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Wouldn't that just mean that plastic is basically airborne and will be breathed by living beings around the world? Doesn't sound too good for the body.

“Don’t you see? The bacteria will fix everything! All the litter, the plastic in the oceans, even single-use straws, will be gone in a matter of days!”

“Can your bacteria be stopped? Can it be contained?

“Oh no, not anymore. It is too far gone. The bacteria will eat and eat until the world runs out of plastic, and then it will die off.”

“The bacteria will eat all the plastic?”

“All of it!”

“I can’t believe you would do something so, so, incredibly, unbelievably stupid!”

“How can you say that? I’m going to make the world better!”

“Have you ever seen someone who’s been intubated in order to breathe?

“What?”

“Have you ever seen someone breathing through a tube because they were hurt or in a coma or something?”

“Well, yeah. But what does that have to do with anything?”

“What do you think the tubes are made of?”

“What?”

“The tubes that goes down someone’s throat to help them breathe, what’s it made of?”

“It would be, um, I suppose, uh… oh no.”

“Yeah, and IV bags that hold medicine, and the tubes that carry that medicine into peoples’ bodies? What are they made of, genius?”

“Oh god.”

“That’s just the beginning. Most pipes and plumbing infrastructure in houses is plastic! Don’t even get me started on how much stuff is made plastic based polyester! Try most furniture sold in the last few decades and a lot of people’s clothes!”

“What have I done?”

“You’ve killed a lot of people! Society can adapt to not having plastic. Plastic wasn’t widely used in consumer products until the 50s. That being said, do you know what airplane windows are made of? Do you have any idea how much plastic is in most cars nowadays? Although, before you try to answer any of those questions, and come to the realization that you are responsible for an untold number of deaths, I just want to know one thing. WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST USE REUSABLE GROCERY BAGS AND RECYCLE LIKE THE REST OF US?”

[removed]

I was completely silent.

He is always ramling. Random things that seem to trip and stumble over themselves. But he pays his half of the rent, and he's fun to be around.

And this... Was nothing abnormal.

"Ace. Who is 'we', and what the hell are you talking about?"

"No, no, go ahead, finish eating!"

I looked down at my bowl of cereal. A mound of whatever coated in sugar. A plastic spoon sat haphazardly on the lip.

I didn't even get to eat my first bite.

"Um, no. Explain what you mean by that."

"Uh, airborne pathogen... Grey goo, you know what that is? It's like that, except it isn't. It's nothing like that. It's more like a pseudo-replicant type thing, I don't know what it's called-"

"Ace slow down-"

"-consumes plastic and then recreates itself using plastic. Like mitosis. Not like mitosis! Nothing like it actually. More like-"

"ACE!"

He froze, head titled in confusion.

I exhaled.

"Simple terms buddy."

"Oh! Uhm, imagine bacteria!"

"Okay?"

"It's like that!"

I sighed again. All the weight and pain of the world behind it.

He's weird. Anyone can see that. But he's imaginative if nothing else.

"Let's start at the beginning... What is it called?"

"Thorid-7. Formally, 'Thesis-768-AngelKiller'."

"What does it do?"

I took a bite of my cereal.

"Uses plastics in the air and in materials to reproduce!"

"How does it do this?"

"Matter conversion mostly, using a modified-"

"Basic concept buddy."

"Right, right..."

"Why did you release it today?"

He looked around for a bit. Eyes darting from the couch to me, then to the cabinets, then his hand.

Then he looked at me. Eyes carrying such a heavy confusion.

"Um, to control the world?"

"How?"

"Uh..."

He began to look around again. He hoped that the ceiling or floor would answer for him. They didn't. His last hope was me, staring at me. He wanted me to answer for him.

"Come on bud, I know you got a plan."

"Well... Clothes...?"

"Clothing?"

"Most shirts are made with some form of plastic in it, I think..."

"So...?"

"Make plasticless shirts and stuff... Corner the market... Capitalism...?"

I shook my head gently. He hadn't even fully thought through the idea.

He probably just thought it was cool.

Not that I blame him.

"Ace, buddy."

He looked up at me.

"I like the idea. Use Captalism."

His eyes lit up at that. He began to squirm. Like you offered a kid candy.

"Go on then, finalize this plan of yours."

He sprinted off to his room. Snickering to himself.

Maybe I'm not the creative type, but writers are still fun to be around.

Oh, those are all in the 1% that doesn't get destroyed.

Well, there goes all of modern medicine and computing and transportation and any electronic device. Good luck chaps.

FR-4 is a plastic laminate and it's in just about every circuit board made in the past 40 years.