I'm fairly recently wheelchair bound. I'm also separating myself from a toxic group of friends quite successfully, I just thought a few of them would support me, I was wrong. I'm dealing with it, I'll get over it, it's just that the sting is very new still. I thought a few dudes still had my back. They did not. Oh well, the ones I've got left are doing their best. We'll get there, I'm not mad at them it's just tough when your buddies spend the whole time they're at

My wife and I talk a lot. It's getting better, she didn't even realize she was acting this way. We talk most nights about what we can do to fix it and it's getting better. She is just struggling, she's used to me being strong, healthy and active. Now I'm in pain all the time, cold all the time, and my body isn't working right. It's a big shift - we've been together 15 years so it's a change that will take getting used to. We'll get there, the kids... I can't blame them. We'll work on it.

My care team royally fucked up. This didn't have to happen, but it did. We are getting through it, but it's our first Xmas with me fucked up and it's HARD. Especially without my parents. Things are shit right now. They'll get better. I'm fueled by spite and I have plenty to be angry about, but I'm not giving up. Not for me. For my kids. I may not walk them down the the aisle, I may not stand up to dance, but I'm going to learn to dance in this fucking chair. I'm going to roll them down the aisle. I'm going to love them. Even if I hate what my personal situation is.

Thank you for being kind.

u/disfreakinguy :

This may sound odd. But is there any chance volunteering at a parrot sanctuary or rescue might help? Because they are often lost between the life they knew and the next life they decide to choose and trust.

They saved me. It’s not easy with parrots. It’s patient, polite taming between two cautious species.

The wheelchair is the elephant in the room right now, and I apologize because I don’t mean that in a hurtful way. I mean it as “it’s apparently what everyone is getting caught up by.”

It won’t disappear. But it will shrink to its actual size.

I’ve not been in a wheelchair, but I’ve worn a fair amount of orthopedic leg gear.

The wheelchair will startle some of the parrots, if the chair comes up too close and fast to them. So the very thing that is the most agonizing is the thing one has to negotiate with the parrots about.

Once they get a chance to examine the chair and the human sitting in it, while feeling safe during this examination, this is what they’ll see:

“Finally a person who sits down and lets me come to them instead of just rushing over and jamming their hand under my toes, so suddenly I lose my balance! I could approach this person. Or they could approach me and just sit and talk, then listen to me.”

If a parrot is higher than you, don’t ever reach up unless you know for certain that bird wants to walk down your arm.

It’s better to let it come down and be at your level.

Or have it walk over and climb up to you.

But often there are caged parrots who can’t be let out because they’re too angry/traumatized, or they’ve been abused, or they’re disabled by broken body parts, and so they tend bite people, hard. Or they get bitten because they rush to another parrot for contact, so they have to be protected from themselves. They’re just so damn lonely.

And there’s not enough time for them. Too many parrots for too few people in the rescue/sanctuary.

For someone to sit even three feet away and then talk to them would be like a dream they never would dare expect to come true.

At the very least, it’s something different to do in a day. Just remember to keep your movements and voice calm, secure, not sudden, and it also helps not to stare at them.

Three-quarter face. Slow blinks. Humming. Whistling. Singing bits of song. Just holding a conversation about whatever comes to mind: “So, what do you think about the latest released information on UFOs?”

I didn’t mean to offend anyone. I hope this doesn’t come across as a r/thanksimcured toss-off. It’s truly and sincerely meant, and I hope very much that if not this, you find something else that gives you some ease and happiness.

Good luck and best wishes, always ♥️🍀🎶🌠