Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

Still_Going34 t1_j278a3t wrote

"IT ATE IT" Hissed Jekob-3, the Androde. His metallic pincers opened and shut rapidly, enormous pupils swiveling from one council member to the next. All looked at the holo-screen with varying degrees of horror.

What the council assumed to be a human aristocrat, daintily wiped her mouth after partaking in a plateful of one of the most terrifying creatures known to the council. She looked up at her servant and to their horror, asked for more...fried.

an Octopus, they called it.

Known as a Sargonite to those familiar with the fierce race, all trembled in fear at the mention of them. When fully fledged they farmed entire Sola for their young, and lived in the hearts of crumbling galaxies, the council had been formed to defend against them.

Another member, a Kaulois, a reptilian race, pointed a trembling finger at the human next to it. Who had just been served a plate of...were those Paleins? It gagged, long red tongue lolling out of its oblong snout and onto the ground. Paleins, a poisonous plant that drove many a race insane, are incredibly rare outside of worlds rich in water. Here they named it Kale, but its nickname was "The Fall of an Empire." After having killed off a Guodion emperor and his entire harem after having it shredded into their meals. They'd died slowly, and not before bringing their capital planet to its knees.

More and more members of the Council pointed things out, not just what they were eating, but what they were doing.

"Why do they...?" Another said, having zoomed into the scene of multiple humans kicking around a ball in a large field, something seemed to have triggered the herd of humans, as they all burst into a riot and began destroying infrastructure indiscriminately.

"Fellow council members--" began a quivering alien, its feelers all raised in the air "--This excursion to the human planet, Earth, has shown me that humans have no need for the council."

One by one, they began to agree. A Zorp, a wriggly mass of keratin with a beak opened its mouth and screeched. The translator nodded its many heads furiously.

"His highness believes that perhaps the humans should be added to the list of races the council needs to defend against if need be."

37

[deleted] t1_j252p33 wrote

[removed]

12

TheFreebooter t1_j25c8fi wrote

If the burrito didn't work they had a few hundred tons of meth to dish out

8

AdWise638 t1_j2886r0 wrote

This has to be one of the funniest out of context comments Ive ever seen. I cant even know the source since its deleted

3

NewspaperElegant t1_j26ca0w wrote

Airend`2fn blinked over and over again as the SenseText reached them.

Blinking was, of course, was the coping strategy of lesser life forms.

But this news from Tellus -- why, it would make any carbon dweller blink.

They had told themselves repeatedly when they took the post --

It's just for a few centuries.

It's an appendage onto the ladder!

But every time they thought there was nothing that could shock them anymore -- the residents of Tellus found something new.

"It's only one Tellus species," their comrade leader would click, trying to soothe them.

"Consider the noble dolphin. The dominance of this biped species, however repulsive, is less than a parsec. Soon enough, a more worthy and sightly genus will arise."

Airend`2fn hoped they'd be delivering reports on light beam refraction in the Magellanic Cloud far before the octopi replaced homo erectus.

And in the present moment, writing up reports about the antics of Tellus -- from their intentional decimation of their biosphere to the astoundingly disproportion of resource allocation -- wore on Airend`2fn.

They liked to think it would wear on any self respecting Galactic Cadre.

Still, they had to admit -- since becoming a monitor for Tellus, they had much better stories at parties.

12

AutoModerator t1_j23u3os wrote

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See Reality Fiction and Simple Prompts for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

Aldurfel t1_j24a7fn wrote

Lol, imagine being human, can't be me... oops.

3