Stupid. I had been so..completely…utterly….ridiculously…..stupid.

A group of five dark figures surrounded where I had been tied to a chair. They wore basic red devil masks that they had probably found at their local Halloween store. Probably 50% off considering how long ago Halloween was. I was in the center of a room positioned under the only source of light, a flickering industrial-looking fluorescent bar that was hanging above me. The masked presences did little to concern me, although they were trying their best with intimating stances and weaponry such as a crowbar. What damage could they really do though, as I was already beating myself up more then they were about to.

I mean, truly, what kind of hero turns their back to an unobstructed fire escape just to freaking eat lunch. ‘Death by bologna sandwich’ was not going to look good on my gravestone.

Just as I was about to accept my impending doom at the hands of a bunch of Darth Maul-looking motherfuckers, a savior appeared! Barreling through the door behind the group, another masked figure slammed into the closest Darth Maul who was reeled back to strike me with his barbed wire-wrapped bat. Hoorah! A brawl began in front of me, and I was finally able to catch a glimpse of the person that had saved me and my eyeball from death at the hands of a Negan-wannabe. Black cape…black boots…shiny purple shirt- wait. That was no savior. That was my nemesis, who had by now defeated all my kidnappers, leaving them in a bloody heap on the ground. A black mask turned to look at me, and I could have sworn that it upturned to a hint of a smile.

“What? You didn’t seriously think I would let anyone but myself be the one to kill you, did you?”

It was then I realized that I had not, in fact, escaped death today.