I am sorry you feel this way. And your english is perfectly fine. What I can suggest is that you treat this with your therapist as it is becoming an addiction and this behavior will most likely keep coming with almost everything you try. Good thing is: you caught it!

As other say: you could channel it into something different and positive. Maybe a sport outside, walking, photography… something to balance it. Or find a remote spot outside to read. You get fresh air, you get some movement and you get to read for a bit. Maybe time your daily readings. The best you can do to deal with all the stress of daily life is plan your day and stick to a nice and healthy routine. Get x hours of reading, x hours of this or that, anything important for you right now. Check weekly: how was my week planning? What should I change next week? And repeat :)

Have you checked videos and books from Dr Stepehen Ilardi? I heard a Masterclass from him in my Calm app and it really resonated with me and helped me focus on the important things.