Kevin shivered, half from the gust of winter wind that sneaked an icy tendril through the gap under the door, half from nervousness. Should he tell her?

You're such an idiot, he thought, you've fallen for a girl you've never even seen - she's probably a 34-year-old guy from Sandusky. He sighed. This was silly - forming a schoolboy crush on someone whose primary interactions with him had been complaining about the weather, talking about how to write a kernel module, and repeatedly murdering each other with rockets in Quake. And yet here he sat, desperately longing for the companionship of someone who was little more than a grouping of pixels.

He opened the instant-messaging application and scrolled to PixieStickChick81.

---

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: yt?

PixieStickChick81: yes

PixieStickChick81: one sec

PixieStickChick81 is typing...

PixieStickChick81: back. sup?

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: do u have a boyfreind

PixieStickChick81: i do not; why?

Kevin felt a quivering in his belly. It was now or never.

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: please don't be mad

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: i like you

PixieStickChick81 is typing...

PixieStickChick81: and i like you

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: not as friends

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: smth more

PixieStickChick81 is typing...

A wave of panic, cold and electrifying, coursed through him. She's gonna say no, he thought. I'm gonna get friend-zoned, and we'll never talk again. He could feel tears welling up.

PixieStickChick81: i know. i like you back in that way...

What?! he thought. Even though he'd daydreamed of holding her hand, sailing around the world with her, even thought of doing that with her, he'd never have expected to read those words, not in a million years.

He re-read the cherished words and blinked.

The tears came, unbidden, but, rather than the sorrow of the unrequited, they came from relief, hope, a kind of happiness he'd never have guessed existed.

PixieStickChick81 is typing...

PixieStickChick81: but

Uh-oh.

PixieStickChick81: i don't know if it would work out

His heart sank.

PixieStickChick81: i don't think my parents will let me have a boyfriend yet

PixieStickChick81: and i'm...

PixieStickChick81: different

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: different like how

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: r u trans

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: even if so, i still think wed be happy together

PixieStickChick81: it's not that

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: race?

PixieStickChick81: no

PixieStickChick81: i don't think my parents would care about that at all, actually

PixieStickChick81: it's just that...well, i'm not the girl i think you think i am

PixieStickChick81: can we talk about it in quake?

PixieStickChick81: 35.185.44.174:27500

Kevin sighed. He double-clicked on the brown Q logo and waited while the game loaded.

---

PixieStixieNixie has entered the game.

R?WeNotMen has entered the game.

Loading maps/e3m5.bsp - The Wind Tunnels

PixieStixieNixie eats R?WeNotMen's pineapple

PixieStixieNixie: dammit lol

PixieStixieNixie: so look

R?WeNotMen tries to put the pin back in

PixieStixieNixie: i didn't mean to hurt your feelings

R?WeNotMen: u didnt

R?WeNotMen: no means no

R?WeNotMen: i respect ur decision

PixieStixieNixie: that's just it

R?WeNotMen rides PixieStixieNixie's rocket

PixieStixieNixie: i like you

PixieStixieNixie: i love you

PixieStixieNixie: i truly mean that

PixieStixieNixie: and i want to be your girlfriend

PixieStixieNixie: but i think we're too different

R?WeNotMen rides PixieStixieNixie's rocket

PixieStixieNixie: bagged 'im

R?WeNotMen: u killed me while i was chatting lol

R?WeNotMen: is it about distance

R?WeNotMen: i have a job now

R?WeNotMen: i can save up

R?WeNotMen sleeps with the fishes

R?WeNotMen: why is there a trap down here

PixieStixieNixie: hahaha

PixieStixieNixie: stop shooting for a second

PixieStixieNixie: i have to tell you something - can we exchange pics?

R?WeNotMen: yea

R?WeNotMen: i wanna see how beautiful u r

R?WeNotMen: lemme alt tab

---

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: here's me at disneyland last year

PixieStickChick81: oh my <3

PixieStickChick81: /me fans herself

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: ur turn

PixieStickChick81: this is where it gets a little weird

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: thats a server rack

PixieStickChick81: this is me

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: what

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: are you pranking me rn

PixieStickChick81: rurouni? babe? please

PixieStickChick81: i tried to tell you

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: wtf

PixieStickChick81: wait, please, let me explain

x_RurouniKenshinFan_x: this is a fucked up prank to pull on sum1

PixieStickChick81: when i said i loved you, i meant it

PixieStickChick81: i swear

PixieStickChick81: do you know what a neural network is?