Story time: About my son and his love of reading...Should be mad but proud instead. Thank you for your time.

Submitted by DuxBellorumUthred t3_123lqpv in books

Long time lurker first time poster. Sorry its a little long but there is some background needed for the whole story to make sense.

So I have a little story that just happened a few days ago. It is one of those situations where as a parent, you are kinda mad but also kinda proud.

My son is 8 years old. It took him a little while to really get into reading. We did not push him, we do not have him in public school where they are required to ready novels by kindergarten regardless of their development and readiness. We just let his desire to read blossom as his own pace.

This past year it has take off like a rocket. It is to a point where he is one of three students in his mixed grade class that has been assigned additional reading assignments just to keep him engaged. Lately his obsession has been The Bad Guys series of books by by Aaron Blabey. Last week we got the first 13 of 17 of The Bad Guys books and he has been obsessed and as of yesterday he has finished all 13 books.

The other night, we put him to bed around 8pm, which is on time for us. The book he had just started, Book 8 I believe, was on his dresser across the room. There are night lights in his room but not enough to read by. We also have a camera in his room because he has had issues in the past with sleep and he just got used to it being there and asked us to leave it in, its a comfort thing for him. AND he always sleeps with the covers over his head (also a comfort thing and this is important later.)

After we put him to bed and closed the door, he got up a tip toed across his room and got his book and snuck back into bed, all this while looking at the camera and back at the door to make sure we weren't coming. Once he was sure the coast was clear, he grabbed the LED lantern we keep on his night stand (mostly decoration but its functional just in case) and pulled it into bed as well. He then proceeded to cover himself back up and read for the next 45 minutes, completing the book under the covers by the lantern light, all the while his mother and I were none the wiser. When he finished he got up and came out and told us he couldn't sleep but quickly fessed up to what he did (without any prompting from us) with a sheepish grin. We would probably not have know if he hadn't said anything.

We were able to look back at the camera card and see what he had done and how careful he was to try and make sure we did not catch him in the act, like his own little spy movie.

On one had we were upset as it was a school night and he was supposed to be asleep, on the other hand, as avid readers ourselves, we were both proud that we have been able to instill the same love of reading and sense of wonder with books and the worlds within.

That is, thank you for making it this far.

TL/DR: Son sneaks book under covers after bedtime and voluntarily fesses up. We should be disappointed but proud instead that we had been able to instill the love of reading into him at this age.

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ChilliSl0th t1_jdvc6fp wrote

Two things you can be very proud of:

  1. Your son's love for reading.
  2. Your son trusting you enough to tell you himself, that he read in bed instead of sleeping.

So, good job!

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdvo3tp wrote

Thank you, we definitely have our flaws as parents, as all parents do, but one thing we love is how must trust we have built with our son and its the #1 thing we strive to maintain.

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TargetMaleficent t1_jdvdbnw wrote

I work for a reading tutoring company and I can assure you public schools do not expect every child to be reading novels in Kinder lol. Instruction in K-1 focuses mostly on letter-sound correspondence, phonics, sight words, and spelling .

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdvf08d wrote

In all fairness I will admit I was exaggerating when I said that. That said, my son's neighborhood friend is in the same grade as he is and is in public school and she does struggle with reading to the point where the school required them to get a tutor because she was not meeting their "milestones" for reading.

I also struggled with reading until I was in high school and it just took the right book at the right time for me like it did my son. (For me it was Dean Koontz' Fear Nothing audiobook on a two day drive to New Mexico, for my son it was Peter Brown's The Wild Robot.)

My wife and I are big proponents of not adhering to arbitrary developmental milestones and letting our child develop at their own pace because every child is different and forcing children into tutoring and into learning things when they are not ready does more often than not will instill resentment of something rather than the love of something. I remember this was a problem for me in school.

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TargetMaleficent t1_jdxrs5k wrote

100% agree about not forcing, but you can gently encourage and expose kids to a wide variety of books to see what motivates them. Sounds like this is what you guys did and I'm glad it works out. I think we book lovers sometimes forget that we don't actually love ALL books, on the contrary its really specific authors and genres that are responsible for our motivation. It can be very difficult for kids to find the joy of reading when they are limited to graded readers and other phony school books.

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Worldly_Narwhal_4452 t1_jdxgzuz wrote

This is a bit off topic, but I’m a reading tutor as well. I’ve had lot of success with high school/college kids, but I just got my first 1st grader last week. As you can imagine, I don’t really know too much about teaching little kids. He has trouble with all of the things you listed, and cannot read at even a kindergarten level. How do you recommend teaching these things?

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aculady t1_jdz92jv wrote

Check out Orton-Gillingham method. It's the most evidence-based way we have to teach reading to dyslexic people.

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TargetMaleficent t1_jdxsz97 wrote

Struggling readers at 1st are often lacking in both sight words and confidence. Find easy books where he can read some parts, like Piggie and Gerald books. Read the same book over and over so he can memorize it. Quickly help him out with any word over 4 letters. School generally does a good job teaching the phonics and spelling, but schools typically can't provide students with enough time spent actually reading and learning sight words. As a result many kids in K-2 struggle with words that don't "follow the rules".

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VioletPringle t1_jdv4tco wrote

This is very cute.

When my eldest son - now 20 years old - was at primary school, I had a phone call asking if I could possibly bring him some lunch in as he had been too busy reading in the playground to get his dinner, and there was nothing left 😅

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rudebish t1_jdv5wkg wrote

yessss the only time when sneaking past your bedtime is acceptable lol

my kids love reading and I love that they love reading!! continue to foster his love of books! right now one of my kids (a teen) is reading one of my favourite books ever and I couldn't be more overjoyed. I so badly want to talk about it but she's not at the good part yet.

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdv8bli wrote

We own a not insignificant number of books, fiction and non fiction, and I cannot wait until he is old enough to read some of them, especially the fiction so that we can share and discuss them together. We always have done everything we can to foster his love of reading and now he reads in the car on the way to school, on the way back from school, on the toilet before his evening shower and now apparently under the covers after bedtime :-D

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rudebish t1_jdv8y1z wrote

love it. Create a little book club for the both of you! it'll be awesome.

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdxigkx wrote

This is a great idea, he is asking me to read his current book when he is finished with it so maybe I can start with that.

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bofh256 t1_jdv761z wrote

Heh.

Next step for you: Teach your kid to set aside the book early enough to be completely rested the next morning.

Source: Avid reader as a kid, with an avid reader kid or two, still avid reader, that - once in a blue moon - reads until dawn.

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdv8sir wrote

Yeah, I can definitely see this as being an issue as he grows more advanced in his reading ability which is already ahead of the curve for his grade. He also has ADHD so the hyperfocus kicks in heavily when he is reading.

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NoGuide t1_jdw2av2 wrote

I used to stay up late to read all the time as a kid. My mother has since told me that she always felt conflicted about yelling at me to stop reading! It's cute looking back on it.

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BullguerPepper98 t1_jdw81i9 wrote

Man, I have a 11 month daughter and I really want her to like to read as much as me. But people keep telling me that children today don't like books. Your story just gimme hope for the future!

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdxke3p wrote

Just read to her as often as you can. We have been reading to my son every night and more since the day he was born. We also have made it a point to limit technology and screen time for him. That's not to say he doesn't know his way saround technology, I'm an IT professional, our house if full of Alexa and computers and smart devices, he cracked the passcode on my wife's iPad when he was 4. That said, we never just put him in front of the TV or just handed him a iPad as a digital babysitter. He didn't play his first video game until this year (he is 8) and even then we started with Super Mario Bros on the NES which was my first video game at his age and his game time is limited to 2 hours per week total. When he is bored we usually tell him "OK, you can pick up your playroom or read a book." Guess which one he usually picks. His playroom hasn't been clean in months but at least the mess is contained.

We encourage reading and love buying home books, he always gets new books at Christmas, birthday, Easter and any other day we can find an excuse to buy them and trips to the bookstore are a regular anticipated family event for us. Just foster the love of reading in your daughter, read with her often, keep reading to and with her even after everyone says she should know how to read, ignore the school systems who might tell you they are behind for their age group and let the love and desire to read blossom when they are ready for it but no matter what keep reading with them. Despite his love of reading on his own, some of our most treasured moments are sitting down and reading together.

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BullguerPepper98 t1_jdxsbuv wrote

Thanks for the tip! I try to read for her, but she's just too agitated! I start to read and she just go away, screaming at the cats or something. She don't focus at me, reading and if I try to read with her in my arms, she just want to go to the ground.

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aculady t1_jdz9nnl wrote

She can listen while she moves around at this age. It's fine. Read the book aloud, and eventually, she will start showing an interest in it. You might start out with poetry - the meter and rhyme may make it more appealing. My son loved the poems in "When We Were Very Young" by A.A. Milne when he was an infant and toddler.

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Spirited-Pin-8450 t1_jdvgbwz wrote

I fondly remember doing this myself, a good start for a lifetime of reading! Maybe suggest he uses proper bedside lamp and that he still needs to get enough sleep

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdxipaz wrote

We dont have a bedside lamp for this reason honestly, didn't want to give him an easy way to wake himself up and stay awake, the led lantern he does have is quite bright though so that's good.

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Bright_Broccoli1844 t1_jdvhm5h wrote

Awe, many a child has read under rhe covers with a flashlight. He has joined all those children who have come before him.

I am glad your child now has a love of reading, It will serve him well. Cute story.

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Secty t1_jdw6oca wrote

This was me, I remember being about 10 and burning my bedlinen because I was desperate to keep on reading but didn’t want my sister (who I shared a room with) to wake up and rat me out. Good times.

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GFVeggie6 t1_jdwam6n wrote

You have a reader on your hands.

I used to put a towel at the crack in my door so my parents couldn't see the light was on while I read late into the night.

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdxl8uk wrote

I'm honestly surprised my son hasn't tried something like this yet except we do still have the camera in his room so we would notice eventually.

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bros402 t1_jdwda6n wrote

> we do not have him in public school where they are required to ready novels by kindergarten

wat, no, that doesn't happen

Kids are expected to know how to read most of their phonemes by the end of Kindergarten and they're expected to be able to read the 50-100 high frequency words.

also, hell yeah, that classic "read when you should be asleep" - I think I first did that when I was 6?

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdxku8r wrote

I mentioned previously that I was exaggerating to a point when I said that but I do truly believe reading milestones like this are unnecessary. Children should blossom into their reading at their own pace.

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bros402 t1_jdxl4le wrote

I mean if a kid isn't reading at least somewhat during first grade, the student should be evaluated by the IEP team to see if it is a disability or something developmental. It's also why imo if a kid is on the cusp of K parents should keep their kids at home until their kid will be one of the oldest in their grade

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdxmnh4 wrote

This is exactly what we did. He was born in June, literally the middle of the year so we kept him back and he is the oldest second grader in his class. Didn't get an IEP, we knew he had ADHD and it has an official diagnosis and we intentionally kept him out of public schools because both my wife and I have ADHD and knew he wouldn't do well in a traditional desk setting. He goes to a Regio inspired school on a farm so he gets to spent most of every day even in winter outside which has been a game changer for his development.

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dlpr t1_jdwp5rk wrote

Congratulations... One of my proudest achievement as parent of a 7 year old is imbibing the love of reading in her

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MattMurdock30 t1_jdwsuml wrote

I am completely blind. I often in school had "silent reading" books because it was part of the requirements. So I would have my regular Braille textbook on the desk and my silent reading Braille novel inside the desk and sneak my fingers to read inside the desk for the novel when I was supposed to be working.

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdxlqdw wrote

I have my eyesight and I did this as well. I would have my textbook on the desk and my novel in my lap and be reading under the desk.

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pigs2 t1_jdwxk4t wrote

I did the same thing as a kid, except I didn’t have a secret light so I’d just sit in front of the door and use the light coming from the kitchen and through the bottom crack…no wonder my vision is terrible now. Well my mom caught me doing it and just let me stay up to read

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mid-world_lanes t1_jdxwkip wrote

I remember crouching by my fish tank at night at that same age, secretly reading by the little light in the aquarium hood.

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ElwoodJD t1_jdvt6ld wrote

That’s awesome. The only thing I caution is reading by low light under the covers can do eye strain damage. My wife’s family has perfect vision mostly but my wife, who did exactly what you son did, for like 10 years, has such terrible vision her contact prescription is like -11 or something insane.

Maybe if he’s gonna stay up reading he can turn the overhead lights on or something? Just a word of caution - congrats on getting that love of reading instilled. My wife is incredibly successful and it’s definitely due to her incredibly voracious reading abilities so I’m not trying to scare you away from supporting your sons books books books mentality.

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdxl3dx wrote

You would be able to scare us away from supporting his desire to read even if you were trying to. We definitely know about taking care of our eyes though as my wife and I both have had eye issues so we are doing everything we can to be safe.

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aculady t1_jdz9xg2 wrote

The "Itty-bitty book light" is perfect for reading in bed. It clips to the book and shines directly on the pages.

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nakedreader_ga t1_jdwizf1 wrote

My 12yo did something similar over the weekend. She hasn't read at home since she started middle school. We used to read to her at night, but she negotiated a later bedtime without stories which was fine with us. In elementary school, she'd have to take tests throughout the year and earn x amount of points for a nine weeks. She doesn't have that this year. But over the weekend she asked if she couldn't sleep could she read for a little bit. I know my kid needs her sleep, but if she's actually reading, I'm not going to say no.

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdxlfkl wrote

Absolutely, we have less a problem with my son going tk sleep than we do staying asleep in the morning so if he wakes up to early we always encourage him to stay in bed and read as that is its own form of resting.

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iamamuttonhead t1_jdwsppb wrote

My younger kid was not reading in kindergarten and his teacher was very worked up about it. We were adamant that it was not a problem and that he would read when he was ready to read. By the end of first grade he was reading well beyond his peers. By third grade he was getting in trouble for reading in class after he had done his classwork. Sometimes teachers can be stupid just like everyone else. In any case, letting the rascal sneak in extra reading is not really a problem.

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdxlm51 wrote

Couldn't agree more, definitely not a problem. That's basically where he was in kindergarten and now in the second grade he is ahead of nearly all his peers.

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Apprehensive_Tone_55 t1_jdxl4xo wrote

I stayed up reading all the time as a kid and my mom was understandably angry the few times she caught me haha. I don’t think it’s a big deal. I wish I could do that as an adult but I’ll just fall asleep in minutes.

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DuxBellorumUthred OP t1_jdxlxhe wrote

Yeah, being an adult sucks, at the end of the day almost tge moment I crack open a book I start to nod off.

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Morimementa t1_jdxlcim wrote

You're raising him right! I'm glad he told you. I'm sure you'll be able to teach him that sleep is more important than books.

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aculady t1_jdza2of wrote

I think you got the order of those things mixed up...

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Historical_Spring800 t1_jdy8j3n wrote

That’s great OP. We do a lot of the same things and our raising three avid readers. (The oldest, a teenager, his reading dropped off sharply when he got his first cell phone at age 12 so we won’t be making that mistake again.) Another simple thing people often overlook is to keep televisions and video games out of bedrooms. Our kids are allowed to stay up a half an hour after getting into bed, longer on weekends, and the only thing go do in their rooms is read!

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littleone327 t1_je2scoo wrote

Sadly my 11 year old does not share my love of reading and I completely think it's linked to accelerated reading goals. They have to read at what their grade level is and get tested on every book and you are supposed to have so many points each quarter. You talk about a surefire way to suck the fun out of it. So I applaud you on your success here 👏 💜

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