I used to go to a bookclub at the local library, and as a fellow social anxiety sufferer I can relate to stressing about it. In my case, I found this to be a pretty good set up. There was a clear "discussion leader" who kept the conversation going with questions and prompts, and I could eiter take part or just quietly observe if I had nothing to contribute.

Personally I found this a much less anxiety inducing situation than a less structured acquaintance based group, because there was less pressure for small talk and "normal" social interaction :D

Flows pretty easily with a big group. Just chime in your thoughts on whatever comes up, people are receptive. Good on you doing something out of your comfort zone/touching grass

The first rule about book club ...

It’s going to be fun and some one is going to compliment your top. Just talk about what you liked & disliked. Was there and symbolism? The book clubs I’ve been to usually involved a lot of wine.

I'm in two now, and I've been in others in the past.

In the two of that I'm part of right now, we take turns hosting in groups of 2-3 at someone's house. The hosts provide food and wine. We spend about 20 minutes talking about the book - sometimes more, sometimes less - and spend the rest of the time socializing.

I suspect a book club in a library will have less emphasis on food and socializing, and more book discussion. But no one will be quizzing you about how much you read or understood. It's generally all very lowkey. People are just there to have a nice time.

Since it’s through the library, there should be a librarian who acts as a leader and discussion guide. They should be keeping discussion on track and making sure everybody has a chance to share their thoughts. With 10 to 15 people, most of your time will just be listening to other people talk.

Your first meeting you will also get a sense of how seriously people take the reading. Are the discussion questions things like “What was your favorite part of the book?” or more in-depth and specific to the book like “What do you think Susan’s motivation for lying to Joe was? Why did she feel like she couldn’t tell him the truth?” That will help you know for future meetings, if your comments should be more generalized or more analytical.

In person book clubs are a lot of fun. It's weird walking into a room of people you don't know to talk about something intensely personal (your thoughts on what you read), so your nervousness is understandable. But do go. It will be interesting, and I think you'll be glad you went.

Usually starts with a blood sacrifice followed by a light snack

At my book club, we go around and each person gets a chance to say what they thought of the book. I'd suggest looking at your notes and listing out the things you want to say. You might even want to type things out on a page that you will just be reading from. I have social anxiety as well. I used to stumble over what I wanted to say when I was just trying to wing things with my comments.

My book club also has a dedicated researcher who looks up information about the book or the author. After we've gone around and given our opinion, the researcher shares what she's learned with us.

Then there is more of a period for open discussion regarding the book. The person who heads the book club often has a list of questions that she asks the group and whoever wants to can answer.

We're meeting on Zoom these days. The meeting typically lasts an hour and ends at this point. Before the pandemic, we used to meet at people's houses. When we did that, the hostess would serve food and drinks. Then there would be a period for people to just chat more openly. As somebody with social anxiety, that part was a little awkward for me. But it's a good opportunity to practice your socialization skills. People are usually pretty nice, and after you go a few times, you will start to get to know them.

Book club is actually an excellent way to practice socializing for people with social anxiety, because the onus of conversation is on someone else (the discussion leader), you can prepare your thoughts ahead of time, and everyone has a common interest and shared expectations. Each club is different, but in mine we don't force anyone to speak if they don't want to -- you can show up and just listen for 90 minutes without saying anything, if you want. You're going to have a great time!

If you want to talk about what you read like you have a voluntary english class, theyre great.

If you dont care for the book and dont know the people, they will probably be drab.

I run one with some old friends and we hard cap it at about 50-75 pages per week, and one hour per meeting (we do zoom so the time limit is less imposing on ones day) Plenty of time to discuss the book and shoot some shit.

Also they are always better with a little vino

What happens at book club stays at book club.

Nah just kidding. In my experience it differs. Some are super casual chatting about the book while snacking or drinking. Others are more "English class" approach to discuss themes, background, characters in more depth.

Copious consumption of box wine, ‘eh?

They make the new person take off all their clothes, stand in the middle of the circle and accurately quote parts of the book from memory. If you get the quote wrong, they throw angry ducks at you.

Or is that just my book club?? ;)

/s

You sit around and talk about the book. It's pretty chill. Sometimes certain people will monopolize the conversation, and sometimes there are heated debates, but usually it's just a bunch of people chatting. Even if you don't say much, it's fine. It's a pretty relaxed vibe.

I'd love to know how this went today! I love the question and hope it went well for you.

Everyone has really good answers! I'm in a four person book club at my local library (me, my best friend, and two librarians, we also met online), so it's probably a lot different than your meeting lol.

We're friends at this point, and the founding librarian of the group doesn't even work with that library now, so she's just a regular attendee.

But after we catch up on personal stuff, we chat about what we liked, disliked, other books/media it reminds us of, maybe some cultural or social aspects of the book (we read sci-fi & fantasy, with an emphasis on women, BIPOC, and queer authors/plots/characters, so we usually have something to say about how that works into the story).

I sometimes wish we had a little more structure, but I imagine your book club will have someone with some set questions to lead the discussion.

Hey! I also just had my very first in-person book club meeting and I also have social anxiety, so I understand how you're feeling right now. I just wanted to reassure you that going there is the hardest step, everything that comes after that is so much easier. And fun! I know it's REALLY tempting to bail and stay home, but you will be so happy after it's done, and each following meeting is going to be even easier.

In my irl BC, there's just four people, so in a way I felt even more pressure to talk. And since the BC was my idea in the first place, I also felt like I needed to be ready to completely lead the discussion. Both of those fears turned to be unfounded because we barely even needed any questions to guide the discussion. We just had so much to talk about and what was supposed to be an hour max turned into two, and we could have gone longer.

You can do this, OP!

First rule of book club is you don't talk about book club

Hope it went well. Ultimately, people are going there because they want to hear your thoughts cause other perspectives are interesting. Try not to think too hard (i know easier said than done) and share your honest thoughts! You'll be surprised to find you may click with unexpected people.

I’d love to know how it went and what you read, u/NRAAAE

I think the best approach is to come with some light notes or thoughts.

Some book clubs are really focused in on the book, others are more general.

I'd assume one in a library would be a little more likely to focus on the book.

My experience as someone who also has social anxiety has been very positive. Just remind yourself that you are there to have fun and learn.

It kind of depends. The dynamics of book clubs vary a lot.

Hopefully there's going to be a facilitator of some kind. They usually prepare some questions to help get everyone talking. My experience with library groups is usually someone from the library handles this.
If it's a fiction book things are usually a lot looser. You talk more about impressions, feelings, themes, likes and dislikes, things people appreciated about the characters, etc.

Non-fiction will usually be more about what people learned, how it compares with other things people have read on the topic or differences from preconceptions.

Usually there's a few people who are more likely to talk. With a library group I'm guessing there's a couple older people who go frequently and already know each other. They'll probably be more talkative.

But it's about as low stakes a social thing as you can get. You've got a topic, a mutual interest, and someone will almost certainly show up not having read the book, so you'll be more prepared than they are.

Depending on how social your group is or other connections you can go off on a lot of tangents.

I'm part of a book club that meets at a bar, it's a pretty relaxed atmosphere. The book club president usually posts questions the day before or day of in our FB group, and at just about every meeting, there is one person who has not finished the book but comes by anyway to see what others think. A few times, I have had to lead book club and I have been the person who has not finished the book lol. Our group is usually small enough that everyone has a chance to answer each question, usually 4-6 questions, and the number of people varies from 2 to 12.

You'll be fine, but if your anxiety is pretty bad, maybe pull the facilitator aside and mention it, and ask that they not call on you for an answer if that's how they run things.

I’m an introvert but I enjoyed book club. You’ll meet all types and everyone will have a different perspective which is fascinating. I got to read different books from my normal preference so that expanded my horizon.

Someone is usually the lead and has a list of questions to let everyone take turns to share their thoughts.

If it is first time, then prepare a short introduction for yourself. Most likely you will be asked to say something about yourself - 2-3 sentences, including who your favorite author is.

Second - you are not obligated to actively participate. First time in a group, it is always good to just observe and feel the vibe.

What happens in a book club - The organizer gives people a list of books to pick from, the group votes on it, and the designated book is chosen. Then you are supposed to read it and come for the next meeting where it will be discussed. Different book clubs may have variations of this procedure with differences.

Regardless of where, you only need to talk when/if you are comfortable. As you get to know people and opinions you will likely feel more comfortable to speak and speak at length of your interpretations however if you don’t know you can change book groups numerous times! At some point you will feel good enough to speak and be welcomed by your thoughts. Keep going until you do!

I lucked out my 1st one. It was an odd group of women but after 2 book we totally connected. 2nd was dreadful and the 3rd was just ok. You either meld or not. Don’t worry if you move one

Thank you for asking this! I am going to my first book club at my local book store tomorrow and am similarly anxious, especially since I'm very lukewarm on the book!

Two words:

Double fisting.

I find it helpful when I go to something like this a notebook with my thoughts and discussion questions were helpful because it help keep me on track.

I'm part of a club that reads a chapter every week and meets to discuss. Our club is small, and most of us are well read in this particular genre. We start by discussing general impressions, things we liked/disliked, before we move into discussing specific passages and the implications of them on the larger picture. Because most of us have read around quite extensively in the genre, the tail end of our conversations is almost always a comparison between our current book and how it measures up to other titles.

It's great you took notes, because this gives you something to bring up or talk about. If you ever find you don't know what you should be taking notes on, you can Google around and look for discussion questions for your book. A lot of popular titles have blogs where they have a few questions, or honestly if it's a classic, Sparknotes has a few discussion starters or entries on symbolism that may get you thinking.

Since it's a larger group, I bet they likely have someone who is going to start and steer the discussion. This might make it easier for you to contribute if it's more structured, and the amount of people is great because you'll get a lot of varied viewpoints that make it interesting. Don't panic if you don't immediately feel like you fit right in with the book club. Sometimes you have to go to a few meetings before you hit your stride and feel comfortable with the process and group.

In a group that large, there is probably no requirement to speak unless you want to, although groups vary.

Socially, if you keep attending, propinquity will likely help you become part of the group at a deeper level.

People discuss the book, but it can vary, whether people talk about plot or characterization, or whatever. If something surprised you, that can be a good thing to mention.

One person leads the discussion. They prepare questions or use the ones listed in the back of the book. Everyone goes around and talks if they have something to say.

Usually there's light refreshments or people bring stuff to share. Kind of depends on the location though, might not be allowed in the library.

At the beginning everyone might introduce themselves and there might be a break in the middle or at the end where people just chat.

I started in a book club last April (small group, like 10pax including me I think but we started off like 6pax) and some books have discussion questions so we use that

But if not, we just talk abt what issues/perspectives were discussed, the characters we loved/hated/identified with, etc. I didn't go for the previous session but apparently someone brought food, which is a plus. Haha.

It's not an "official" library one, just among friends, so we just do lunch then book club (casual, 2h tops) and yes sometimes as applicable I will just be like "hello I didn't finish the book but I read till page x and I will discuss/insert my opinions as relevant up to that stage"

HAHAHA. & (it will differ) but because it was meant to encourage reading and it was an initiative among personal friends, we set an agreement that books shld not exceed 350 pages. Which thrills me bc it automatically excludes Stephen King 😆😂 I refuse to read Stephen King 😆😂 too long, too creepy!

We're gna meet alternate monthly instead of monthly from April, which idk if it will lead some people to suggest longer books. Having said that I'm still not exceeding 500 pages if I had my way .. which still excludes Stephen King 😂😆

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I’m in the basement catching up on some TV series while hiding from my wife’s book club.

Well not hiding just away from the ladies.

At a book club my grandma was a member of, the theme was basically, "Books that have been made into movies." They'd watch the movie based on the book they'd read since the last meeting and then talk about the book. Then they'd vote on the next book they wanted to read. Can't tell you if that's typical for book clubs but that's what I'm familiar with.

I went to one. Mine would bring snacks centered around the book and then we would proceed to talk about the books and our feelings and what we thought about certain things in the book. Every now and again one of the authors would come and sign the books we had read. I was really anxious but excited and it turned out much more easy and comfortable then I thought

Drugs Alcohol and massive orgies

Like bruh it's a book club you read books and chat about them maybe have some snacks

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