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GrandMagnificent t1_jec3mb7 wrote

One of my favourite novels! I see what people mean about it hitting harder if you're a little older, but when I first read it in my early twenties I must've sat in silence with tears running down my face for a good ten to fifteen minutes after finishing it. I wasn't sobbing or anything, just spontaneous tears and a total lack of will to do anything but let the whole thing sink in, as though I were recalling my own life rather than the plot of a novel. Very few works have transported me so completely, before or since.

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BroncoAccountant OP t1_jec9man wrote

Did you think the main character Stoner was too passive? At times it drove me crazy, especially when it came to his daughter and wife. He had little small moments of triumph but man I wish he had more of a spine at times

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GrandMagnificent t1_jefl1cg wrote

I think that's what makes it so affecting. In some ways he's a man who'll pursue his own happiness at any cost, defying social expectations to pursue his passions both in academia and in his brief love affair. But he's also a kind man, in a way that's equal radical; he's surrounded by all kinds of devious, dissolute jerk-offs who take advantage of him, but there's a sense that he feels like a failure in so many ways. He's neither a dutiful child or a prestigious scholar, doesn't die heroically in war. He's as good of a husband as he can be, but never truly understands his wife and allows his child to become estranged from him - because whenever he pursues his own happiness the world throws it back in his face, and inertia begins to set in. By many measures he lives a full and happy life, but as readers we see all the missed opportunities for joy - and by association think about all the lives lived that never achieve their fill potential.

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BroncoAccountant OP t1_jefwhqe wrote

Very well said! I kept thinking of how many people I know who seem to fit the bill on the outside. Most of us will not achieve great things, but have to learn to be happy pursuing what we love.

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