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Nesious t1_j0psnqh wrote

I love this take! It inspired me to write a little alternate version for myself while I couldn’t sleep, and I haven’t written for fun in years.

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donutguy640 t1_j0qszre wrote

I look and no find. Y u no post?

Or DID you post, and I'm just a derp? :P

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WoopieDooHereIis t1_j0rmf3x wrote

Dude.

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donutguy640 t1_j14vlnx wrote

What?

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WoopieDooHereIis t1_j1588t5 wrote

Just...don't type like that anymore. You hurt all of us.

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donutguy640 t1_j1egwbv wrote

So, I normally don't anyway, but I wonder if you, or any of the other downvoters, ever tell anybody to "just scroll past" or "ignore it" etc., any time they don't like something. If you do, you're a hypocrite, and I hope you hit your thumb with a hammer. If you don't, I apologize for irritating you.

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WoopieDooHereIis t1_j1eimxo wrote

No biggy I was just telling you why since ya said what. Keep your dick hard.

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Nesious t1_j0sc87p wrote

Posted now as a subreply now! Not incredibly proud of it but I had fun.

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MAXimumOverLoard t1_j0rc1f2 wrote

Proof?

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Nesious t1_j0sc0tk wrote

Oh god LOL. I am not a writer at all so it’s super embarrassing, but sure why not. I never ended up coming with a name for the demon, so I left it blank, but it also somewhat works with the theme.

 

 

[This takes place after she falls asleep, as a retcon I imagine he summoned her a bit before dawn, having gotten up early and being too weak to do it any other time. Some smaller details are different but you can pick it up from context]

 

He watched intently as morning softened the shadows over her face. Decades of this same view flowed through his mind and out as a quiet tear. How many times had he seen that same breath, her head laid against the grass, a blanket, him? How many of these moments had he forgotten now?

He tried to push it all out of his head, but fragmented memories raced past his walls, unbidden. A musical laugh after a punchline lost to time, a content sigh, a wry grin and rolling eyes. He wished he could remember something more appropriate for the occasion, but the images warmed him against the slight breeze, and he couldn’t help a small smile.

Though they met quite a bit more often now, he still kept a few things to himself. His failing faculties embarrassed him, so he never told her that he forgot her mother’s name, or that he didn’t remember ‘that one time you…’ …what was it again?

While his body and mind continued to dull, she was as sharp as ever, and he wondered how much she remembered. If their places were swapped, what would she see, watching the slow rises and falls of his chest? What would she remember when that sight was nothing but a memory?

They had shared so much over the years. He hoped she would think of that time they went to the lake together a few summers ago, and…

The empty space that accompanied the warmth brought a sadder smile to his face.

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember anymore. And I’m sorry for not telling you about that… about, this.”

He never told her he didn’t have the power to bring her here again.

He hoped she would remember him, and forgive him. God, he hoped she’d be okay, and—

“No more hoping,” he chided himself. She had lived long before he did, and would continue to long after he died. He always knew she would be fine without him.

He slowly laid down by her side. But he did really hope she would forgive him.

 

Dawn was well underway now, and though she was a demon he always thought the light suited her quite well.

“Hey, ____, thank you for everything. I’m sorry. And I love you.”

She stirred, half-heartedly trying to open her eyes, but mostly failing.

Always a light sleeper, huh? He had wanted to watch her a bit longer. Maybe he should’ve said it quieter. But, selfishly, he really wanted her to hear it.

No more stalling.

He gently pressed his lips against hers and her eyes shot open in response. A succubus’s kiss is deadly after all. It wasn’t every day they were taken willingly.

His vision narrowed as her eyes widened. He could see her saying something, shouting now, but he couldn’t quite make it out. He saw her shake him by his shoulders, but he couldn’t feel them anymore. He saw tears of understanding begin to stream down her face.

Ha. Sharp as she was, he still managed to surprise her one last time.

He took one more look into that brilliant green.

I’m sorry. I love you.

And he was gone.

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Nesious t1_j0sd4of wrote

I was thinking of those friendships we hold for so long that we forget many of the moments that they were built upon to begin with. Or at least I do with my garbage memory :P. I had an idea for how I'd do the beginning of the story (the summoning) as well, but at 4 AM I just wanted to get out the important bits of what I was thinking about.

It may be a touch too dramatic and have awkward word choice, but as someone who really never writes and barely reads nowadays I had a good time so big thanks to OP and such ^-^.

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ApprehensivePen t1_j0stw5q wrote

I liked it more than mine! You should write more.

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Nesious t1_j0t3xgh wrote

Oh thank you! I have a really hard time thinking of compelling characters and settings myself, so I really needed a good story to build off of <3

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Jacky1111111 t1_j0spwdy wrote

Dude this was good and the dramiticness is fitting so don't worry about that but god this was amazing. Thank you for writer it brother made my night I appreciate it so much

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Nesious t1_j0sq9o5 wrote

Aww thanks <3 glad you enjoyed it!

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Jacky1111111 t1_j0srymw wrote

Do you have any other things that you've written that I could read?

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Nesious t1_j0stcy5 wrote

Sadly no! Frankly I've never written a story for anything except assignments in high school English years ago, so this was rather out of character for me :P.

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Jacky1111111 t1_j0sttoy wrote

Well if you ever write anything again try to remember to give me a shout I'd happily read it for ya

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Beneficial_Ebb_3919 t1_j0w6964 wrote

This is really beautiful, and made me reflect on all the moments I've already forgotten with my wife ❤️

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