I was the last human on Earth. This is what I think happened. Nuclear War ravaged our planet, destroyed every city, every town, every man woman and child. But not me. See, I was an astronaut. I was slowly descending from space, and barely avoided the barrage of nukes set off by every country. I landed near where Australia should have been, but found myself in an ocean with no Australia. The ship that was supposed to pick me up was nearby, and still moving. The people on board that ship were well alive, but as it got closer I could tell something weird was happening. All of a sudden, the ship burst into flames. The crew had fought each other to the death, so I figured. The boat blew up in front of my eyes. One man had managed to get aboard the life boat, a roughly twenty foot fishing vessel, but by the time I reached that boat, he had succumbed to his injuries. Anyways, decades later, after traveling the world alone and desperate to find another singular being, I was sleeping in a cabin in the Rocky Mountains. A cabin I claimed as my own. The town outside had been full of bodies, decomposing and rotting before I got there. I buried as many as I could find. Men, women, children. Their pets too. Most animals had also died in the great explosion. I truly was the last human on Earth. I enjoyed my life, growing my own food, living off the land. The winters weren't so bad either. No companies to turn off my power, no need to use electricity. Besides the occasional repair tool, that is. A life of solitude and peace. Until that night about twenty years ago. As I slept, a loud humming noise came from the sky, waking me up. Startled, I ran outside. "Is it a car?" I thought out loud. Then, a light shined down on me from the night Colorado sky. Several figures appeared, almost as if they teleported right in front of me. They saw the town I had lived in and maintained. I couldn't understand them, but it seemed they were impressed. Next, they motioned me to follow them into their ship. I went, having no other choice and no way to defend myself from these figures from space. They gave me what seemed to be a weapon of sorts, wanting to see what I'd do. I accidentally broke it half with almost zero effort. They looked shocked, and impressed. One made me lie down, and used some sort of laser to pull my blood without even using a needle. Then they showed me the way out, and left. It was once again just me on Earth, until about five years from then. The aliens had returned. This time, they opened their doors wide. It was like watching a football stadiums roof opening, except it was a door. Excited, they led me towards their ship. When I arrived, I saw many humans. I was skeptical, for I had flown all over the world looking for life, and had found none. But here they all were. I went to greet them, only they didn't understand me. The aliens pointed them towards the town, and pointed at me. When they pointed at me, all of the almost 400 humans bowed towards me. Then, the aliens were gone again. Like magic, just disappeared without a trace. The humans came to me, speaking a language I knew nothing of. It sounded like the language the aliens had spoken. Then I noticed something disturbing. All of the males looked like me. All of the women had the same face as well, but not mine. I shouted above the crowd "Does anyone here speak English?" The crowd parted like the Red Sea, and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen stepped forwards. "Hello, I'm Gerry, the original human these women are based on. You must be Archer. I've heard about you, from the alien host." Shocked, I just stood there. She shouted to the aliens in the alien language, before turning to me to say "I told them this is their home too. They will learn to live as you have, and they have been instructed to procreate." I finally was able to speak, and I said "Oh good Lord the last thing we need is humanity on this planet again. Look what happened before, nothing good can come of this!" Laughing, she turned towards me and said "Oh, how wrong you will be."

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And that kids is how I met your mother.