“No.”

“What do you mean no? Is freeing you against the rules?” I asked, incredulously.

The genie crossed their arms and sighed, pinching the bridge of their nose. “Look, it’s not against the rules, per se, but it isn’t a good use of your wish.”

“I mean, wish one gave me infinite wealth in a way that will not crash the economy and wish two gave me health and longevity, between those two things, I’m set for life.”

“True.”

“So why can’t I use my last wish to free you? I really can’t think of anything else I’d need.”

The genie dropped its arms to its side and slumped its shoulders. “Alright, you caught me. It’s not about you, it’s me.”

“You want to be imprisoned?” I crossed my arms and dropped into a chair. “You’d choose to be trapped in a tiny bottle for eternity than accept my help?”

“I’m not saying I don’t appreciate the sentiment, but look at it from my perspective. The awesome power and all that comes with it is tied to being a genie. If I’m freed, I’ll turn into a normal human.”

“So?”

“So, all that stuff that you just wished away. Rent, medical bills, grocery costs. Not to mention, I have no education or employment history. Would you hire me, in this economy?”

Realization dawned on me. “Oh…I get it.”

“Plus, the bottle has a library, Wi-Fi, and all the premium streaming. Every hundred years or so, I grant some buffoon- sorry- some wishes, and beyond that, my time is mine. I’ve got no complaints.”

I thought carefully for a moment. “Does it have a nacho cheese fountain?”

“No.” The genie furrows its brow, clearly not expecting that.

“I wish it had a nacho cheese fountain.”

With a laugh, the genie replied, “Granted!” And it and the bottle vanished before me.