"What do you mean about the fertility thing?" I asked, mentally kicking myself even as I did so, "I mean I know I don't go on a lot of dates and I haven't got any kids but it's totally in my life plan, I think. And the dates thing is looking up, I'm actually meant to be seeing someone tonight which reall-"
She cut me off.
"Not your fertility. Hers."
The woman pointed outside my kitchen window and I gazed out to see what random woman I'd apparently managed to block the fertility of. To my surprise and slight amusement there were no women out there at all but there was one very loved but rather dimwitted cat.
"I'm not allowed salt... because I got my cat fixed?" I asked, desparately trying not to laugh.
"Fixed??" the goddess bellowed, "She was perfect and you-"
I cut her off without thinking.
"Yeah, sorry. I mispoke. It's just we don't have room or money for any kittens. And I wouldn't want pets I can't look after. I didn't mean to upset you, I didn't even know you existed. It's just that I really love Tosspot and so I took her to the vet to check she was healthy and I got her... spayed so that there wouldn't be anymore strays. She was sad
when I met her. I don't want there to be other sad cats."
Outside, Tosspot raced along the fence and leapt down out of sight.
"It was a gift." the salt/fetility goddess said quietly.
"I understand. It just wasn't a gift that was useful to us. I'm sorry."
My eyes darted to the clock without thinking. My date would be coming in half an hour. It was ridiculous in some ways that in the midst of all of this craziness I was calculating if I was still going to have time to prepare the food before she arrived but I guess I really liked her. Either that or human brains really, really don't know how to cope with events that are this surreal.
"So." I said after a while, "What happens now? I didn't mean to reject your gift. I'm a huge fan of kittens when there's space for them and fertility in general, I guess. Not that I've thought about it... but I wouldn't be here if you weren't out there giving gifts to people. Salt's great too so good job on that. Is there some way this can turn out that actually everything's good between us?"
"You didn't know who I was."
"No." I admitted. "But I appreciated you without knowing you were there.A lot of people probably do. And I am sorry. I meant no offense and if I'd had a chance to talk to you then I'd have been able to explain things before I offended you."
"You wish more opportunity to talk with me?"
Oh. Not really.
"Sure. If that'll make things clearer between us."
"Then we shall speak again." The woman said and just like that the whole process reversed itself.
The goddess turned back into a tall stack of salt and then that salt leapt from whereshe'd stood back onto the counter, diminishing itself as it did so. The container was broken by the explosion but a small pile of saltformed where it had stood. I stepped closer and examined it warily.
It seemed to be normal salt though. It didn't move and there was nothing to it butshiny white granules. Even so, I watched it out of the corner of my eye as I cooked. I could have thrown it away but somehow I knew that my new friend would know if I did so. So I cooked the recipe as intended and when the time came, I added salt to a dish for the first time in years.
Just a pinch.