I can fly!...an inch off the ground.

I can teleport!...vertically.

I have invincibility!...in my right leg.

I can carry incredibly heavy loads!...but only if they fit in this tiny backpack.

I have access to hammerspace!...but the items contained within don't get lighter.

Sigh

I've purchased these powers and items over the course of thirty years. They're my world's equivalent of penny stocks. Nobody actually wants them, but they sound great on paper. Of course, no one actually advertises the drawbacks; that's for the buyer to find out.

I bought each thing with great expectations, only to be let down each time. I sigh as I analyze my newest purchase, the small hammerspace chest that seems to weigh as much as a bus. It's sitting on a shelf here at the Super Store.

Just as I'm trying to figure out how to drag it home, the shelf breaks. Somehow out of instinct, I duck forward, rather than jumping away. (I never had great instincts.) But, as I brace my muscles for the impact that's sure to come, all I hear and feel is a small plop as the chest falls into my backpack.

I felt that. I know that I did. But, that can't be right. That tiny hammerspace chest weighs a ton. Literally! I should've been crushed just now.

I shuffle a bit on my feet, and I hear the chest clicking inside my backpack. My eyes nearly pop out of my head as I begin to realize what just happened.

I've created a BAG OF HOLDING! Not only that, but the things I've accumulated can COMBINE!?

I rush out of the store, and race to a nearby park. I need to know if the other things can combine as well! I take off my backpack but leave the chest inside it. I then put my hand inside the bag, and inside the chest, and I begin rummaging. Apparently whoever previously owned this chest must've stuffed it full. No wonder it was so heavy! I lay the various items on the ground and analyze them. Too many things to list individually. But there's all sorts of weapons, shields, amulets, etc., and it looks like they can combine, too! I put a fire amulet with a basic steel sword...a flaming sword! How has literally no one done this before!?

I put everything away, deciding that a public park probably isn't the best place to experiment with all this stuff. I pick up my Bag of Holding, which is still light as a feather.

Next, the fun part. I teleport 10 feet into the air, then fall. I deliberately land on my invincible leg, and it drives a foot-shaped hole into the dirt. I get a huge grin. I teleport 15 feet up, and when I'm 5 feet off the ground, I teleport again, coming out sideways. My momentum changes my direction, and I "fly" one inch off the ground about 100 yards in just a few seconds.

My grin gets bigger. I repeat the teleport/teleport/glide function a few times, until I'm outside of town, near an abandoned building that's scheduled for demolition next week. I teleport 20 feet into the air, then drop 15 feet, then teleport sideways. But this time, I extend my invincible leg as I glide on the other, and I break down the door of the abandoned building.

Ohhhhhhhhh... THIS IS GONNA BE FUUUUUUUUUUUN!