Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

Tecumseh119 t1_jdqp7qx wrote

Usher it back out the door, so it can fulfill its natural urge to run under your feet, when you’re walking home drunk at night..

149

Longey13 t1_jdqr03y wrote

Gently place it in front of the wheel of a motor vehicle, roll the vehicle forward, backwards, and repeat until sufficiently squished.

3

FrankieHellis t1_jdqvfrn wrote

Torch the entire dwelling.
He is a she and she laid eggs. (Was in an Twilight Zone episode once).

2

md9918 t1_jdqywn0 wrote

Make it pay half the rent and utilities

59

Wilmore99 t1_jdr254l wrote

Make a small obstacle course with paper clips, number 2 pencils, etc. and play Entry of the Gladiators. Optionally have a notepad and stopwatch handy for your findings.

4

clrlmiller t1_jdr3fny wrote

Assuming you're looking to rid your house of the little f**kers. So, google "advion cockroach gel bait" and put a thin line of the stuff in every crack and crevice of your kitchen and other places you've seen them.

I fought a two year battle to purge my house of the little shits after some dirty neighbors moved next door to my rowhouse and brought 'em in their moving boxes. This stuff finally did the trick of eliminating 'em once and for all. I took about two weeks and in eight years they haven't come back.

4

keyjan t1_jdr6a4i wrote

Scoop it up in a cup or something and toss it outside. Looks like a water beetle or something. Not a roach.

8

JKnott1 t1_jdr7xws wrote

Burn the house down and move to another city.

9

boofoodoo t1_jdr8wm4 wrote

I kill them. Unfortunately for them they are too revolting to live with and must die.

1

OcelotControl78 t1_jdrb7mx wrote

Replying to FrankieHellis (#2,370,343)

This is not a German roach. This is an outdoor roach that will quickly die inside a house b/c there isn't sufficient humidity/water sources. If you so have an infestation of these inside your house, it means you have a serious water issue.

5

spirilis t1_jdrbj8c wrote

If they show up often, be sure to thoroughly clean your floors. They leave pheremones behind in their wake that informs others to come around.

2

OcelotControl78 t1_jdrbkcm wrote

Free cat toy. It will die soon without intervention even without a cat. They don't live long indoors.

2

saltyjohnson t1_jdre4le wrote

Throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato... Baby, you got a stew goin!

11

YorickTheCat t1_jdrge16 wrote

Toss it outside to live another day. Beetles always get a pass.

12

very-good-dog t1_jdrhr4s wrote

Replying to clrlmiller (#2,372,478)

im pretty sure its a water scavenger beetle. they eat mosquito larvae when they are young, and water invertebrates when they are adults. overall they are beneficial to water ecosystems. i would put them outside because if theyre in your home, they are definetly lost. they arent common household pests

7

kongjie t1_jdrpsgm wrote

Roast it and make baba ganoush.

4

jbroombroom t1_jds03a2 wrote

Call the towing company to come truck it away for illegal parking.

1

kayla_kitty82 t1_jdsget2 wrote

Omg!! I had one of those alien bugs in my office building at work.. I offered to torch the building but we figured my boss wouldn't understand so we left it for the cleaning crew to handle .

1

Joe_Wer t1_jdsk2au wrote

Practice my curbstomping skills

1

GeekInSheiksClothing t1_jdslq5l wrote

Beetles I can deal with. It's the palmetto bugs that always scare the crap outta me. Baltimorians call em "water bugs". More like giant cockroach look alike. At least they don't fly.

1

brownbuttanoods7 t1_jdszhdo wrote

As my dad would say "it's just a water bug". Scoop it out or brush it out the door.

2

Intelligent-Dig4852 t1_jdt88mv wrote

Replying to spirilis (#2,372,366)

Oh come TF on! Pheromones… take the nightmare to the next level, why don’t you! No one is cleaning the freaking floor. We are pouring gasoline on the floor and burning the whole entire house down. Clean the floo… gif

1

moderndukes t1_jdtdd7i wrote

Behind the joke answers, might want to consider how humid your home is / if there are any water leaks

1

ChrystynaS t1_jdtdxmr wrote

Get my dad.

When I lived in the city I’d have one of these in my room a few times a week. I’d always get my dad. I hate water bugs.

1

Obasan123 t1_jdteoo8 wrote

Torch your house.

Helpful hint: If you live in a row house, it would be courteous to notify your neighbors before torching--at least the neighbor on each side. You do not require a permit from the city.

2

[deleted] t1_jdtrln5 wrote

The amount of MFs in here who can't tell a roach from a beetle...

2

tjo5112 t1_jdu2gxk wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#2,383,670)

Yeah, not a bright bunch.

But whether it's a beetle or Oriental/American roach really doesn't even matter. In both cases, they usually just wander in from outside. The only roaches that really infest in most cases are German roaches, which look nothing like this.

1