ACK! ACK! I dropped a fresh clump of wet hair ball on his foot.

"No! Judy No!" Amber shooed me away, I hissed and sauntered off. "I'm so sorry, she's not normally like this." No Amber, don't apologise to this schmuck. I climbed the coffee table and sat myself. I tucked my front paws in between my hind legs and wrapped my long luscious tail around me.

"I'll go get some kitchen towel" Amber began to stand up. " Bad kitty. No kibble for you". You can't reprimand me Amber. You and I know who really runs this house. Amber went to the kitchen leaving me and the human male alone. He smelled like he took a dive in a pool of axe body spray. He smelled like he was hiding something. His hair was pulled black and slick. He looked like he shaved with a butter knife. He wore a black turtle neck that was clearly too tight for his growing belly and a sports jacket that was a size too small. The button on his pants was struggling to keep his gut in, it won't take much for that thing to go ballistic.

He pulled his jacket around him and reached for his pocket. He pulled out a phone and began tapping on it. I don't understand the human's fascination with the phones. Amber would look up pictures of cats on it which is ridiculous. Why look up pictures of cat when I am here?

"You want anything to drink?" Why are you offering him drinks? Get him out!

"Sure. What do you have?"

"I have some beer and Pepsi"

"I'll have the beer"

"Beer?" Amber called out from the kitchen. " Aren't you driving?"

"Ahhh... It's just beer. I'll be alright" What a pathetic human. Oh Amber, why do you have such poor taste. Let me pick out your mates next time.

Amber came out from the kitchen with some kitchen towel and two cans. "Here's your beer" the man took the beer that Amber handed to him without looking up from his phone. He didn't even say thank you. What a specimen of chivalry. Amber crouched down and began to wipe down his foot trying to clean the sick from his crusty sock. The sad excuse for a male just sat back and tapped away on his phone. Why are you doing this Amber? This male can't protect you, he can't provide for you.

I jumped down from the table and pounced on his foot. He didn't even flinched. I batted away Amber's hand as she kept wiping down his crusty sock. "No, Judy! Go away!" Me? Go away? Sure I'll go away but don't let me tell you I said so the next time you're curled up in bed a mess cuddling up to me like how you ended up with the last three human males. They all smell the same and this one does too. I want to see you happy Amber but you keep being home jerks that will only hurt you.This apartment can only have one jerk and that's me.