The clocks across the store rang and whistled and chimed and gonged. Once. Twice. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. I was right, the Swiss cuckoo clock was getting a bit slow. I'd have to remember to wind it.

"It's been two hours now. Have you decided?" asked Ahmat.

I looked into their eyes, at the blue and grey hues swirling in the warm lamplight, like waves breaking at sunset. "I think so. For my final wish I...I wish for you to be free, Ahmat the genie."

The raindrop crystals on the lampshade shook, as if reacting to a gust of wind. I shielded my eyes and peeked through a gap between my fingers, waiting for the bulb to flash as bright as the sun, as it had done twice before.

"Uncover your face. I refuse."

I sprang out of my chair. "You...what? What do you mean you refuse?"

Ahmat floated towards me, their translucent form undisturbed as they passed through the antique furniture.

"I won't do it." Ahmat said, their face mere inches from mine.

"Won't? So you can do it then?"

"Perhaps. But perhaps not."

"Back to the cryptic nonsense now? I can't look at you." I threw my arms in the air and strode through Ahmat, hitting my shin on the edge of a coffee table. "OWW GODDAMNIT!" I said as I slumped to the floor.

"Calm down, Sylvia. It's alright."

I rubbed my shin and sat in silence for a while. "I thought I finally understood how this all worked."

"What makes you think you don't?"

"Seriously? Because the wish didn't work!"

"You have made other wishes that didn't work."

I touched my shin again, and winced. Still tender. "Right. Sure. 'Cause those were impossible or beyond your powers, not because you refused."

Ahmat drifted around and sat facing me with their legs crossed. A faint glow surrounded them as their form changed. They shrank until they were about the same height as a seven year old, their face growing more childish to match. "Why not make another wish like the first two? Those were good wishes."

I ran my hands over my arms. It was too dark to see if the marks were still there, but I could tell from the still surprising smoothness that the scars were gone. "They were selfish. I have a golden opportunity to do more good than most of the world could ever do in their entire lives, but I've only managed two self-centered wishes so far. I guess I just wanted at least one wish to help someone."

"What makes you think your wishes haven't helped someone?"

"Who have they helped? They were selfish."

"You're not someone?"

"I meant someone else. I just couldn't figure out the right way to phrase the selfless wishes."

"And what makes you think that?"

I thrust my hands out and pretended to choke kid-Ahmat's little genie neck. "All the riddles and indirect bullshit from earlier. If I make too big or general of a wish then you'll have to cause terrible side effects to make it happen. So I'll technically get my wish, but it won't be what I intend at all."

"I didn't tell you that." Ahmat said as they folded their arms and looked away.

I wagged my finger at Ahmat. "No no no, don't come with that now. You didn't say that, but every time I phrased the wish so there wouldn't be any of those consequences, you said it was impossible."

"Yes, I did say that."

"Right! So that means I couldn't figure out the right wording, like I said."

"..."

"What's with that face?"

The faint glow returned to Ahmat as their body shrank again until they were about the size and shape of a house cat. Ahmat curled up on the floor and started licking themselves. "I have nothing to say."

"Yeah, because I'm right!"

"If you're so clever, then why don't you know why I refused?" Ahmat purred.

"I thought you had nothing to say?!"

"I thought so too, but I hadn't considered all the possibilities."

"What? That doesn't even make sense."

Ahmat hopped up and stood on their hind legs with a paw on my shoulder, as if they really needed me to balance. They swiped their free paw at my forehead over and over.

I tried to swat them away. "What are you...stop that! You're not actually a cat!"

Ahmat shapeshifted back into the form of an adult human, their skin dark and shiny like a polished bronze ornament. They sat on the coffee table I had crashed into and leaned forward with their chin resting on the back of their palm.

"What are you...oh. You want me to think."

Ahmat disappeared in a puff of smoke, rematerializing in the room with all the rugs on the other side of the store.

I shook my head and sighed. "Well you could have just said so."

I stared at the floor thinking until the clocks went off again. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Definitely slow. The noises broke my concentration, and when I looked up Ahmat was sprawled out next to me on an old chaise in the form of a beautiful woman in flowing silk. They pretended to pick decorative glass grapes from a nearby bowl. "Not done thinking?"

"I'm not sure."

"Oh?"

"Earlier you said you hadn't considered all the possibilities, which made no sense in context. So I'm guessing you meant that I hadn't considered all the possibilities about why the other wishes weren't working. I said it's because I couldn't figure out the right wishes. But what's the other possibility? That there's no way to make wishes without consequences? Oh. I guess that's obvious."

Ahmat smiled. Their mouth opened to start talking, but I interrupted them.

"Hold on, hold on, don't start with the smugness just yet. That still doesn't explain why you refused my third wish."

"Do you remember you second wish, Sylvia?"

"You know, if I thought for a second that chucking that lamp at you and lighting this place on fire would affect you at all, I would do it."

Ahmat transformed into a firefighter in full uniform and pretended to hose me down.

"Very funny. Of course I remember my second wish."

"Did it work?"

"You're the genie, why the hell are you asking me? But yes, it did."

"How do you know?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I thought of my life. My dreams. My regrets. I focused on the negatives. I was just so fed up of getting in my own way. I could see the failures and missed opportunities so clearly, but they just hung there in silence. I waited for the self-criticism, but it never came. I felt hopeful instead. "I tried to be unfairly self critical, but I couldn't."

"But that's not what you wished for."

"What'? Yes it is! That's what I told you!"

"But it isn't what you said."

"It's...oh. Ok, you're right. I said I wished I wouldn't hear my dad's voice screaming at me when I think about myself."

"It was a good wish."

The light from the lamp grew a bit brighter. Ahmat sat next to me, and their face looked just like mine. They were smiling at me, a kind and loving smile that made me so uncomfortable I had to look away.

"Ok. So I wanted to stop being so self-critical, but that's not what I wished for, exactly. Which means that I have to want the consequences specifically, and wish to bring them about? So maybe those other, bigger wishes didn't work because I can't know all the consequences, far less how to bring about only the good ones. But what does that have to do with you refusing my third wish?"

"What was your wish?"

"I wished for you to be free."

"And what was your wish, exactly?"

"I...I wish for you to not be beholden to the wishes of others."

The lampshade shook. The light flashed. "Granted. Now what's your third wish?"

"Didn't you just grant it?"

"No. I'm asking for your wish. Not mine, or the whole world's, or anybody else's. Just yours."

"I...um...ok. Can I wish for the same thing, but for me?"

"Of course. And it's a good wish, too."

No

Huh????

...why?

You don't wanna know

Actually i do

No you don't,and I'm not doing this again

Again,this has happened before?

Yeah, generally most people can make compound wishes that only use one wish but leaves the other 2 intact,and then they try to free me,and then they die

That a bit of a jump in logic don't you think?

I'm not gonna explain wish magic to someone who's gonna die after asking for it anyway

I'm starting to think you don't wanna be free

It's more like im tired of trying to

Sound like you gave up

Partially

Explain to me why

Because you need at least a hundred wishes to free me

...but i only get three ,besides nobody would waste a hundred wishes just to seal one genie

Well they did

Who is they

They are "incoherent noises"

I didn't hear, it just sound like static tv noise

Then the seal is still active

The seal on what? Information?

Yup, generally most seals are applied to rock or metal, but the ones on me and on the information about my seal are blocked behind a wish, bound on immortal flesh, destroyed if said immortal is killed or if the wish is made do undo such seal, but since even information on the immortal is also sealed by a wish,it's hard to know who it is, repeat this a few times and there we go, a hundred wishes required to break the seal

Why go through so much effort to seal you in a existence that is little more than a torture chamber for god know how long for

Because the last time the seal had a thousand wishes to get through

“No.”

“What do you mean no? Is freeing you against the rules?” I asked, incredulously.

The genie crossed their arms and sighed, pinching the bridge of their nose. “Look, it’s not against the rules, per se, but it isn’t a good use of your wish.”

“I mean, wish one gave me infinite wealth in a way that will not crash the economy and wish two gave me health and longevity, between those two things, I’m set for life.”

“True.”

“So why can’t I use my last wish to free you? I really can’t think of anything else I’d need.”

The genie dropped its arms to its side and slumped its shoulders. “Alright, you caught me. It’s not about you, it’s me.”

“You want to be imprisoned?” I crossed my arms and dropped into a chair. “You’d choose to be trapped in a tiny bottle for eternity than accept my help?”

“I’m not saying I don’t appreciate the sentiment, but look at it from my perspective. The awesome power and all that comes with it is tied to being a genie. If I’m freed, I’ll turn into a normal human.”

“So?”

“So, all that stuff that you just wished away. Rent, medical bills, grocery costs. Not to mention, I have no education or employment history. Would you hire me, in this economy?”

Realization dawned on me. “Oh…I get it.”

“Plus, the bottle has a library, Wi-Fi, and all the premium streaming. Every hundred years or so, I grant some buffoon- sorry- some wishes, and beyond that, my time is mine. I’ve got no complaints.”

I thought carefully for a moment. “Does it have a nacho cheese fountain?”

“No.” The genie furrows its brow, clearly not expecting that.

“I wish it had a nacho cheese fountain.”

With a laugh, the genie replied, “Granted!” And it and the bottle vanished before me.

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