How the shit does this even happen? Fml.

I watched motionlessly, the blood pouring from my face as the driver of our Isekai truck swerved away from the kid. The kid who was supposed to become a great warrior and help save an entire kingdom from complete decimation.

“Dude, what are you gonna do? There’s no way we can use a grizzly and we can’t get authorization for another truck,” I said.

“We get a druid.”

“¿Qué?” I was beyond baffled.

“I said we get a druid.”

“Never mind the fact that the nearest druid is thousands of miles to the West and centuries earlier how the hell is a druid going to help?”

“They can cast an awaking spell on the bear.”

Marty looked at me like a toddler who just learned how to use a spoon. “Dude. This isn’t fucking Forgotten Realms it’s Edo Japan. There’s no fucking magic!”

“I know, I know. But we can still make it work. We just go to some fantasy world, grab a druid, bring him to the grizzly and have him awaken it.” That same silly grin on his face.

“And how do you suppose we get the druid there?”

He literally pointed into the air and said “We use a wizard!”

I hung my head in dismay. “So we just find a wizard, convince him to transport a druid between universes and have the druid awaken a seventeen-hundred pound grizzly then proceed to have the grizzly save the kingdom. Sounds simple enough. You just forgot one simple detail. What the actual fuck is an awakened grizzly bear doing in Edo Japan?”

“Shit. I hadn’t thought about that.”

“That’s the thing you hadn’t thought about? Seriously?”

“Okay, maybe we can—“

“Shut the fuck up for a minute. Let me think.” Marty looked a little hurt but I just ignored him. I paced the room for a few minutes trying to figure out how to get around his fuck up. I told him we should just wait until the kid flies to San Francisco. The plane was going to crash. It even would have been less paperwork since there wasn’t going to be any evidence of bodies, much less survivors. There were way too many variables while he was still in Alaska. Our Isekai truck was a 16-wheeler on an icy highway and that alone didn’t guarantee the kid would be hit. That kind of transport vehicle (no pun intended) is usually reserved for frivolous stories like a great-great-great-neice meeting her peasant aunt. Stories with no consequence. Usually when someone hits the wrong target you can still manage to make due with them. Generations removed it’s usually easy enough to convince poor old Aunt Elsie that she never had any nieces and this is actually her nephew. But shit man… A grizzly? I’ve seen some fuck ups before but this one takes the cake.

Then it hit me.

“We can use a wizard.”

“Wait… Aren’t you the one who just told me this isn’t a table-top game?”

“Yeah, but a powerful enough wizard can transport someone between any universes.”

“And where are we going to find a wizard that powerful?”

“Wait. You’re the one who had the wizard idea to begin with. You didn’t think about that?”

“Well…”

“Nevermind. I think I know just the guy.” I gave him a somewhat sinister grin.

A look of recognition slowly formed on his face. “Dude. He’ll fucking kill you.”

“Yeah and so will our manager.” Neither one of us was joking. “We don’t have a choice.”

It’s maybe a bit cliché? I like the idea of going meta though.

This is the first time I’ve ever written for a prompt. Please let me know what you think.

“Hey, remember what that drunk guy in the tavern was shouting about”

“What are you on about?”

Zephaniah and Loriel had been part of a team assembled to stop some wizard gone rogue. it was a fairly common occurrence, once you found out how to control reality around you, it was easy to see those who couldn’t as being “lesser”. Normally this wasn’t much of a problem as a knife to the throat tends to kill anyone pretty quickly. However, for this particular mission the adventures guild neglected to mention a key component.

Namely that this rogue wizard in question was a necromancer

“Well, he was screaming about how one of the gods had summoned a hero to save the world or something”

“Sounds to me more like he just had too much dwarves whiskey”

The party had managed to get through most of the undead guarding the wizards lair with relative ease. It was when they got inside that the necromancer sent the actually tough undead after them.

They had fought on and on, but where getting whittled down one by one, first their wizard passed out after casting one too many spells without a mana potion, then a zombie brute had sent their fighter sprawling with a punch in the jaw. Eventually the only ones left standing where Zephaniah the parties thief, and Loriel the parties ranger, neither of whom stood a chance against the undead swarm.

And then the bear showed up

“Well, I look at this fella and I just think…”

“…no, no way, I refuse”

The bear in question seemingly showed up out of nowhere and began tearing through the undead like they where made of paper. The necromancer hurled spell after spell at the creature in an attempt to stop it. This proved futile as the beast simply either shrugged off the attacks, or in a few cases, caught the spells mid air and seems to, for lack of a better term, eat them.

That was only part of what made the beast truly strange though.

“I mean, look at it”

“Just because it can shrug off spell’s doesn’t mean that is divine intervention”

Magic is a complicated thing. Sure anyone can theoretically cast a spell, but doing so takes time, skill, precision. It takes about a year of practice before one is even able to cast a basic fireball, mages spend decades at college’s trying to master the arcane arts.

And here the bear was, shooting out fireballs with the same effort it took one to scratch their nose.

“Well then you explain how it’s doing any of this”

“I-I’m sure there’s a rational explanation for-“

The bear let out a mighty roar, punishing back the undead surrounding it. Then, it leapt to the skies, or rather the roof, flying above the hordes of zombies and towards the necromancer, who’s head it took off with one clean paw strike. With their master dead, the zombies began to fall, the arcane magics animating them no longer functioning.

The bear let out another roar, this one in triumph over its foe.

“What was that about rational explanations?”

“…we gotta get this thing to a priest”

“Fine, but you’re the one who’s gonna convince it to come along”

If you were to imagine two angels cruising through the wilderness on a beautiful summer's day, you'd probably imagine a scene vastly different to the one currently unfolding...

"HURRY UP CLYDE WE'RE GONNA MISS HIM!" Angelica screamed at her coworker from the passenger seat of the small, inconspicuous truck as they tracked their next job.

Well, ordinarily they'd be inconspicuous. The Truck was perfectly designed to blend into the urban environment that they usually operated in, which meant they stuck out like sore thumbs on this backcountry dirt road. Luckily there was nobody around for miles to find their presence odd.

"I know we're running behind, which is WHY I need you giving me DIRECTIONS! You said he'd be on this road, but we've been driving for forty minutes and I ain't seen shit!" Clyde was usually the most laid-back of the two, and his uncharacteristic anger just served to put the pair even more on edge.

Being late on a delivery was bad news, cosmically speaking. Some really high up beings could get really pissed off.

"This stupid Calling Stone isn't working! Either that or this kid is literally lost in the middle of the fucking forest! The Stone's saying he's 2 miles, 3 o'clock, but the road should get us there eventually..."

At that moment, Clyde felt a buzzing in his pocket. Taking one hand off the wheel he fumbled for his phone and checked the alert, confirming his worst fears. "Fuck. We're not gonna make it, they've already begun the Summoning Ritual."

"SHIT! What do we do?!"

"We're gonna have to risk it for the biscuit. Hold onto your halo." Clyde gripped the wheel and yanked hard right, swerving the Truck off the road and barreling through the dense foliage at breakneck speed.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Angelica wittily replied.

As the Truck raced through the thick forest, space almost seemed to distort around it allowing the otherwise bulky vehicle to fit through the trees with supernatural - and scientifically offensive - precision. A small ring of glowing energy appeared above Clyde's head as he guided the Truck through the maze of trunks.

"We can still make it! Gonna have to break a few speeding laws, don't let the Physics department find out about this!"

Invisible to any observers, but not the divine delivery drivers, a faint sheen of energy began to appear around the Truck, coating every inch of its surface. The Summoning Ritual was ready...

"FIFTY METERS!" Angelica cried. "We're gonna make it, I can't believe we're actually gonna-"

***CRASH!***

- - -

"Oh fuck. OH FUCK! OH SHITFUCK! WE'RE SO SCREWED!" Angelica cried.

Lying on the ground in front of the slightly dinged Truck wasn't the body of an unsuspecting high-schooler like they'd been expecting. No, the kid stood off to the side, looking slightly dazed but otherwise in perfect health. Instead what lay on the ground was the body of a full-grown grizzly bear, dead as a doornail.

Clyde pinched the bridge of his nose, attempting to stave off the headache that was threatening to take hold. He took a deep breath, trying to assess the situation objectively.

Objectively, they were screwed. He briefly considered attempting again to run the kid over, just in case. But the Summoning was a one-time use spell. They'd have to recast it from the other end in order for that to work. He did also consider just running the kid over for being all the way out in the middle of the fucking forest. Like what the heck man? Why?

"Erm- are you guys... okay?" The kid asked, eyeing the bent bumper of the Truck. "I think you just s- s- saved my life from that bear."

"Oh just shut it kid!" Angelica snapped, "I've had quite enough from you, you lucky bastard! Next time someone wants to summon you, why don't you just have the decency to be in a more populated, civilized, area like everyone else, huh?! Making my job a pain in the ass!"

"W- what?"

"Just leave him." Clyde said. "There's nothing for it now. Besides, it could be worse, at least we managed to send something instead of missing the order completely."

"But, but... this isn't right! The plan, the timelines, fate, destiny! Everything's off now!"

"Angie, when you've been in this business as long as I have, you come to realize that all that fate nonsense is nowhere near as strict as you think it is. It's all improv on the spot, hardly any real concrete planning at all."

"Really?"

"For our sake, I fucking hope so."

EDIT: Spelling

The smartest person grumpiest bear becomes the lowest noble in another world!!!

Brum brum

The engines revved and a spill of oily smoke spat into the cold night air, the cherry red paint on the moving truck was blotched in places from over zealous use of an automated car wash service. Truck-kun mulled over the latest order in a long line of increasingly bizarre and demanding requests from otherworldly entities, but it was a living. The decepticon sticker plastered over his rear bumper plate shimmered in the crimson glow of a half cracked tail light. The cargo was empty, but the delivery was about to go down.

The road was secluded and dark, trees lined either side of the lightless stretch for what could be an eternity. Truck-kun lurked behind the only other source of light, a billboard for the local McDonalds, seven miles along the road. The delivery order stated the target jogged on this road every night from 9 pm til 10, just enough endorphins to keep that genius level mind ticking over til morning. He rolled into the pitch black bitumin and sped down the road, flicking his headlights into highbeams, catching sight of a human figure up ahead. The reflected light from the fog revealed an empty cabin, Truck-kun had no need of a driver, for he was the truck.

He'd done this countless times now, more then he would admit, it was becoming shamefully common. The Isekai gods had glommed onto a pattern that worked, and rather than put some thought into how they pulled their heroes from the mortal plane, they sent a sms to Truck-kun. Still, a Truck had to keep diesel in it's belly somehow. A simple swerve and activate the soul deliverer, and the job would be done.

He shrieked as his brakes engaged, swerving into the gravel shoulder of the road, catching sight of a larger shape looming over the human, slashing upon it with terrible claws. Oh shit, that thing was in the way, and more besides, the human's throat was slashed out by the gruesome claws of a massive grizzly bear. It was too late to disengage the delivery now, the front bumper of Truck-kun impacted the bear leaving both worse for wear as the soul of the wild creature was transported to some far flung alternate dimension where ridiculous and overused tropes would occur. Truck-kun would rather watch American idol than subject himself to the vageries of some escapist tripe. Limping down the road to a nearby repair shop to get his front bumper replaced, Truck-kun set about texting an apology message to the Goddess who had ordered a veritable genius and instead been delivered a hungry bear.

​

Bears do not concern themselves with the concerns of mortals, or immortals

​

Bear roared as he went to rend his prey's guts from it's torso, the darkness of night giving way to an ever brightening and unexpected early dawn that quickly became a solid wall of pain. For a moment he floated in an endless expanse of that blinding light, uncomprehending of what bizarre event had snatched him away from his first proper meal in two days. Where prey had once been plentiful he had found the humans encroaching deeper and deeper into his territory of late, and the deer he had been so fond of becoming scarce. To put further misery into his troublesome life, the elder bear had even had to contend with those same humans trying to hunt him. The undisputed lord of the forrest realm! He snarled to himself as the endless light of every star gave way to solid wood beneath his leathery paws, and the muted dimness of candlelight. There before him sat a human, soft and pink, but emanating an aura of power that filled Bear with animalistic dread.

Averse to fire and stricken by fear, he growled and lifted himself up upon his haunches, making himself big to seem more a challenge. The human woman didn't seem scared of his theatrics, so he swiped at the air powerfully and roared loud enough that spittle rained across her form."Sit down please," said the Goddess, and Bear found himself sitting without thinking, or moving if he thought about it. He blinked, for he had never met a human who spoke Bear, or a Bear that spoke Bear."This is quite the pickle Truck-kun has left me in, and the target dead besides, for which we have you to thank," she prattled onwards and onwards, a veritable brook of words bubbling from her mouth like a spring thaw. Bear finding his mind wandering as he sniffed the air, smelling honeysuckles and oak, the babbling sound of the Goddess an unconcerning buzz in his twitching ears. As black eyes searched the room for an escape, of which there seemed to be none, he found himself settling back on the woman for she had begun to exude an air of irritation as if he had the bad graces to cross into her hunting grounds.

"Well?" she asked, and Bear found himself speaking for the first time ever. "Well what?"She gasped in exasperation "Didn't you listen to a thing I said?" Bear shook himself all over and growled a curt "Nope". Her scent said angry, but Bear couldn't tell a single thing from human body language, should he be remorseful? It wasn't in his nature, so he merely blinked and waited.The Goddess gave an indignant shriek and launched into what must have been another rendition of her world altering speech, for which Bear did not care, though he made sure to pay enough attention to wait for the question at the end which would free him from this tree hole. Half the things she said had no translation into the thoughts of a bear, so he grunted a few times to seem interested like when he had found a particularly honey filled hive nestled within the hollow of a tree.

"You can have one boon to help you in this quest, what would you have to aid you as a human noble?" she said, her tone flicking upwards at the end which seemed to be important to her speech.Bear growled, a human? "Like forrest fire I'd be a human. I want to stay a bear" he growled, still unable to stand from where he sat to fully express his rage at such an injustice."You wish to remain a bear? But how will that work, everyone will lose their minds."To which Bear sat and pondered, the solution so simple, though he cared not one bit what this quest was. "Then for my boon, I'll stay a bear, but no one will see."The Goddess blinked, a slight twitch in her eye that Bear did notice, and congratulated himself on noticing. A clear sign of human approval?"Very well, waste your boon. Do not forget your quest, or I will be ruined" she said, and Bear felt reality melt away into cold all-encompassing starlight once more.

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See Reality Fiction and Simple Prompts for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

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