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Zak_The_Slack t1_j29kj5d wrote

I stared at the aliens, confused. “How did you get here? We’ve proven that traveling faster than light is impossible.”

Correct, the voice in my head responded. These creatures spoke with their minds instead of mouths. It still creeped me out a bit. We got here by slowly traveling through space. What concerns us, however, is you.

“Wait, us?” I exclaimed.

We did not expect there to be anything left on this planet. When we left, it was devoid of all life, the voice calmly said.

“So,” I started to say, “You’ve been traveling for…”

Around 65 million years, give or take.

I whistled. “Your species lasts this long?”

If the creature could laugh, it would have. Instead it made some sort of wheezing sound. No, we are descendants of those who left our home. Be glad you did not meet those who originally left.

“Why?” I asked.

They… it paused. They had some, let’s say, radical views. They wouldn’t hesitate to repeat what they did before. You see, it was them who sent the missile.

My eyebrows furrowed. “What missile? And how do we not know about this.”

The alien sighed in my mind. Because that missile wiped out all life on this planet 130 million years ago.

Edit: thanks for the typo u/braoutchmeuh! Completely missed them when writing it.


Graoutchmeuh t1_j29soab wrote

Two things :
>Be glad you did meet those who originally left.

Didn't you mean "Be glad you did NOT meet..."?

And the missile the wiped out the dinosaurs fell 65 millions years ago, not 165.


S1eepyZ t1_j2b4ikt wrote

Could take place in the far future


K1_ultra t1_j2b9dfs wrote

100 million years later is enough time to colonise the galaxy at an acceptable rate I think we would either be long dead or the aliens would already be dead, known about or enslaved


S1eepyZ t1_j2bdejp wrote

Yea, but it was the only explanation I thought of.


Zak_The_Slack t1_j2dmyuq wrote

Thanks for the improvements! Just fixed the numbers and the typo


Far_Assistant_4315 t1_j2brxe7 wrote

Yeah, and also-

>Because that missile wiped out all life on this planet 165 million years ago.


>“So,” I started to say, “You’ve been traveling for…”
>Around 165 million years, give or take.

Why would they wait 165 million years to start traveling to Earth, (assuming the missile goes the same speed as the the ship) to colonize the place?

Maybe they wanted to let Earth "cool down" after a total extinction event, but I doubt that 165 million years is even enough.


akeean t1_j2c17cs wrote

The missle accelerated faster to a fraction of c while the generational ship ramped it's speed up (and then down) slowly in comparison, since it was humungus in size?

That wouldn't make much of a difference over 65m years, since even at 1g acceleration you get to 10% of c in a few decades.


sue_donyem t1_j2829yn wrote

By the time ʻOumuamua was already gone, humanity had discovered the true nature of the extrasolar object. Tongue in cheek arguments that it was an extraterrestrial probe, sent by some far off civilization, were proven correct- in part, by signals left in it's wake, repeating in binary, every three point one four minutes, on a wavelength so faint it took ARCJAT, a satellite radio telescope launched in 2040, to pick it up.

The asteroid was a casing for an extraterrestrial craft, drifting for billions and billions of years, with an initial trajectory targeting where Earth was some 45 million years ago, following the purge of competitive life 66 million years ago. The craft had been damaged somehow during it's long travel, and whatever force which motivated it's trajectory had flubbed the math at some point because of it, causing the craft to miss Earth by few houses, cosmically speaking, and was forced by gravity to shoot past our system and Oort cloud.

We will never know what the extraterrestrials look like, but Sir Isaac Newton claimed another victory for Earth, it seemed.


ckayfish t1_j2b68k5 wrote

“You’re telling me that your species sent a missile to destroy all life, waited for it to get here, waited for the light to get back to where ever you came from to witness the event, then sent a generational ship and just stopped watching the planet for development?”


“Did you not receive any radio signals from the planet, or observe any of our interstellar probes?”


“What would you like to happen now?”


“What do you have to offer us?”

The secrets of unlimited power

“Who will control this power?”

No one. It’s accessible to everyone

“You can stay, but only if you promise to never share this secret.”

Why can’t we share it

“Because there are those here that would use it to destroy the planet.”

Why would they do this

“Religion mostly. They believe that’s what their God wants.”

What is religion. What is God

“(Provides brief history of religion on earth)”

“Wait! Where are you going? Come back… hello?!”


Wrooof OP t1_j2cgi16 wrote

I love this! It's exactly what would happen if aliens learnt about what we do in the name of a god.


RandomModder05 t1_j2b93wo wrote

"Splick Coo Griddle Henry Zhif-Tan! Quon How Mucha Mucha xoch Pow'hafta Screech Binga Koff. Meeanto Liiff'chu!" The large tentacled thing across from Anderson Cooper said. A moment later, it's translator rendered it into particularly awful English. "Firstly off the Contacting! Very badness! Monarch of Great Lizard Sapients Consume Ambassador! War Became!"

"I see," the reporter said, nodding his head in an practiced motion no different than you'd see in an interview with a politician having a sex scandal or a famous musician fresh out of rehab.

"Bring'UH! Tel'chanaka, Mucha Mucha Squeeeelllllll Preeettt he'Fou! Gondo Pref-Don Whooomuumnz! Pow'hafta Screech Binga Koff x'el x'el greeeee..." "You humans know of..." The translator cut out, beeping angrily. The alien made an unhappy sounding noise, opened the back of the translator, and switched out a blue bar with an identical blue bar. The translator beeped happily and continued to fail miserably at it's intended function. "You humans have knowing of this! The Greatening of the Tyranny is told of by you! You name Monarch of Great Lizard Sapients..."

"Teeaaaaaa Wreeeecccckkkzzz!"


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