Lucielle's a sweet girl, but she's got no sense when it comes to choosing good life partners. Which is why her mother ordered me to watch over her when she moved to Boston. Life as a pet ain't bad - you get free room and board, and all the head scratches you could ask for.

For the most part, the people she brought back weren't disastrously terrible. There was Mitchell the non-committal, Elaine with the emotional baggage, Terrence the two-timer, and so on.

Not disastrously terrible, like I said. Just your typical run-of-the-mill, 20th century dating-app terrible. And generally, a good bout of hissing and scratching was enough to drive them away.

But when she brought Darren home, I knew I would be in for a challenge. He seemed like a perfectly nice, well-adjusted, individual. Still, something seemed....wrong.

Of course, I communicated my objections in the most polite manner.

That is, by knocking his glasses out of her 10th-floor apartment unit, doing my business in his shoes, and throwing up all over his laptop.

He was no normal adversary, though. Instead, he calmly wiped my puke off his laptop, retrieved his (unbroken!) glasses, and went shopping.

"Those old shoes were getting pretty worn out after all," he said as he sent a mocking smile in my direction. "I've got to thank Mittens for giving me an excuse to buy a new pair."

"Thanks for understanding," Lucielle gushed. "Mittens always gets jealous when I bring someone new home. Most people get scared off, but I'm glad you're sticking around."

Clearly, mere annoyances were not enough to chase off Darren. I escalated my strategies. Hissing, clawing, biting - however, he always seemed to be able to evade my attacks with supernatural speed.

But one day, I got him - and I pinpointed what was setting my fur on edge.

Darren bled silver.

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/r/theBasiliskWrites