I got the same problem and i dont have any solution. I try to keep my tbr list as small as possible, which helps to not be too stressed but i still got the urge to read everything at once and knowing that i wont get through them in the next 2 years is dreadfull

You are right about the competitiveness reading seems to be acquiring for many people (somebody here today is asking if reread books should "COUNT", count for what).

But I do not recognize a lot of things. I use goodreads a lot, just do not join nor ever click like on any "challenge" (just do not compare yourself to others), and I find it incredibly useful to research books I want to read, or get recommendations from friends. My time is finite, I do not mind taking risks, but if my reading was totally random I might lose out on things for sure I would like.

A good way to start is to do what you are doing - stop looking at book socials and goodreads. I usually have several books going at a time. At night I read something lighter to fall asleep. Books that I don't need to pay that much attention to. Then I usually have a book of short stories going as well as a "heavier" book. I've done this forever - there are so many books I want to read, so it's just easier to satisfy that itch by reading multiple books at a time. Maybe try that?

If I have a pile of to-be-read books, I stay out of bookstores, unless it's a used one that I can find some weird stuff in.

I think this problem is extremely common and goes well beyond books. We have so much access to information and entertainment. The backlog can be so huge that it gives you anxiety. I struggled with this once I entered young adulthood and had the opportunity to learn how to... actually do things for fun and leisure. I had to start very slow. This included reading.

IIRC, I read an article where someone described the same sort of thing you are talking about. It was featured on Pocket, maybe a couple of years ago.

But what they said in their article helped me realize that it is just impossible and unrealistic to feasibly get to every single little thing on the backlog list, for anything. It focused on reading, but you can apply that to movies, TV, music, video games, etc. You name it, it likely fits.

What I remember is this: just pick whatever you want to read at that moment and read it. What you don't pick, you can always read another time. And if later you change your mind and don't want to read it, you are allowed to not read it. It's not going anywhere. If you change your mind again and do want to read it, that's fine too. Make peace with the idea of it being unfeasible to get to absolutely everything in your backlog, because it's likely impossibly long, and that there isn't a deadline to get through that. You can go at your own pace in any order you please.

And if there's so many choices that it's paralyzing, just pick anything and start reading, or whatever.

I'll have to see if I can find that article, if I remember to actually look later.

I often find myself in this situation too :( I try to get over it by purposefully buying books based on the synopsis, that I've never heard of, or which aren't discussed in mainstream circles - if only to preserve that sense of mystery, as you say. I'm not saying it's easy, especially with the whole need-to-check-off-the-mental-tbr thing, but it often works! I've found many books which I genuinely enjoy and love that way

Yes I struggle too, I have alot of unread books but I feel an anxiety when I dont buy more. Its the anxiety of not owning the book that clutters my mind just as well as their content.

Here’s my faux answer. Cut out all the pages and combine both books as one. Then you can literally read them both at the same time.

📕
Page 1 - Page 1

Page 2 - Page 2

Page 3 - Page 3

Etc

You can counter these negative feelings by deliberately re-reading passages, and the Table of Contents. When I really want to appreciate a work of non-fiction at least, I'll make sure to read everything; the prologue, forward and introduction, all the footnotes and end notes, the afterward, and even the Index. You can also take notes, pick some works from that book's own references if the topic is engaging, and looking for more alternatives by checking Amazon, archive.org, your library online, and other booksellers for more titles like it. The reviews can ba valuable too.

I have no idea what goodreads is for or why I would use it. Not going to change that either.

What’s helped me is to stop buying books and use the library. I’m a time schedule to finish books so I can’t start a bunch. I usually just read two books at a time, one fiction and one non-fiction. It gives me a good variety at all times.

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Now I don’t know how to help with this problem but I can let you know what I do and maybe that’ll help. For context, I read about 100-400 books a year and almost always have 300-600 books on my tbr list. I am a huge mood reader and for me, my tbr list is just to make sure I have a list of books that could interest me at some point in my life. Now that could be years down the line or a day from now but there’s nothing worse than being in the mood to read a book and you don’t remember the name. Life’s too short to not read what you want in the moment and sometimes the books on my list don’t fit the current vibe. That’s okay. Books are amazing and if you aren’t totally invested in a book it’s okay to put it down, maybe read some synopsis of the rest of the story, and pick up a different one. It’s like there are tons of tv shows and movies but when I’m watching a good one I don’t think about the other good ones I’m missing out on I just focus on this one. You’ll never be able to consume everything but you can make the things you consume fit the person you are in the moment.

Youre cheating on a book with another book lol. Now seriously when i was to read 4 or 5 books at the same time i struggled too. Now its harder to focus even on one book.

I am happy to see so many people sharing their thoughts about this subject. I didn't expect that when I wrote this post. But I am also sad because most of us have to deal with this problem. I would prefer that it doesn't exist. I think that readers, who are dealing with it, can find some solutions or techniques which are mentioned here very helpful.

As I said in my post, I managed somehow to reduce that bad habit of overthinking while reading a book.

Excluding myself from online databases helped. I already have a big database in my head, so there is no need to search for more. I still accept spontaneous recommendations, those are nice, but I don't search for anything new by myself.

I mostly stopped buying new books, and I read only the ones I have on my shelf (about 50 unread books). Sometimes I want to read a book I don't have, so I go and buy it. But I managed to keep that on a rare point. Before, it was happening more often.

Rereading helps.

I understand when you love something, you want more of it. You know there are so many books that you should read, and it's perfectly understandable why obsession comes on the way. But there is another side of the story, where you should accept that you cannot go through everything. That you should go easy, consume the art of writing slowly, and enjoy every drop of it. I want to live that story. I now feel like I am on the border, which is also progress, but I want to get my mind to that checkpoint where I will be cool and not obsessed.

And one more thing for the record. I don't read fast, I read slowly, and I often return and reread some passages. This bad habit I have doesn't prevent me to consume the writing how it's supposed to. It only destroys the touch of enjoyment when you're empty-headed and when you completely dive into the book. And I really miss that.

Two thoughts.... Find yourself before you dive into any kind commitment. Also, never even think about trying meth.