Submitted by ryann_flood t3_10ugtcw in baltimore
I downloaded bumble friends but didn't find it to be very helpful. I also have meetup but the groups usually seem a little big for meeting friends by myself. Anyone have any recommendations on where I should look? I participate in two Volo groups but the friends I've made are flakey when it comes to plans. If he willing to try out a new one, I currently am on a bowling team and a pickleball team.
Oh nice, girls get that too. A lotttt of “totally straight” females on bumble friends, just without the sucking dick part.
Thanks. I'll keep check meetup to see if anything interesting comes up I'll give one of the events a shot and see how it goes. Yea the bumble thing felt very odd to me
Try joining the Charm City Social Club. It's one of the bigger groups and has events fairly often.
You into music or anything like that?
I am yea I listen to a lot of music.
Play a lot of video games, interested in books. Willing to try plenty of things
what kinda music do you like
Hip hop and indie rock for the most part. I listen to a lot of albums it's how I spend a lot of my free time from all different genres.
What’s a Volo group?
Volo is a company that hosts team sports
I'm from around here so didn't have the issue in Baltimore but I struggled similarly in other cities when I moved a bit in my 20's. I'm in my early 30's now gahh lol so maybe it's changed but from having done Volo leagues and different group events throughout my twenties, was pretty much out at the bars every weekend all weekend etc..... my take is that most neighborhoods in Baltimore aren't very "transplanty" and people have known each other for a looooong time, so depending on the Volo team you get put on, or the different events you do, even if people are friendly it can be hard to tap into a friend group that is already so established. Not that people aren't looking for new friends per se, but with people now being of working age, dating, etc. you don't have as much time as you did in college and it's hard enough to see the people you already know let alone make an entire new friend from scratch. It's a lot easier to just keep hanging with the people you already know and maybe meet some new friends through friends of friends.
All of that to say is making friends is haaard sometimes, and also really sucks to not have a solid group of friends set up. I also had the problem of going from a place like Baltimore where I knew 100000 people to knowing 0 and it was hard not to get discourged/internalize it. Particularly when you are the person on the outside who doesn't know anyone, it can feel weird to always be reaching out to the same person or two you may meet on a volo league who already has an established friend group - but don't internalize it like I did lol, it's not your fault or anything to do with you if that makes sense. My times were before the friend/dating apps though so the DL people on bumble is a new one for me lol no advice on that one.
The things that ended up working for me though were finding groups for different hobbies that I'm really engaged in. Whereas the volo leagues are more just a way to be social - finding Facebook groups or spaces where people are more consistently involved it's easier to get involved. Like if you like volleyball, Baltimore Beach in fed hill/the harbor has pick up league hours every weekend spring-fall. You can just hop on and start playing, you'll start seeing the same people every weekend and then can inch in that way. I saw you said you like reading, there are lots of book clubs you can find where people meet each week for drinks/food to discuss books etc.
tl;dr: don't get discouraged, making friends is harder than people make it out to be especially in a city like Baltimore and can make you feel shitty. It's not you though. Social leagues can be hit or miss, but finding groups dedicated to a specific hobby you like is what worked for me.
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P.S. just saw your comment about the music you like. Look up the upcoming shows for venues like 8x10; soundstage; rams head; ottobar; union craft brewing and i'll go with ya. First ticket is on me. (also i'm a guy but I promise i'm not secretely trying to have sex with you LOL)
Hey dude thanks so much for your comment. Yea it is hard, I have made friends through the leagues we've joined but it's just like you said where it's impossible to get them to do something on the weekends. I will keep trying I definitely think a book club or something like that will be nice most of them that I've seen lately are on zoom though which is fine but I'm looking to do things in person rather than online. I'll keep looking for book groups though because that sounds really fun.
I actually had a harder time making friends in college (I graduated last spring) so I'm really going all out to make friends now that the group I defaulted to in college isn't in Baltimore anymore.
Going to a concert sounds like fun I really appreciate the offer! I like most music so if there is something that your interested in going to see I would gladly come. Thanks so much for the advice, same as you I really miss having things to do on the weekends and going out drinking, so hopefully I'll find a group who wants to do something.
sounds good! let me look for some shows and I'll get back to you. For book clubs and stuff, join some different neighborhood facebook groups and search the posts in there for "book club" and you'll see a bunch. Here's one in Canton. https://www.facebook.com/groups/2057227774499294/ that reads books on the NY best seller list and meets for beers to discuss. And then the Baltimore Social Issue's Book club is pretty active as well and reads a lot of Baltimore focused books (i think). https://www.facebook.com/groups/2905597476423634/
Another option I forgot about....I don't know what your schedule is like but if you can swing a part time gig at a bar or restaurant, you'll make life long friends in about .5 seconds ha. I still have friends now from places I worked at 12 years ago. And never hurts to make a little extra money on the side.
There is a group that weeds/cleans up streets in Canton, a group that magnet-fishes metal from the harbor, volunteer at your local food pantry, there are book clubs, game nights at the game store in Canton, more volo leagues (keep trying!). The more you put yourself out there the better your chances of finding people to hang with. It’s not the easiest thing to do, but don’t give up!
What kinds of things do you like to do? I go out by myself all the time and make new friends when I'm out. Now when I walk into a regular place I like to go, I often see someone I've met before.
Wow that's nice I would say I'm good at making friends and could get along with most people but I'm definitely not as confident as you. I like sports, music, reading, video games. I can find something to relate with with most people, I guess I've just had trouble finding a mid sized group to go out with.
If I waited for a mid sized group to go out with, I'd rarely end up going out haha. If you like music, I recommend hitting up open mics and karaoke bars. They're very social environments and it's easy to chat with strangers there compared to a standard bar.
Sports is another one that can be a social environment, typically in a bar setting again. And you're already doing Volo which is another good sports social activity. I'm not sure about video games, but No Land Beyond can be great for joining a group to play with at their Thursday events (https://www.nolandbaltimore.com/events). I think they actually have a biweekly Smash Bros Melee tournament that meets again this Thursday too.
I'm working on my social skills still tbh. I'm confident enough to go out alone, sometimes I meet people and end up exchanging numbers and seeing them again. Other times I don't really chat with anyone.
> video games
Getting into tabletop could be an option, there's a cool tabletop gaming bar called No Land Beyond. I haven't done it in Baltimore (not really room for it now that I have a kid) but when I got into competitive card-gaming in the Denver area a pretty tight crew formed over the years.
If the BMore people are like the the Denver people this won't get you a crew that will want to all go out in Federal Hill and try and pick up women if that is your goal. And just generally it is a bad idea to treat a gaming group as a dating pool, it never goes well. But tabletop games will have tournaments and stuff on weekends and you'll probably meet some people down to go to music shows or do outdoorsy stuff, if your goal is to make friends for its own sake rather than as a kind of prereq for getting your dating life going.
I have a girlfriend so no worries about a dating pool. I don't feel any need to go to fed hill so that's okay with me, I'm just looking for people to have some drinks with went to a lot of fed hill bars in college and it's impossible to hear anybody at them so I wasn't a fan.
Outdorsey stuff is probably the one thing I wouldn't want to with people as I'm not a fan of hikes. I will look into tabletop gaming though I've always wanted to get more into it and it could be a fun way to make friends.
Fed Hill has a lot of cool spots, I'm in my thirties and go out there all the time. I wouldn't write it off so quickly.
True I won't write it off I'm sure it's got a lot of great spots
pinball league @ holy frijoles, Wednesdays @ 7:30
Killbot_Wants_Hug t1_j7d41ch wrote
Meetups are what I did. Don't worry if there are a lot of people going, people tend to break into smaller groups to hold conversations.
Don't do the local r4r, it's just people who want to bang. Actually that's why I don't really try to make male friends off reddit any more. Too many "hey, I'm totally straight too, you seem really cool, maybe we can hang out, if the vibe is good we could try sucking each other's dicks to see what that's like" bullshit messages.
If you're a drinker, the city has a ton of social events that involve the bar scene.