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My owner is rather crazy. Their mating partner had a beast for a pet. It was tall, fat, and had voids in its fur. The sound it made was as loud as thunder. No it was thunder itself. Its cold dead eyes stared at me now. Thunder streaming out of its mouth. I was now squeezing in to the farthest corner away from the beast, awaiting death at its sharp teeth that could probably cut through my cage. I’ve seen it eat what I think was bones of it’s enemies. I had heard myths when I was in the shop of a thing called a dog. Now what stood before me was it the beast a dog. Shortly there after I heard the mating partner come stomping down the stairs. She too had a void instead of the protective fur that humans can take off. She was skinny and ugly. She said “ Aww, Max you can’t play with the Gina.” In a cute voice. She was even crazier than my owner. She owned the dog. She pet it. She said you can’t play. When the beast wanted to eat me and chew on my bones. She was the one who gave the beast its bones. Ever since she moved in I haven’t gotten out of my cage. I was trapped in a smaller cage then what a used to have. In a house with the beast. Sorry if its bad it is my first time commenting on this subreddi.

Don't apologize! This has some really fun ideas. Is the pet a bird?

Lucielle's a sweet girl, but she's got no sense when it comes to choosing good life partners. Which is why her mother ordered me to watch over her when she moved to Boston. Life as a pet ain't bad - you get free room and board, and all the head scratches you could ask for.

For the most part, the people she brought back weren't disastrously terrible. There was Mitchell the non-committal, Elaine with the emotional baggage, Terrence the two-timer, and so on.

Not disastrously terrible, like I said. Just your typical run-of-the-mill, 20th century dating-app terrible. And generally, a good bout of hissing and scratching was enough to drive them away.

But when she brought Darren home, I knew I would be in for a challenge. He seemed like a perfectly nice, well-adjusted, individual. Still, something seemed....wrong.

Of course, I communicated my objections in the most polite manner.

That is, by knocking his glasses out of her 10th-floor apartment unit, doing my business in his shoes, and throwing up all over his laptop.

He was no normal adversary, though. Instead, he calmly wiped my puke off his laptop, retrieved his (unbroken!) glasses, and went shopping.

"Those old shoes were getting pretty worn out after all," he said as he sent a mocking smile in my direction. "I've got to thank Mittens for giving me an excuse to buy a new pair."

"Thanks for understanding," Lucielle gushed. "Mittens always gets jealous when I bring someone new home. Most people get scared off, but I'm glad you're sticking around."

Clearly, mere annoyances were not enough to chase off Darren. I escalated my strategies. Hissing, clawing, biting - however, he always seemed to be able to evade my attacks with supernatural speed.

But one day, I got him - and I pinpointed what was setting my fur on edge.

Darren bled silver.

---

/r/theBasiliskWrites

No a guinea pig.

ACK! ACK! I dropped a fresh clump of wet hair ball on his foot.

"No! Judy No!" Amber shooed me away, I hissed and sauntered off. "I'm so sorry, she's not normally like this." No Amber, don't apologise to this schmuck. I climbed the coffee table and sat myself. I tucked my front paws in between my hind legs and wrapped my long luscious tail around me.

"I'll go get some kitchen towel" Amber began to stand up. " Bad kitty. No kibble for you". You can't reprimand me Amber. You and I know who really runs this house. Amber went to the kitchen leaving me and the human male alone. He smelled like he took a dive in a pool of axe body spray. He smelled like he was hiding something. His hair was pulled black and slick. He looked like he shaved with a butter knife. He wore a black turtle neck that was clearly too tight for his growing belly and a sports jacket that was a size too small. The button on his pants was struggling to keep his gut in, it won't take much for that thing to go ballistic.

He pulled his jacket around him and reached for his pocket. He pulled out a phone and began tapping on it. I don't understand the human's fascination with the phones. Amber would look up pictures of cats on it which is ridiculous. Why look up pictures of cat when I am here?

"You want anything to drink?" Why are you offering him drinks? Get him out!

"Sure. What do you have?"

"I have some beer and Pepsi"

"I'll have the beer"

"Beer?" Amber called out from the kitchen. " Aren't you driving?"

"Ahhh... It's just beer. I'll be alright" What a pathetic human. Oh Amber, why do you have such poor taste. Let me pick out your mates next time.

Amber came out from the kitchen with some kitchen towel and two cans. "Here's your beer" the man took the beer that Amber handed to him without looking up from his phone. He didn't even say thank you. What a specimen of chivalry. Amber crouched down and began to wipe down his foot trying to clean the sick from his crusty sock. The sad excuse for a male just sat back and tapped away on his phone. Why are you doing this Amber? This male can't protect you, he can't provide for you.

I jumped down from the table and pounced on his foot. He didn't even flinched. I batted away Amber's hand as she kept wiping down his crusty sock. "No, Judy! Go away!" Me? Go away? Sure I'll go away but don't let me tell you I said so the next time you're curled up in bed a mess cuddling up to me like how you ended up with the last three human males. They all smell the same and this one does too. I want to see you happy Amber but you keep being home jerks that will only hurt you.This apartment can only have one jerk and that's me.

Oooh. Cats always know, don't they?

Did he die?

Poor guinea pig

I know I feel bad for it