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“Babe! It’s starting!” I plopped down on the couch as my wife rushed into the room. It was Sunday, and our weekly tradition was about to begin.

“Good evening,” a sweet baritone voice rang out from the TV. “I’m Bill Owens, and tonight we have a special historical edition of 60 Minutes.”

“A historical edition?!” my wife giggled with glee.

“Shhh! I can’t hear Bill.” I shot back.

Bill Owens took a seat in that famous chair and stared directly into the camera, “Murder. A secret society. War. Sex. Cake…” He paused for dramatic effect. “The Cake Wars of the 1700s plunged Europe into chaos…”

My wife interjected, “Did he say cake?”

“Shh!”

“… A young queen, torn down in her prime; the architect. Despite her impending death, her words activated the Red Velvets. A secret society of bakers, sworn to overthrow the stability of Europe. Their sweet tidings were anything but, as Europe was plunged into a new dark age.”

Bill took a deep breath and shuddered, “That’s right. Marie Antoinette, the infamous Queen of France, was responsible for the deaths of millions. The Red Velvets activated by her words many loathe to repeat…”

Bill stood up from the chair and looked into the camera, “… Let them eat cake. Tonight, on 60 minutes.”

My wife’s eyes widened, “Woah.”

I nodded, “Crazy right? I told you it would be a good one. Pass the popcorn.”

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