[removed]

[removed]

You already do. Anything with mass (actually, anything with a stress-energy, which doesn't even require mass) bends spacetime and creates a gravitational field. If you were as heavy and dense as a black hole, well, you'd be a black hole

How fast you're spinning and your electrical and magnetic(?) charges might be enough to make you identifiably unique from a different black hole of the same mass, right?

Black holes with the same mass can differ in their electric charge and spin, yes. In practice the electric charge is negligible because anything else would be balanced by infalling matter soon.

What makes you think blackholes are tense? They seem pretty chill to me.

Technically everything bends the fabric of spacetime, but unless your density is a lot higher than any known person the effect is trivial compared to larger gravity fields around you, and time does not slow enough to be remotely noticeable.

[removed]