Can I put this bluntly and be harsh? The first step is realising that Booktok / Booktube is full of grown-ups stuck in immature literature that is pushed on self-proclaimed bookworms, sponsored by publishers. They all read the same books, and they don't develop their own taste. I know this sounds insulting to some people but it's true. It isn't a productive environment for people who suffer from mental problems.

The only reading competition I have is with myself. There are hundreds of books on my reading list, every week it becomes longer, and I know I can never read them all.

Get off social media and look for friends who share your interest in reading. Read the same book for example, at a slow pace, talk about it, discuss it. Meet up for a coffee and to talk about the books.

Edit: I know that it is to be extremely depressed, I've been there (maybe I still am...). Get off those social media sites and try connect with people about reading in different ways. Read a book in the library, maybe someone will start a conversation.