Part 2

"So the cuckoo attacked some people and I kid you not, he hammered some of theminto the ground" The officer, who had watched the video more than a dozentimes already glanced at the pits in the floor. It took them many hair dryersto remove those unlucky souls.

The turtle spins straight at the mouse. However last second the mouse kicks the turtle. The Officer was pretty sure many prestigious soccer clubs would love to sign a contract with this mouse. Redirected the turtle hits the cuckoo that was pecking its latest victim. Feathers. Everywhere.The officer looked up. On Hunters left shoulder was his so-called feathered friend that barely concealed its bottom half with feathers it collected of the ground. 

"And here is the banana peel again. Let me get this straight. The mouse slipped and used the overabundant energy to run up the wall." "Exactly. And as a patron saw the mouse, they ditched the anvil. Which resulted inanother hole." Another hole. True, there was a hole even before the turtle dropped. “Mr. Scherer was aware of the mouse infestation. He insisted, that the cat, anotherhealth and safety risk I might add, was enough to deal with it.”

Rewind. The turtle collides with the cuckoo and comes to a halt. An old lady who is way too focused on the music her Walkman is playing stumbles over the turtle shell. She races straightagainst the gym doors which offer no resistance. They fly open and the lady falls down the stairs. “I don’t want to say ‘told you so’-“ “-but you warned Mr. Scherer of placing the door right in front of the staircase.” The officer’s head began to hurt. He would have to work overtime to include everything thatwas wrong with this case.

“And the first hole was…” The Officer starts the record again “… created by a piano. How ironic.” “Despite my best efforts the gym owner insisted that the glass floor could hold the piano.Who could have foreseen, that one of the people pecked by the cuckoo was an opera singer. Her screeching reached heights I didn’t know humans were capable of. The floor could hold piano but coupled with her voice it was too much. Fortunately, only the part where the piano was placed collapsed, instead of the whole second floor.” “Which resulted into Mr. Scherer’s current condition.” “To save some room he tore down the walls to the storage room. That is why the janitors kept their tools in that corner. Mr. Scherer didn’t mind his steps and unintentionally stepped on a rake. The screaming and the loss of his valuable piano was too much for him. He went for the emergency exit. You know? The one door that is blocked by janitor utensils. This is so dangerous and illegal, but nobody ever asks the health and safety officer.” Hunter turned his head towards his boss who was still out cold, after the rake hit hishead.

“When his shady neighbour, whom Mr. Scherer hired to cut the tree in front of the gym, something long overdue as it was just a matter of months until this rotten old tree would snap and slam into this building, saw how Mr. Scherer went down, he yelled something along the line of ‘ain’t do no work for  dead men’, packed up and left.” But Mr. Scherer wasn’t dead. Just unconscious. “That is why the half cut tree collapsed” The officer watched the part again, where amidst the chaos and panic a tree hits through the window.

The dog gets scared by the tree and starts to run, dragging the table where its owner bound the leash with it. Clank. Everything that was on the table was now scattered on the floor. Only because he watched this video so many times he caught a glimpse of the mouse trying to steal some of the food that just dropped. The cat immediately jumps up and chases the mouse. The tree had hit a pipe as it destroyed the wall. A pipe that was already old. Something Hunter remarked many loops ago. The dog obviously scared by the mouse proceeds to retreat onto a chair. Pause.

“Am I free to go Officer?” The Officer sighs. Incredibly no one was hurt badly. Even the old lady landed without evena scratch. “Yea. I will make sure Mr. Scherer receives a fine for this… mess. Some gym members already voiced they might sue, but this shouldn’t concern you.” Just before Hunter stepped out of the door the officer raised his voice again. “Hunter? Do me a favour and take a few days off before you go job hunting again.This is already the third chain of mishaps that involves you this year. And it is still january. I am done with writing unbelievable reports.” Hunter grinned. “Almost as if a god had his hands in it.”

The unknown treadmill runner sat in a pub. It was already late so the only other person there was the barkeeper when Hunter entered. “You look terrible. Here, I already ordered a beer for you. And let me help you fix your hair” Thebarkeeper put another beer on the table. “It was to be expected that something was bound to happen if no one ever listens to me. Iam the safety and health officer after all, Dave.” “Sure. You always have the greatest ideas. Remember the black hole one? I might try it outone day…”