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I was the last human on Earth. This is what I think happened. Nuclear War ravaged our planet, destroyed every city, every town, every man woman and child. But not me. See, I was an astronaut. I was slowly descending from space, and barely avoided the barrage of nukes set off by every country. I landed near where Australia should have been, but found myself in an ocean with no Australia. The ship that was supposed to pick me up was nearby, and still moving. The people on board that ship were well alive, but as it got closer I could tell something weird was happening. All of a sudden, the ship burst into flames. The crew had fought each other to the death, so I figured. The boat blew up in front of my eyes. One man had managed to get aboard the life boat, a roughly twenty foot fishing vessel, but by the time I reached that boat, he had succumbed to his injuries. Anyways, decades later, after traveling the world alone and desperate to find another singular being, I was sleeping in a cabin in the Rocky Mountains. A cabin I claimed as my own. The town outside had been full of bodies, decomposing and rotting before I got there. I buried as many as I could find. Men, women, children. Their pets too. Most animals had also died in the great explosion. I truly was the last human on Earth. I enjoyed my life, growing my own food, living off the land. The winters weren't so bad either. No companies to turn off my power, no need to use electricity. Besides the occasional repair tool, that is. A life of solitude and peace. Until that night about twenty years ago. As I slept, a loud humming noise came from the sky, waking me up. Startled, I ran outside. "Is it a car?" I thought out loud. Then, a light shined down on me from the night Colorado sky. Several figures appeared, almost as if they teleported right in front of me. They saw the town I had lived in and maintained. I couldn't understand them, but it seemed they were impressed. Next, they motioned me to follow them into their ship. I went, having no other choice and no way to defend myself from these figures from space. They gave me what seemed to be a weapon of sorts, wanting to see what I'd do. I accidentally broke it half with almost zero effort. They looked shocked, and impressed. One made me lie down, and used some sort of laser to pull my blood without even using a needle. Then they showed me the way out, and left. It was once again just me on Earth, until about five years from then. The aliens had returned. This time, they opened their doors wide. It was like watching a football stadiums roof opening, except it was a door. Excited, they led me towards their ship. When I arrived, I saw many humans. I was skeptical, for I had flown all over the world looking for life, and had found none. But here they all were. I went to greet them, only they didn't understand me. The aliens pointed them towards the town, and pointed at me. When they pointed at me, all of the almost 400 humans bowed towards me. Then, the aliens were gone again. Like magic, just disappeared without a trace. The humans came to me, speaking a language I knew nothing of. It sounded like the language the aliens had spoken. Then I noticed something disturbing. All of the males looked like me. All of the women had the same face as well, but not mine. I shouted above the crowd "Does anyone here speak English?" The crowd parted like the Red Sea, and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen stepped forwards. "Hello, I'm Gerry, the original human these women are based on. You must be Archer. I've heard about you, from the alien host." Shocked, I just stood there. She shouted to the aliens in the alien language, before turning to me to say "I told them this is their home too. They will learn to live as you have, and they have been instructed to procreate." I finally was able to speak, and I said "Oh good Lord the last thing we need is humanity on this planet again. Look what happened before, nothing good can come of this!" Laughing, she turned towards me and said "Oh, how wrong you will be."

​

And that kids is how I met your mother.

Nice! I like the simplicity of it. I would suggest splitting it up, its a bit of a block. but overall really good!

Pt. 1

Here I was standing on this desolate planet alone, disappointed that I wasn’t dead yet. I lived a quite and depressing life of simplistic mediocrity were nothing ever happened. It wasn’t even so bad that it was interesting it’s just that you could write down all thirty years of my life down in a paragraph. I wandered around the desolate city I once lived in, ravaged by war and natural disasters I was the only person left on this shitty planet.

Eventually I sat down at a diner I would go to every day. I ordered the same thing, a well done burger with onions and mustard with a side of thin cut fries. Add in a vanilla milkshake and that was my lunch since I was in my early twenties. I sat there for what must have been an hour on those bar chairs when I heard something I hasn’t heard before. The roar of engines Burt’s through the air and I hid behind the bar looking out the windows.

Outside a medium sized space craft landed right in the middle of the street. A orb like drone popped out and began scanning the environment as it floated around emitting a low hum. After a few minutes of scanning around it it popped back into the craft and a pressurized door opened. Two creatures vaguely humanoid with three muscular legs and short stout bodes in modern style armor entered the street.

They only seemed to be three feet tall as they set something on their gauntlets which turned into the equivalent of a sub machine gun. The taller one also had what looked like a blade on its hip. I hid from them as I heard them step closer into the dinner. Their armored footsteps crunching the broken glass beneath them which they looked at inquisitively.

I tucked myself into one of the cupboards and closed the door behind me. I could hear their footsteps growing closer as I held my breath as the door opened. They pointed their gun at me and I raised my hands in surrender. Apparently that sign isn’t universal as the loud sound of firearms echoed through the room. I saw my life flash before my eyes but…I wasn’t dead. It hurt like I was being shot by a pellet gun but none of their shots broke the skin.

I banged my forehead on the cupboard as I crawled out of it while the solider kept shooting at me with no affect until he landed a few shots on my neck. That certainly left a mark and I charged the solider and tackled it. As soon as I had wrapped my arms around it I heard a crunch of the armor bending under my weight. As soon as we hit the ground I felt the creatures whole body squish like one of those yoghurt tubes.

I got off of it and was worried for a moment that I might have actually just killed it when I saw from the corner of my eye the other solider aim their gun at me and begin firing. I charged it again and managed to grab the firearm out of its hands without any issue. Before I could turn the gun on it I felt the gun crinkle and deform under my grip and threw the ruined the firearm to the side.

The solider unsheathed their blade so I picked up a nearby chair for some kind of defense. As it took a swing at me I swung the chair and not only dented the blade but deformed it into a sad looking “U”. It dropped the useless blade and ram back into its ship and flew away. I returned back to the solider I had tackled who was just as deformed looking as the sword was and looked like I had just stepped on a snail with its beige body leaking out from the change in pressure.

Soon enough a dozen or so more soldiers in similar uniforms showed up and fired at me on sight. I charged them as the hail of slightly painful bbs hit me and haymakered a soldiers head clean off. I felt like a super human as they started backing off but still trying to take me down. I kept coming after them again and again killing them in different ways. One I kicked their legs off and curb stomped them, Pile drivers, RKO’s, And Bane Knee slamming people in half.

They started switching to darts coated with something that I believed to be some kind of tranquilizer. Either way my adrenaline was pumping and whatever they were doing just wasn’t working. Their armor did nothing to stop me and their fire arms had zero stopping power against me. For the first time in my life I was unstoppable.

Pt. 2

As I stood in the street covered with some kind of black and beige goo waiting for more challengers a drone popped out and displayed a hologram of a figure similar in stature to the others. It stood formally on its three legs and a had a long beige almost fish like face with four slitted emerald eyes. “I believe the translation nanites are functioning?” It asked expectantly in a AI default style voice.

I nodded with a very confused look on my face, not really sure what this was about. “We are the Granar people of Marturus.” It looked at me proudly like I was supposed to know who that was. “We did not intend on any hostilities with your people, our initial scans of this deathworld did not reveal your species”.

I sighed “Well your scans are correct at least, I’m the only one of my species left. Everyone else has destroyed themselves in war or was destroyed by the world itself.”

“So this wasn’t a deathworld for very long then? This apocalypse has happened recently?”

“No no, this has been an ongoing event throughout our long history. We destroyed ourselves in an effort to advance even further beyond. I know that there are others of my kind out there in the stars somewhere but they were sent on a one way trip. I’m the last one here.”

“Well…” the alien bowed their head in reverence. “…Your planet is one of the greatest death world planets that has ever been discovered to have intelligent life. The radiation, the heat, the cold, the gravity, the terrible conditions, how did your people survive it?”

“Well we endured. One of the things about my people is that, we just don’t give up. Some of us see a impossible challenge and work towards it just because it was thought to be impossible, or too dangerous. Sure a lot of people might die in the process but we constantly learn and adapt.”

“Well if you wouldn’t mind…perhaps your people don’t have to go extinct. Perhaps, you don’t have to be the last human on earth.”

My ears perked up “ What do you mean by that?”

“Well, our species has developed cloning technology. We can alter and edit a genome of a creature to be as good as it can get. We are out our evolutionary apex yet, you a simple human best us unequivocally. If you let us clone you and develop your genome, you could be the forerunner of your species, the direct descendent from which all humans from now on will descend from.”

For the first time I was given a shot toward greatness. My species as a whole depends completely upon my decision right here, right now. “I accept your offer, but there’s a lot of things I have to tell you about humans”.

My partnership with the Granar began. There were a lot of problems due to the incredible diversity of humans as a baseline. Humans are very original and creative and voraciously horny. There were incredible disagreements, differing ideals, and mindsets. With our help the Granar built a galactic empire which we stood at the right hand of.

Humans become the forefront of the galaxy and were considered to be one of the greatest species of the modern times. Our power intellectually and physically was unmatched and I got to be the father of it all. Anti aging technology is only so power, and you can only hold on for so long before you loose your grip on life.

I died happy, knowing that I went from a nobody to one of the greatest humans in modern history.

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