Welcome to your first day at school. Here you will learn how to be proper gods to the planet assigned to you after your graduation. My name is Mr. Wibawa and I am the headmaster of this prestigious institution.

It really makes me proud to see the faces of the future deities. Every year it's exciting to see the next generation. And Dave. This school will help you develop a sense of responsibilty, teach you how to use your powers properly and of curse show you how to take care of your planet.

Most of you will graduate at the end of the year. You are gods after all. You are omiscient and omnipotent. Well, most of you. We will help you to develop some commomsense. Don't worry. For some it may take a bit longer, but our graduate who took the longest yet, did it after two years. That's perfectly fine.

Ahem, as you may be aware of the incident three years ago. I am obligated to remind you of Amemdment #5327. Many of you are still very young and eager to achieve great deeds and while I highly compliment this spirit, no one is allowed to seed lifeless planets with life. None of you are authorised or qualified for terraforming until your graduation. Especially not you, Dave. Just as a reminder. Not every planet is suitable for living creatures. It takes meticulous planning to prepare a planet. While lifeforms sure need to struggle a bit, so they remember to worship us, it is not reasonable to plant humans without any adjustment of their biology onto an ice planet. With no resources other than ice. That poor fella Gautama is working overtime to save the people. Many of you prefer to govern human or humanlike species as they are the easiest to plant. But remember those are really frail.

I also remind you of the edit of Amemdment #5327 that was added two years ago. Seeding lifeless planets with life is prohibited. This includes moons too. This is just a gentle reminder, that many species need oxygen. Which most moons don't provide. We had to evacuate a whole moon. This wrecked the 5 millenia plans many gods have had for their planets as the sudden overpopulation was more than their systems could handle. Also, if you seed life after your graduation, remember to give them space to move. It is not desireble to Cover every inch of a moon with sentient species, Dave.

Lastly I am sure you all are aware of the incident last year, which led to another adjustment of Amemdment #5327. No seeding any celestial object if you are not qualified yet. We all felt a great disturbance, as if billions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. Seriously Dave, how did you and what possessed you to seed a star???

Amendment #5327 is going to need A LOT more updates with Dave around!

________

The Federation introduced Amendment #5327 around 200 years ago which was simultaneously praised and criticised. Bringing life to planets not yet capable of hosting a thriving ecosystem was, obviously, not ideal. Needing even to add this as a law was originally deemed moronic. The Federation didn't account for Dave.

It's not clear what Dave really is. We know it's a very old alien, and it's claimed to be from many different species, which it obviously isn't. Whatever Dave is, the species seems to be somehow immortal or has an extremely long lifespan. And an unfortunately twisted sense of humour.

Once Amendment #5327 was published, Dave became almost obsessed with breaking it in as many ways as possible.

Dave moved on from lifeless planets and started seeding other celestial objects instead. Covering moons with different lifeforms, Dave filled them with simple life from a range of life-friendly worlds. Plant spores from the earliest land plants to evolve and all kinds of microorganisms. While most life died off, there was some success!

A few moons did seem habitable to certain early life forms, but eventually, The Federation found out and was quite upset for some reason.

Amendment #5327 was updated to include moons.

Since moons were now banned, Dave looked elsewhere. Asteroids were a little unreliable, but a few species still could survive on them. Comets were more complicated, and Dave needed to do more research into them.

While stars should have been impossible to seed with life, Dave found one species that would thrive inside their cores! The unusual little microorganism would consume hydrogen as a food source. This was great news for Dave. Terrible news for the other planets in that solar system, though. Turns out the microorganisms made the star unstable, and well... a planet-wide evacuation was needed.

Amendment #5327 was updated again to include stars and any other celestial object.

Dave is still pretty busy these days.

The Federation forgot to include star clusters, nebulas, quasars, pulsars, black holes and dark matter!

Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See Reality Fiction and Simple Prompts for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

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