I just finished My Absolute Darling and I got things to say

Submitted by StardustAtSea t3_10tf46p in books

I just finished My Absolute Darling and I am broken. The moment I finished the first chapter I had this feeling in my gut that it would have me crying by the last page, and it did, but also cause it struck a real core with me, brought back memories from when I was just hitting puberty and doing shitty in school. I didn't even come close to a fraction of the hurt the main character goes through in this book in my actual life, but still I could emphitazies and relate to her so deeply. She is so well rounded in the way's she come up with excuses for her father as to why he does what he does and hurts her the way he does. Some people have said that the rape scene between her and her father is terrible because it's described in an almost romantic way but reading it I never felt that, it was written through her eyes and the way she sees her father is as this big hulking man whos small glimses of love outshines all the evil in him. In a part later after he helps soap in her hair she walks up to her room almost high with the "love" she feels for him. It's grooming, it's Stockholm syndrom, it's a girl who desperatelt wants love from her father, and like many victims who grows up in such an environment they don't always see how it's wrong. Some people have said that she is overly sexulazied, and I really have a hard time thinking of a single moment where that statement could be justified, because I don't think she is. The book is great in the way that it dosen't talk to you like you're stupid and tells you want to think, it's all through her eyes and we witness her journey of discovery through HER eyes. What you know and what you think about life is totally irrelevant to this girl who is simpley not there yet. Just because what you reads disgusts you dosen't mean that the writer is a dirtback for writing it, if you ask me he got the reaction out of you that he wanted. Like I read this right after Blood Meridian so my stomach had gotten used to depravity.

All the dialogue between her and her father is so realistic and tragic. The way we are put right in the conversation and can see the moments he changes from calm to fucking evil is masterful. I do think Brett and Jacob were way too over the top in the way they spoke. Much of the dialogue I thought was realistic in the way that good friends have their own lanuage and banter, even reminding me of how me and my brother talks, but when talking to Turtle I don't understand why they kept it up, like they were totatlly blind to her not at all being a part of their jokes. Their relationship also never really develops to a point where you think "okay, bim bam boom LOVE!" But I guess they don't have too, the plot of the book is her finding out there's more to life then her little house on the hill, and Jacob, Cayenne, Anna and others are the small epiphanies that wakes her up to the idear that she has to get out!

I love it, I cried over my life and her life. It does what a good book does, stabs you in the fucking heart, and gives you enough hope to say "Turtle, not today and not tomorrow but she's gonna be alright someday"

TLDR Great, great, great book. Sad, made me cry

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Comments

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Cleverusername531 t1_j76sqi9 wrote

Wow, wow. I’ve avoided this one for a while due to the subject matter but you’re making me think this could break open the grief for me that I cannot seem to let out.

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mywifemademegetthis t1_j77glfs wrote

This was the first book I read after finishing college and being done with school assigned readings. It’s a gem.

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Allredditorsarewomen t1_j78tblp wrote

I really hated this book, and felt it was voyeuristic and gross. From what you're saying here:

>Just because what you reads disgusts you dosen't mean that the writer is a dirtback for writing it, if you ask me he got the reaction out of you that he wanted.

I think you are missing some honest critique of the work as a whole and being dismissive of people who disagree with how you felt about it.

Edit: also if you or someone you love has experienced childhood sexual abuse, I would absolutely not recommend this.

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brigids_fire t1_j795un2 wrote

This book destroyed me but it was so bloody good! That ending broke my heart and made me cry and i loved the garden scene afterwards. Turtle was amazing. Her dad was pure pure evil and the lovebombing was awful. I agreed with you, i saw it as her grasping at straws and lying to herself until she couldnt anymore. It was a coping mechanism

Think im due a reread.

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StardustAtSea OP t1_j7a9b2c wrote

Replying to Allredditorsarewomen (#1,725,123)

I agree, it is voyeuristic, but what would be the altenative? If the invicible narriator stepped in to clarify the horribleness of the situation it would stop being from Turtle's perspective. It wouldn't be orfentic to the realness of the situation because the author knows that all that he describes is awful, and he knows that all of the people reading it thinks so too and that's the point. This is as normal to Turtle as having a stable family life is to so many others, and I think only by describing it as normal as possible we get that orfentic voyeuristic point of view that you get in real life, where you can point and criticize and know better than a broken person but it don't really mean a damn thing cause you ain't in it, and you can't sway a person to see their world in anyways different than they see if from their perspective, they have to learn that on their own, and that's what happens here. That's the magic of books, to see another life from a different soul, where their point of view matters more than your own. And I honestly think that the only way to write this book or any book is to write it voyeruristicly, we don't get the whole picture if a guy keeps pausing the emotions to confirm to us that this is indeed bad

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Allredditorsarewomen t1_j7bcev8 wrote

Replying to StardustAtSea (#1,727,539)

I don't think we're going to agree here, especially because we're coming at this from completely different places. I am not saying that a story like this shouldn't be told. I have definitely really liked books that feature CSA. But this one did not feel authentic to me (and many other people with experiences regarding CSA). The author is free to write about it - I am free to say I don't think the story should have been written like this or by him.

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StardustAtSea OP t1_j7ben0l wrote

Replying to Allredditorsarewomen (#1,728,945)

That's totally fair, like I'm no expert on what goes on in the mind of a child who's being abused (thank God) so it might be way off, but there were somethings in the book that Turtle went through that I could relate to so that he got right for me atleast. If that kinda stuff happend to you I'm so goddamn sorry

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