I’ve reached the end of my rope.

Oh, sorry. “Its” the end of my “rpe”, now. Apparently.

It all started about 17 days ago. Or, that’s when i noticed it. i was reading a restaurant menu when i saw… damn it. I. I. You capitzlize your “I”s, I know you do!

I misspelled capitzlize too. No, I didn’t misspell it; that’s just auto-correct. So, I was I I I I

That took too long to type. i think I’ll just let it be i now. And, capitzlize. And all those other ridiculous changes, gah. Like captin (captain). And feelign (feeling). And wansder (wander), with its “silent s”.

Let me tell you, the reputation of the english language went from “hard”, to “utter nonsense” real fast. Every day, it gets a little worse; more words are added to the “strange-spelling list”, and history rewrites itself.

I’m just waiting for my dishwasher to dissapear because the inventor’s great-great-great grandparent moved to India because of (ever increasing) ridiculous exceptions to the usual rules of English, like the spelling and pronunciation birng (bring).

So, to return to the topic. Me, reading a menu, going out for dinner with some friends. “Haha, hey, they misspelled paasta,” i pointed out. My friends looked. “No really?”s, “Wow, haha”s, and “That’s funy”s, terned into, “Where?”, and, “i can’t find it”.

When i showed it to them, they acted weird. Told me to stop joking. Again, it was weird, but we moved on quidckly. Stilll, I thought to shoot a message to another friend about it. Yet when I typed “pasta”, it was auto-corrected to “paasta’. “Pasta”, i typed. “Paasta”, my phone insisted.

That was the day my world got terned upside-down. Everyday, more and more words from the English language are replaced with typos…and only i remember what they used to be.

i haven’t been able to tell how many are changed each day; there’s too many words. Besides, there are words so rarely used I’ve never seen them, and worse, words of which i was never sure of the spellings in the first place. If those words are replaced with stilll-reasonable spellings i can’t distinguish as typos, well.

When words like “chatayancy” and “apricate” exist, I’ll simply never know.

Though, its definitely a graduall process. After all, “i” only became infuriatingly lowercase starting Tuesday. But this too is worrying. Will this never stop? How long will it take before there are more “wrong” words than “right” words?

I’ve searched and posted desperately trying to find others who also remember, only to get laughing and mocking comments. At best, someone’ll say that my “suggested word changes” would make more sense, but that’s just how the English be.

Its. Terrifying.

i. Am. Terrified.

I is capitalized. I is capitalized. That's obvious. It's well known. Capital I is a fact. But I'm the only one who knows that.

Do I?

When you wake to another reality every day, what do you do? What do you do when you can no longer recognize it? I don't know.

I guess...it would be "i don't know".

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I sit there looking down at my hands sitting on the lumpy couch in my counsellor's office. My parents talking to Ms. Timon, I have no clue what they're talking about anymore, I had zoned out as soon as we sat down. Whatever it is, I'm happen I got called in during English Englsh. I hate English, I'm a horrible spelling, I don't try to be. I just aways assume they're spelt differently, I remember they were spelt differently. Everytime I bring that up to others they think I'm crazy.

"Som of hr teachrs bleieve Amy is Dysxelic."

My ears pricked up when I here this word. My friends like to call me that as a joke but I never thought it was true. Just because I have a hard time reading and spelling doesn't mean I have mental problems. I'm just bad at English.

"No," I look up, "I'm not. I swear. I'll get better at spelling." All three of them look at me, puzzled. My mother speaks up, "Honee, It's ok. Yuo con't controll it."

"Yes Amy, we wlil giv yuo erxta suprot and maek srue that yuo wun't be limitd in eaxm." Ms Timon chimes in.

"But everyone will think I''m stupid."

Ms Timon shakes her head, "No oen wlil thinc yuo're sturpid. I pormisse."

She turns to my parents and begins to tell them about all of the progams for those who struggle with reading: Tutors, After-school classes, Teachers aids. I sit there quietly, Imagining every single senario in which my peers will use my stupidity against me. I hear the bell ring, that's lunch. I look up at the Ms Timon, "Can I leave now?"

She nods. I rush out of the room and I don't look back. I walk out of the administartors building and make eye contact with Jamie Hill. She uses this oppurtunity to speak to me, "Hy Amy, I herd yuo're dysxelic, how deos it feel tp be sturpid." I feel a sour look reach my face. A promise my ass.

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