Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

Acshz t1_j22tnxc wrote

TW: suicidal thoughts, depression

I looked over the dirty comforter that ran between us, barely surprised. I rarely left the bed now a days. I got up to feed Sebastian, my Dane, twice a day. Every once and a while I would get myself a glass of water too, only if I could handle it.

My depression had gotten bad after I lost my father. I was trying to stay alive, my head in a civil war between the light and the dark. The only thing that kept me pushing was Sebastian, and in my spiral, my schizophrenia went unchecked.

My therapist told me that, in addition to pills, it was in my best interest to try and ignore the voices and hallucinations, namely talking to my dog.

Sebastian talked back to me for a long time, and it was hard to realize that it wasn’t him, but me answering. I stopped talking to him with my treatment and he stopped talking back, which in the grand scheme of things this was good, but I missed my conversations with my best friend.

“Why don’t you talk to me anymore?” Seb repeated.

It was a hallucination and I knew that, but misery loves company and I didn’t care enough to control my indulgence.

“I’m not supposed to,” I replied.

“Why not?” He asked

“Because it’s not real,” I said softly, like it would make this small comfort shatter.

“Your right,” he said, surprising me. “It’s not real, it’s you talking to yourself, but why shouldn’t you talk things through with yourself? It helps sometimes, and verbal processing is not unhealthy,”

“Look at me, I haven’t showered in a week, my room is a mess, and the only time I get up is to feed you. I obviously care deeply about how healthy this conversation is.” I said sarcastically.

“You don’t want to get up at all, but you do for me. You care so much about me and you are willing to keep pushing for me. Why not yourself?”

“Because I’m not worth it, but you are.”

“Who in the hell said you weren’t worth it. No one that’s who. It’s you putting it on yourself and believing it. While you feel you are worth nothing, , I am here proving otherwise. You feel like you can’t do anything right now except care for me. You care about me. And I care about you. I don’t care that you havent showered or cleaned up or that you haven’t taken me out or exercised me. I’m still here with you and I always will be. So for me, could you try? Just take a small step. Let’s go sit in the sun in the living room. I can bask and you can taste sunlight again. We can evaluate from there,” he finished.

I started thinking of this dialogue as my dog. That was the only way I could fathom doing this: if it was for him. I couldn’t let him down.

So I stood up, in the clothes I had been wearing for days, and stalked out to the living room Seb at my heels. I sat down in the sun and closed my eyes. I heard a hearty groan and sigh from nearby, and knew that Seb had found his spot.

His heavy head fell into my lap and I began to stroke it, feeling my head begin to quiet. I enjoyed the moment without surplus thought. I just was.

Sebastian led me through small steps back to where I am now. I am not the pinnacle of health, but I am getting better. I still talk to Sebastian now, and even though he doesn’t talk back, I choose to believe that it really was him who pulled me out and helped me back into the world again.

50

Acshz t1_j26qmmo wrote

Thank you all for the kind words and the award!

1

beginnerwriteralt t1_j23k59j wrote

Disclaimer: Garbage formatting, copied from DangerNotes after I finished writing

EDIT: Words inside of asterisks like this were meant to be italicized, however, my iPad decided to disagree with me.

Thank you OP for the prompt.

Staring with a blank expression at the turmoil around him, all he could do was begin to pick up the mess, it looked like a murder, the body shredded to ribbons, it’s insides formed pools at various places on the carpeted ground, however, broken glass on the tile near the door made it almost impossible to navigate through to the crime-scene but, even during all the headache Rickey knew he would have to replace Trey’s favorite toy, and soon. The deliciously fluffy fur coat of his best friend still held evidence of the murder, the teddy bear’s head was trapped between his jaws and did no good to support his apologetic whimpers. “Really Buddy? You know the date is supposed to be here soon.” Rickey said while sweeping the rest of the broken cup into a dust-pan. “What did Franklin even do to you? This was a *massacre*. ” He said to himself slightly disgusted. 

Rickey stared at the eyes that were filled with excitement begin to flood with guilt, Trey started to his legs and began prodding his ankle with the wet nose of his. “I know buddy, I know, you didn’t mean it, it’s okay.” He reassured his companion, after all there was someone he had to get ready for and he felt he had no business thrashing his friend for having some fun. Rickey began his trip to the wardrobe, picking out his favorite turtle-neck and grabbing his loafers. “What do you think Trey?” “Yeah I know I look good man, you think it’s too formal?” “Ha, you’re right, these shoes are definitely overkill, Rickey exchanged his shoes with his trusty pair of McQueen’s, “What about these? C’mon, simplicity is key, can’t go wrong with the all white, you remember how much I spent on these?” Rickey said, squashing the memory as it formed, he couldn’t bear being reminded of the bullet he bit at check-out, all just to look good at marriage he didn’t know anyone at. Trey sensed his friends expression turning gaunt and when his head began dropping, he ran as fast he could leaping onto two legs to place his paws on Rickey’s thighs, and releasing a playful yelp. “Sorry pup, I just miss her, y’know?” Rickey let his mind wander, remembering how he thought a pair of expensive shoes would help the first expression he would give her parents. Looking back on it he felt it was naive of him to even think he’d get to that point, but after the plus-one invite to her sister’s wedding he decided to go all out, unfortunately, all she ended up going out on was the relationship. “Jesus, what time is it?” He said, snapping back to present, he glanced at the clock, *10 more minutes* he thought, relieved, he grabbed his favorite cologne, and silver chain, “Never forget the accessories, Trey, you’ll learn one day, I might even start taking you to that new dog park they built on Winslow.” Trey replied with a loud and excitement rich bark which told Rickey all he needed to know. “First you gotta meet Ana.” Trey circled his bed a few times before laying down in agreement.

The doorbell finally rang, the sound recoiled off the walls of his not-so generous sized apartment, combined with the expected nervousness involved in this situation the ring might as well have signified the start of the Purge, his heart leapt, giving an incredulous look stare at the door, preparing for the task ahead. He opened the door with grace befitting that of an upset chihuahua — BANG — the loud thump was enough to turn Ana around, revealing well applied make-up to a slick olive skin tone, she was beautiful, the pictures they had taken together never seemed to do her justice when he looked back on them. “Wow, seems like I met the guy who they install door-stoppers for.” She replied letting a smirk creep to her face. “Seems I’ve met the girl beautiful enough to woo the guy they install door-stoppers for.” He replied, mirroring the smirk. “Well put.” She said, making her way inside. “Dinner’s almost done, just had to grab some sauce for the shrimp.” Rickey said, making his way to the kitchen. “Ooh, can’t wait, y’know Rickey, Marie never said you were a chef when she told me about you.” “What can I say? I’m like a Rickey of all trades.” He replied, holding his breath for a moment and going still, hoping for a laugh. “That, however, is something she mentioned, your horrible jokes.” “Impossible” Rickey said bringing a plate of shrimp cocktail accompanied by liquor and glasses to the décored living room.

“Where’s your bathroom at Rickey?” “Go to the hallway, the middle door on your left.” He replied, putting the food and drink on the coffee table, Trey stirred from his bed with only one thing on his mind, *food*, seeing shrimp hardly being attended to while Rickey filled the glasses was a dream come true for a hungry husky. “Trey, don’t even think about it, this food isn’t for you.” Rickey quipped, putting a stop to the puppies antics almost as soon as they started. “I’ll feed you later, go lay down.” However, Trey was made of sterner stuff. “Alright, one piece.” Rickey said tossing a piece of shrimp to the dogs bed on the other side of the room, “Go get it boy.” “Ooh, sorry for interrupting your conversation with Trey.” Ana said, catching Rickey off guard. “No problem.” Rickey said with a short laugh, “You talk to your dog so much, it’s almost cute, how’d you come up with Trey?” Rickey paused for a moment before replying, *hmm, I do talk to Trey often* he thought, “Oh, he was the third born, so Trey just felt natural, how’d your parents come up with Ana.” “Well, they didn’t. They came up with Anastasia, however, that’s a mouthful, I like the simpler version.” She said while taking off her shoes and joining Rickey at the couch “what’s with the ‘e’ in Rickey?” She continued. “No clue, never asked my mom, I like it though, it’s different.” He replied

PART 1 OF 3 - CONTINUED IN THE REPLIES TO THIS COMMENT (Reddit gives me ‘Please Try Again Later’ when I don’t split it up)

3

beginnerwriteralt t1_j23kwqz wrote

PART 2 OF 3 (Begins with small time skip)

“Ready to go?” Rickey asked, “Yes, of course, let me grab my things.” “No problem, I’ll put this stuff up real quick.” Rickey replied, gathering the dishes, wondering if there was any point going to the Rooftop Bar after having drinks. One of the privileges of living downtown he thought, everything within walking distance. Rickey was caught in a trance, staring out at the city lights, taking in its beauty, wondering what everyone else had going on in their lives down below, a sharp yelp followed by a “Goddamnit” broke him free and he ran to the living room alarmed, “What happened Ana?” He looked down and seen crimson flowing out of Ana’s foot, a small wound, but it had split her sock and caused quite a stream. “I- I don’t know.” She said, now sitting on the ground nursing her right foot. “I’ll grab the first-aid kit.” “Thank you, Rickey.” She replied, he stared at her, she was still beautiful, her bottom lip bit, gulping as she gazed at the blood, he stopped and grabbed the kit, starting to tend to her, he grabbed a disinfectant wipe and a large band-aid, “This might sting.” He said. Ana grabbed a handful of her own shirt in anticipation but it proved futile, he could see the color flush from her face the moment he made contact with the wound. She didn’t say anything, only winced, the alcohol in her system was helping.

“You should be good now.” Rickey said as he finished up. She started to stand and began walking, gingerly. “Want to me to call you an Uber? I think we’ve had enough alcohol for one night.” He asked, “Yes, that’ll do, sorry about all this.” “It’s not your fault, I didn’t clean up Trey’s mess completely, I’ll make this up to you, on the next date of course.” Rickey said with a smile, maneuvering through the app on his phone. “You’re lucky I already decided you could have another date before this, Rickey.” She smiled. “Otherwise I wouldn’t be too sure.” She continued. Rickey let out a chuckle, “Thanks.” They waited for a moment before Rickey’s phone pinged, “Your ride will be here soon.” He said. “Great, we should probably head to the elevator then.” She replied, “Care to carry me?” She continued in a taunting tone. “Of course I will.” He replied with a smirk.

CONTINUED IN REPLIES

3

beginnerwriteralt t1_j23lbsk wrote

PART 3 OF 3

Trey watched as the front door opened and revealed Rickey, home from another date night with Ana, it had been a few weeks since that last, however, Rickey seemed different, his face garmented a deadpan expression, his movement seemed slow and his gaze was completely unaimed, Trey could smell even the smallest amount of liquor from a mile away, It was part of his nature, it was clear to him Rickey had, had some drinks, however Trey sensed he wasn’t intoxicated to a large degree, something else must be afoot. “C’mere Trey, let me take you outside.” Rickey’s voice travelled with little emotion, Trey listened though, he hadn’t gone on a long walk in quite some time, Rickey hadn’t been treating him like normal for the past few weeks, after a few years it was odd to Trey, not having to hear about Rickey’s day or girl problems at least once in a while. Rickey latched the leash around Trey’s collar and started outside, first to the elevator, then once they reached the first floor they began walking through bustling downtown, not something quite uncommon but Trey had learned these walks often lasted longer, something he would never oppose. “Y’know something Trey.” Rickey started, as they crossed a street absent of cars, Trey seemed to freeze for a second, taking an apparent double take, It had been a while since Rickey talked to Trey like normal, The dog filled with giddiness as he at last heard his friend again. “I just don’t understand it bud.” Rickey continued, “Maybe I never will…”

They continued, Trey began taking in the night time city view, the lights, the people, all something he didn’t see often, but now that he was enveloped in it realized how intriguing it was. Trey realized they were on the opposite side of the road they usually ended up on, but it was a minuscule detail, it lead to the same place. They began to approach an alley way that was on their right, something Rickey had never really seen up-close, he didn’t know why he changed his routine, but he did, he’s walked the beginning of this route countless times, and countless times found himself on the opposite side of the street at this point in the path. It was quiet at this part of the street, no one near them, they had gotten past the hectic part of downtown, the sound of wind scraping trash and debris into the corners of the dark street was louder than the faded voices and music behind them, a siren wailed in the distance but soon meshed in with the rest of the dulled noise. Now is as good a time as any Trey thought to himself, “Why don’t you talk with me anymore?” Trey said. Rickey froze, his mouth falling open, it was now his turn to do a double take. “What?” He asked, for most people hearing the voice of a long time friend was nothing new, for Rickey it was now dumbfounding, “W- What?” He asked again, he was drunk but that couldn’t explain his inability to think right now. “I said, why don’t you talk with me anymore, Rickey, I miss it y’know, hearing about your day, and arguing with you over the dumb stuff, you haven’t been the same recently.” Trey responded. Rickey let out a bark of laughter, he felt insane but he played along, “I don’t know man, just felt weird after long enough, especially once Ana pointed it out.” He told Trey. Trey paused before responding, sniffing some garbage on the ground, he could feel the dampness of the alley seeping into paws, “Speaking of her, how are things going?” “Things are going great, too good actually, but I just can’t understand it, I just can’t stop thinking of her… what did she do to me… “ Rickey replied, starting into the alley, he didn’t know what drew him in, maybe it was the welcoming darkness, the security of not being seen once inside, maybe it would be easier to talk with no possible way to be judged in the shadows, as he continued forward he caressed the rough bricks with his fingertips searching, he could feel the grime that had fused with the concrete pulling at his shoes with each step that he took, he didn’t care, the darkness felt inviting and he new Trey would hold no opposition. “Wanna check out this alley Trey?” “Of course, thought you’d never ask.” Trey replied, “Why don’t you just focus on Ana? No point in focusing on the past, she’s in your past, and she always will be, Rickey.” He continued. “I know, Trey, but I can’t explain it, It confuses me more than you… I- I just miss it, I miss everything about it.” Rickey replied. “If you can’t explain it, there’s no need in trying to, Ana’s perfect for you, I know you’ll make the smart decisions, lets head home it reeks here and I can’t stand walking on soggy garbage.” “You’re right, Trey.”

“Goodnight, Rickey”

“Goodnight, Man”

“Hey Bud, wanna go to park?” Rickey asked, his personality finally back to normal the next morning.

“Sure.” Trey replied.

“W- Wait… You’re… You’re real?”

THE END

Hopefully you enjoyed if you made it this far, sorry about the mess of multiple parts, might’ve been a tad too long for Reddit to allow in 1 post

3

AutoModerator t1_j21h1si wrote

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See Reality Fiction and Simple Prompts for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1