Do you give books to people?

Submitted by BwanaAzungu t3_11yu39h in books

I give books, for example as birthday presents, but only if I know it's a particular book they want.

I think it's also great to give a book voucher: they can use it to get exactly the book they currently want. I myself have bought some books I've wanted for a long time because I had multiple vouchers to spend on them.

Sometimes I give books to friends, as a "here, you must read this now :)"

There are two books, Tao of Pooh and The Alchemist, which I always buy when I find them at thrift stores. I read them again, then I give them to someone who I think can appreciate them. There's always someone. They usually pass it on too.

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Plarino t1_jd9ece2 wrote

I give books to people I know enjoy reading. I usually ask for specifics otherwise try to find a random book related to one of their deep dive interests. It's so much fun when people are pleased with books they haven't heard of.

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LexiiConn t1_jd9ft86 wrote

Unless someone made it very clear that they wanted a specific book, I wouldn’t give books as gifts. Not even to a bona-fide book lover. I think it would put too much pressure on the recipient to read, enjoy and report back to me. Suppose I picked a book they didn’t like. Would they feel obligated to finish it?

I’m not much of a gift giver, though. Unless I am thoroughly comfortable that I know the recipient’s tastes, I tend to give gift cards. And often, I give the ones that are not tied to any one store or business.

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BwanaAzungu OP t1_jd9hfnv wrote

I like to give something with some personal touch, so I usually don't go for gift cards. In particular the more generic ones; at that point, just give the money (but I'm cynical like that).

As for books, tho:

I once went to a birthday party of an enthousiastic reader. He's comfortable with his own taste in books too, and doesn't like to veer outside of it. He likes books, it's a well-known fact about him; most people know what his favourite authors are.

So inevitably, when one of his favourite authors published a new book, he got five copies as a birthday present from five different people. (Edit: of which he had to keep one copy, and return four. So he had to choose which copy to keep and potentially offend someone, and ask the others politely for a receipt of a gift they thought was thoughtful)

I just gave him a book voucher. A book everyone knows you want, you'll get from everyone. I rather give something so you can get the book I don't know you want.

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LexiiConn t1_jd9irto wrote

I know what you mean about “personal touch”. I’ve been lucky that, lately, many of the gifts I bought were for weddings and baby births, and the recipients had registries. Whew, I was so glad to see them!

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BwanaAzungu OP t1_jd9kbey wrote

I used to feel greedy when making a wish list, but now I consider it common courtesy

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strongsolarwind t1_jd9j5gc wrote

Eew, you give The Alchemist to people? Rude. /s

​

(But lots of people here in this sub and in the world at large loathe that book. I personally have only hated two books in my life, The Historian and The Alchemist)

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Bridalhat t1_jd9jkwq wrote

Also isn’t the Alchemist kinda self-help? You never do that unless asked.

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BwanaAzungu OP t1_jd9lk6t wrote

Just to be clear, as an example, I gave it to a friend of mine; she has a master's degree in art history and literature, and is specialised in folklore and fairytales. She found it a good and easy read, had some interesting remarks on it from a professional perspective.

A different friend is getting into Eastern philosophies, so I gave him the Tao of Pooh.

That's the kind of people I mean when I said "people who I think will appreciate it"

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strongsolarwind t1_jd9tg1o wrote

You're fine, I'm just having fun because that is one of the more divisive books out there and gets discussed here a lot because of it.

People either find it simple, beautiful and moving or they find it trite, facile garbage and there isn't a lot of room in the middle.

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nobloodinmybum t1_jdanen6 wrote

I read the historian as a tween and didn't hate it. Had some charm. Why didn't you like it?

The Alchemist however is garbage and I would support that the Amazon rainforest be burned down entirely if it meant it spared the trees from the possibility of the fate of having Coelho's words printed upon them.

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along_withywindle t1_jd9kxcg wrote

I love giving books as gifts!

But I also make sure the person knows I have no expectations of them to read or keep the book. I gave the book because I thought they might like it, but they're under no obligation to spend their time reading it.

ETA: the majority of my book gifts are to people I am very close to, whose taste in books I am very familiar with

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ErinAmpersand t1_jd9hc18 wrote

For kids? Absolutely. For adults? Generally not.

Most adults I know primarily read ebooks or audiobooks anyway.

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BwanaAzungu OP t1_jd9i4zk wrote

>For kids? Absolutely.

Good point

I told a friend of mine I plan to indoctrinate her son "Sam" into liking LOTR.

I got him a red dragon plushie when he was born.

He's getting The Hobbit for his fifth birthday.

Kronk voice: Yeah, it's all coming together

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themistycrystal t1_jd9j7wc wrote

The best gift I ever gave was a book. I got it for my husband's grandmother. She was in her 80s and hard to buy for. I found a biography about Gracie Allen and gave it to her for Christmas. She looked at it and her face lit up. She put it away with her other gifts while we continued to celebrate that day, but I saw her go in and pull the book out and sneak read a few paragraphs three times that day. It made my day that she liked it.

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BinstonBirchill t1_jd9fsf7 wrote

I give people books but it’s rarely based on my experience of reading the book, sometimes i’ll give a book I didn’t particularly even like because I know their taste and mine differ, sometimes one I haven’t read.

I give books based on what I know of them and their reading habits. Sometimes I nudge them in a direction they’ve never tried before but I know it offers something they would enjoy, say certain historical fiction for a solely romance reader.

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gigarob t1_jd9fpnv wrote

I used to keep a *lot* of books, and of course, people always asked to borrow.

I never loaned out books. I gave them, and asked to be given them back when done. (If I didn't want to give the book away, I just said "No" or "you can come by here and read it anytime you want")

After several moves in quick succession and an impending move to NYC I gave my entire library away -- Limit of one book per person per visit. It took a few months and a few parties but in the end almost all were gone.

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scottfishel t1_jd9j6zg wrote

I love to trade books or give them away. I keep the favorites, but if I’m likely not going to read something again, at least in the near future, I’ve never seen the point of just filling bookshelves.

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RobertEmmetsGhost t1_jd9tuf6 wrote

Books are my go-to present for people unless I know they don’t like reading. I love going into a bookshop and trying to find a book I think someone will enjoy.

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LeoMarius t1_jdaalj5 wrote

Only if I know they'd like it, or if it's of particular importance to me.

As a librarian, I'm better at picking out books for people than most, but still it's never perfect.

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Tiny-Prize2343 t1_jdb4ldl wrote

My best friend and I share books all the time. If I finish something I know she'll like, I'll bring it with me next time we hangout. If I have something in my shelves she's interested in, even if I haven't read it yet, I'll give it to her and same goes the other way around. There's no timeline we expect them returned, just whenever we finish (could be weeks, could be years).

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Benderesco t1_jdbgnth wrote

I tend to only gift books to people I know well; that way, I know for sure I'll be giving them something they'll enjoy. I only make an exception to this when the person in question has explicitly mentioned wanting a specific work.

Might seem too fussy of me, but I mostly do this because I've received way too many books I have no interest in; several people I know have the bad habit of gifting random/popular books to their bookworm friends, because people who like reading will consume anything, right?

I've received so many Dan Brown books as gifts. So... many...

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[deleted] t1_jd9ehq6 wrote

I pass books on to my artistic minded friends if I believe they’ll get something out of them, whether they’ve read the author or not, usually with a note or an explanation.

If I purchase a book as a gift it’s usually a coffee table book unless I’ve been specifically asked for a book.

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morecreamerplease t1_jd9eqzd wrote

I buy books for my niece and nephew and sandwich them inbwteen something they asked for, like cloths or money. I donate all my other books when I am done reading them.

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sdurflinger t1_jd9gpd7 wrote

I look them over and read the insert, maybe skim a few pages. I don't care if they're read or not, whoever starts the book can decide for themselves.

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KenshinX90 t1_jd9guyz wrote

Yeah i buy books for people as gifts, and also give them away when I'm moving. to lighten my load

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unlovelyladybartleby t1_jd9gz35 wrote

I only give them if they seem like a good fit for the person. For example a friend of mine was struggling with an elderly relative with end stage COPD and her adult kids moving back to the nest while renovating a shed in the back yard to live in so I bought her Unsheltered by Barbara Kingsolver. Or my step dad just fell off a ladder he had no business being on so I bought him Can't Wait to Get to Heaven by Fannie Flagg.

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Madageddon t1_jd9i1su wrote

The Voyage of the Basset is a picture-heavy book with wonderful sketches in the margins and gorgeous illustrations everywhere. It means a lot to me as a place to start in fantasy, being about fantasy is a bonus, and as a book that was ready to me (especially as I struggled to ready and got to it late, then became voracious).

When I found out my niece was getting into reading, I almost broke 5+ years of no contact with a family member to see if I could get my copy for her. I didn't do that, but I did get her the book. I haven't heard much about it, but the point was to satisfy that little girl I used to be in getting that out there.

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avivshener t1_jd9ic0j wrote

I only read ebooks these days, but in the past I never gave away books I loved because the fear of not getting them back was too big.

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wandamaximovvs t1_jd9iwju wrote

I've given both my best friend and her partner a copy of my favourite book (Six of Crows) and told them to read it. As for my other friends who love to read, they have wishlists on Amazon and I buy something off that for their birthdays, Christmas, etc. I don't just gift someone a book that may not be up their alley (unless they specifically ask me to do so).

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yupitsmeeee89 t1_jd9k8ct wrote

Only young kids books. I don’t presume to know what books will catch someone’s attention or what they’re going through in their private life that may make reading certain books difficult.

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space_tigress t1_jd9lis7 wrote

I gave books as presents to 3 different people this month! I like to choose a book based on a genre I know they love and surprise them with my pick. So far it has only been successful and they've all seemed to love it!

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Gullible_Cut8131 t1_jd9llt2 wrote

I generally don’t, either. With specific people who have asked for recommendations or whom I know like genres I have on occasion, but it’s tough, especially for people who read a lot.

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Grave_Girl t1_jd9nbpu wrote

Sometimes, yeah, if I can be absolutely certain it's something the person wants. I recently bought my husband a biography of J. Robert Oppenheimer I saw mentioned in another sub, and many gift-giving occasions involve me buying him books off his wish list. I bought a book for my best friend that Amazon advertised to me. I've bought my oldest kid books I've read that I think she will enjoy (spoiler: she basically never does).

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kaysn t1_jd9ozrd wrote

Only when they specifically ask me to gift them a title. For my niece and nephew, I need to run the book with their mom first.

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fn0000rd t1_jd9utpn wrote

I do, and I actually have a really good hit rate with them, what's weird is that no one ever tells me about it.

For instance, I have a few friends who all live in the same house, so I sent them a copy of Good Omens, and got radio silence. A few years later I sent American Gods, radio silence. I gave it one more shot with the first Bobiverse book, and heard nothing.

I finally asked one afternoon, and it turned out that everyone in the house had read all the books and talked about them incessantly while reading them, but I was just never there for the conversations.

Needless to say, this is not a crowd that is long on sending "thank you" cards...

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boxer_dogs_dance t1_jd9v9lq wrote

I give books as gifts to relatives who like to read, and to my niblings who I want to encourage to read. I tend to suggest names of books to friends, but don't purchase them as gifts for them.

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Girl77879 t1_jd9w3su wrote

Yes. I give my nieces, nephews, and child books every year for Christmas. I've been doing classics since they were born, nice hardbound copies. Building their libraries. Occasionally I'll also order some off Amazon- more "fun" ones like Pokémon or minecraft novels. Or ones like "Then Again, Maybe I won't," or similar "coming of age" novels.

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maxwell-cady t1_jd9xvnh wrote

I do sometimes if I know what kind of book somebody really likes. Especially to children.

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SharonzHere t1_jda1ag6 wrote

I give vouchers, page marks etc. But not a book

Giving books to kids below 10/ below 7 still works

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Zeus_McCloud t1_jda4dng wrote

Attempting to lend one to someone was more drama to begin with than it was even worth.

She was a single mother from class (university) asking for new books to read. However, she wasn't into genre fiction, and I was. I gave her something fairly tame, and that I didn't mind so much if I didn't get back. She tried to start it, but something got in the way, and because kids exist, it eventually came back with a spill and warped pages. This was a calculated risk, and in this case, I got exactly what I expected. Hence, I didn't give her anything I couldn't stand losing.

At some point, not sure when, she (friend 1) also lent a copy of a DESIGNER magazine she reads and collects, to a mutal friend (friend 2), who friend 1 saw as lazy and stupid, and the mutual friend threw that magazine - which was a DESIGNER magazine - in the bin, not understanding the difference or what it meant to the friend 1 who gave it to her.

This was probably 14 years ago and I'm glad I'm not around either anymore, the former especially due to a host of dramas and high-strung personality, the other due to a party personality being all there really was.

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couldbeyouornot t1_jda580j wrote

absolutely

great for kids

adults

anyone

you will like this book

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ca77ywumpus t1_jda59o2 wrote

I give books to kids frequently. Especially if I know their interests well. I try to go outside the standard "classics" picture books and get newer authors, and lesser known titles by famous authors. For older kids, I try to find new series that are relevant to their interests or similar to books I know they like. Graphic novels are fun too.

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jackfaire t1_jdaakia wrote

My daughter gives me huge lists of Manga she wants so that I know what to choose from for gifts.

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[deleted] t1_jdacn73 wrote

I did this one Christmas. My family politely left all the books stacked by the tree. We never spoke of it again. All of the books were personally chosen for them.

I haven’t done it since. I now give them Starbucks or target gift cards (they are big on local coffee shops, before you ask). I’m a book reader in a family of movie people.

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j-live t1_jdadlfr wrote

Rarely but if I do it's either Siddhartha or Tao of Poo. Generally to friends and family already interested in eastern philosophy.

I have given a Vonnegut here and there as well.

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CommerciallyFunny t1_jdag7et wrote

I’ve gotten both of those books as gifts, and have given the alchemist as a gift too! Glad I’m not the only one :)

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akazacult t1_jdags6n wrote

no because none of my friends read books lol but if they did then i think a book would be a cute gift idea

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elle23nc t1_jdaoheu wrote

My friends and I gift each other books. I either pick something off their Goodreads "Want to Read" list, a book from an author I know they like, or a new book I believe is in their wheel house. I include the receipt so they can exchange it if they want.

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Orefinejo t1_jdaqsej wrote

I give board books as baby gifts and when my kids were young and went to birthday parties we usually gave nice picture books as gifts.

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johosaphatz t1_jdbdt5m wrote

It absolutely depends on the person and the book.

I gave one of my best friends a beautifully illustrated copy of The Hobbit, because we're both big Tolkien fans and I know he re-reads The Hobbit every few years, and an illustrated copy is perfect for him and his daughter. If I know someone is interested in a particular topic, then a history book or biography could be a great gift. I gave my brother A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms by GRRM because I know he loved ASOIAF. Books take a time investment, so I'm only going to give someone a book that I'm very confident that they'll enjoy.

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ManufacturerSame8578 t1_jdbnmd4 wrote

i don't usually gift people books especially if they don't usually read for pleasure but i have had a couple of times where i read a book that i have a strong feeling a friend is gonna like and if i happen to get an extra copy of it, ill gift it to them. so far ive been pretty good with recommending books to people but most of the time i gift books to people who are avid readers.

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SnowdriftsOnLakes t1_jdbofwb wrote

I like gifting people books, but it's hard, too. Most of my friends love reading, but all of us have wildly different tastes. So it's always a struggle to pick something I think they would enjoy. It's hardest with a friend who mostly reads classics, because I often have no idea whether she's read a particular one or not. With others, I tend to go for more recent publications to maximize the chances they won't have read it yet.

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Razorbackalpha t1_jdc2wp4 wrote

I give a lot of my fiction to my little siblings and most of my political science to my dad. It's a nice way to bond with family

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LadybugGal95 t1_jddpicr wrote

I am an avid reader. My sister, not so much. She had kids before me. So, I started giving all my nieces and nephews a book as well as a toy for Christmas each year to ensure they had books. I needn’t have worried. Anyway, when everyone started getting older it got harder, of course. Two years ago, I considered stopping the tradition (kids sophomore in high school through 3rd grade). Before announcing it, the sophomore told me what she really wanted for Christmas was for me to preorder this book for her. A different niece told me how much she loved that I gave them books. So, yeah, I still get them books.

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Insomniac_Tales t1_jdcnha8 wrote

I give books to people I know will appreciate them. I think last Christmas I gave A Humument to my friend whose an artist because I knew he'd appreciate the style of it.

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11__nadd t1_jdcvbee wrote

Only for who love reading

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Ayjayyyx t1_jdcx7vu wrote

No. Not unless they're family and even then I have strict rules on how to take care of my books (e.g. not bending the spine).

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lumakip t1_jdd50tq wrote

in the past, i've tracked down signed 1st editions as gifts when i knew that they really adored a book....usually goes over pretty well :)

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ebonyphoenix t1_jddccuw wrote

I have a tradition where I give books to my cousins’ kids when they are under 10. Then when they get older I give them B&N gift cards so that they can choose what books they want.

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Heath_Garden t1_jddchuh wrote

I very rarely give books to people unless I know it's one they specifically want, mostly because a lot of book gifts I've received over the years aren't...quite what I care for, and it seems a shame to waste money on an unwanted present, especially when books are a particularly time-intensive gift (yes, the thought counts, but I don't want to just give people clutter)

But I've been a librarian for about 6 years, so I don't even buy myself a lot of books, honestly. Hard to justify it when so many are available for free lol

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NotJustYet73 t1_jdf2hnf wrote

Once in a lonely while, yes, but I've never known many serious readers. I have known a lot of people who spend hours watching reruns of The King of Queens (or some such) while insisting that they just don't have time to read.

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CoffeeB4Talkie t1_jdi7hy5 wrote

Other than my daughter, I don't really know any people personally that love books like I do. I did lend a book to my sibling, because they wanted to get into reading. They haven't read it nor returned it. It's been over a year. 😒😂

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