Submitted by IDoBeVibing745 t3_ygamgt in books

So I'm about 75% of the way through The Bell Jar right now and I really want to finish it. However, I'm having some difficulties. Long story short, I'm on a similar path as Esther/Sylvia was on and reading the endgame of that has been a bit emotionally taxing. The only strategy I've been using is to listen in short chunks, but I'm not sure if there is anything else that may help too. I also want to clarify that it's not triggering, although earlier parts in the book were, but just emotionally heavy.

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xandra_enaj t1_iu7uhey wrote

Sounds like you’re consuming via audiobook. Have you tried consuming via print? You’re more in control of the rate and amount you take on at a time, which might make it a little easier to process. (To be clear, I’m not hating on audiobooks at all, I was thinking of how I get through emotionally heavy reading material and often times it’s by just closing my eyes and sitting with it for a minute and I’m not sure I could get the same effect with audio.)

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A11eyRat t1_iu7x3w3 wrote

I would maybe recommend stopping and picking it up a bit later. I also read this book when I was terribly depressed and going through almost the same life experiences that Esther was going through. Although it made me feel less alone…as if talking to a friend who understands exactly how you feel when you confide in them about some difficulties in life…it was kind of triggering.

I also chose the Audiobook (read by Maggie Gyllenhall) and I think her perfect execution of the detached Esther really struck a cord with me. It almost made me think that everything that she is feeling and everything that she did is okay given her situation and mental state. And this is not good if someone reading the book is really depressed…

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cjhreddit t1_iu88lpd wrote

Exposure is the best way of overcoming a phobia, so you could read more books like The Bell Jar. But if you're not actually getting something from it, why bother !? Read something else instead.

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Glitz-1958 t1_iu895i5 wrote

I dither a bit then I flip to the end, then I work backwards a few pages at a time. Anathema to the purists but pragmatic. I get closure on the story and feel more in control. I've not read this particular book so can't say if it would work with that.

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0_0moon0_0 t1_iu8hspz wrote

I don’t. If it’s challenging (emotionally) I drop it. My mental health is already hanging by the thread, I won’t jeopardise it in anyway. I stopped reading A Little Life and the Days of Abandonment because of this.

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PunkandCannonballer t1_iu8l828 wrote

If I think it's worth it, I drop it and pick it up later. If I don't think it's worth it, I'll just drop it.

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TaliesinMerlin t1_iu8m29x wrote

I suggest pushing on (with frequent small breaks as you need) or setting it aside for a while.

I had to read The Road for class and we were discussing it during one of my most anxious moments during undergrad; I was applying to graduate school and despairing about the options. I couldn't read more than 20 pages at a time before I had to go for a long walk and shake the shroud of apocalypticism off me for a bit. It was a good book, and I don't regret finishing it, but wow, was that miserable.

So just decide for yourself if you want to push on. (No shame if you don't; The Bell Jar is amazing, but it'll be around even if you wait a year.) If you do go forward with reading, try to build a routine out of it: read what you can and then do a self-affirming activity, as simple as walking outside in the fresh air or drinking your favorite tea.

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gxbcab t1_iu8mcr3 wrote

I’m in the same boat right now. Currently reading Morning Star by Pierce Brown and I’ve hit a point that’s too depressing to keep reading. The worst part is the book is due back to the library in two days and I don’t have the mental capacity to finish it by then.

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left4ched t1_iu8q6yg wrote

Yo, same with Eleanor in "The Haunting of Hill House". I felt that character to an absurd degree. Like I gasped out loud >!when she hit the tree and legit had to take a minute to make sure I was not dead.!<

Might be different for you, but what helped for me was talking walks in between reading sessions and just thinking about all the ways I wasn't her. Sometimes long, sometimes short, just around the block or to the corner store or walking the dog. No headphones, just thinking and moving. I believe more than anything the movement is what did the trick; like "I am physically moving away from the place where I experienced these emotions and am also mentally moving away from that headspace."

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[deleted] t1_iu8vci7 wrote

I don't tend to read very mature content-heavy books to begin with, but I tend to just stop reading it. You're under no obligation to finish every single book you ever read, ever. I read for fun, not to check off a book of my list. If I don't like the book, I won't read it anymore and I'll find another one

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Dowie911 t1_iu8yc5m wrote

Thankfully I haven't felt the need to put down a book due to this, but I have had to leave the room while my wife watched tv before. It was a show based on a book, so I imagine if I had any interest in that book I would've shelved it.

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BookishBitching t1_iu8yhme wrote

Bell Jar should be read when you're in the right headspace for it. I can't go near it without preparing my soul or it sends me down a weird spiral and I spend the next 4 months in existential despair. Take care of yourself first <3

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RattusRattus t1_iu95ve6 wrote

Yeah, I just stop. There's a difference between "difficult but I'm enjoying it" and "this is making me feel like crap and putting me in a terrible head space".

Try it again later. But there's nothing wrong with reading "pop corn" when you need a break. Jerry Spinelli writes lovely YA. Pratchett is wonderful nonsense. The Simon Snow series is nice and fluffy too.

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Aphid61 t1_iu9eggw wrote

When something like this gets to me, I've learned to take myself out of the book emotionally and focus on the literature. Analyzing sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation, evaluating how the writer could have improved this or that paragraph -- takes the power out of the words. Worth the effort with difficult material.

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Ganajin t1_iu9hqxp wrote

That book was hard for me and related to it far too much. Take your time.

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IDoBeVibing745 OP t1_iu9soj8 wrote

Reading is difficult for me, which I guess is apt considering that is talked about in the book, but I might try reading it now that I'm almost finished because I think that's easier for me than reading the beginning of something.

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CDundas1987 t1_iu9xc5l wrote

I do this too. I’ve not read any of my murdery books in over 2 years. My husband bought me Anatomy of a scandal at a car boot sale cos he thought I’d like it but I had to turn off the tv series after one episode because it was triggering. If it’s not good for my mental health I won’t read it.

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IDoBeVibing745 OP t1_iua0lij wrote

Yeah it's hard for me to tell if it's a good emotionally difficult or bad. Probably a mix of both. I think that's a good point about the audiobook. The reason this part of the book has been more difficult is that she has gotten to a point that is beyond where I have gone, but everything up to that point has been so relatable, so in some ways it feels like looking at my future.

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A11eyRat t1_iua4dkj wrote

I hope you consider maybe taking a break and picking up a more light and cheery book until the feelings of despair subside. You can always come back to this book when you are feeling a bit better.

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FlimsyTry2892 t1_iuc53y4 wrote

Just pace yourself if need be. I just read that a month ago. I was diagnosed with severe bipolar about a year and a half ago at age 42, so I’ve spent some time under the jar. Some of the content hot a little close to home but the poetic way in which she writes made it impossible for me to stop reading.

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jugstheclown t1_iucc176 wrote

This happened to me with A Little Life. I just read it slowly, put the book down when it became too much. Skimmed through a passage here and there if it was too graphic (I’m thinking of one particular section in that book involving >!Jude and Caleb!<)

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