Which book or series taught your teenage self the most about sex?

Submitted by kindafunnylookin t3_yhohhy in books

Assuming you weren't regularly flicking through the Kama Sutra or Joy of Sex as a young teen, which book or series taught you the most about what sex was supposed to be like?

For me it was a combination of Desmond Morris's The Naked Ape to learn the mechanical stuff, and Jean Auel's Clan of the Cave Bear series (especially the second book) for the real "how to do it properly" lessons.

Expecting a lot of mentions of Judy Blume's Forever too.

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hmm_okay t1_iuev56r wrote

I learnt on the job.

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Yanowknow t1_iuevcie wrote

You can't learn that from a book, man. It's trial and error and error throughout your teenage years.

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PrettyWeirdstop t1_iueyhrj wrote

It's on russian called - "The bride of crystal dragon" . I was 12

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justdrinkingsometea t1_iuf08zf wrote

Joy of Sex, my local library had a copy. I didn't check it out so much as I stole it for several months. I copied down whole chapters in my journal and then when I was done took it back and put ot back on the shelf. No one ever knew.

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feyenchantress t1_iuf0toj wrote

Sidney Sheldon books. I don't think my mom remembered what was in them when she let me read them.

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Wattryn t1_iuf1iei wrote

For mechanics and all, definitely fanfic, but Kushiel's Dart's "love as thou wilt" messaging really helped form my attitudes and ethical views.

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Sigyn_Clematis t1_iuf1ygn wrote

Man, I just played with my barbies. They were a bunch of sluts in my pubescent years. Books were attained from the library in my day so I couldn't get anything on the subject and wat hing movies was a no go. I wasn't going to talk to my parents and tell them I fantasized about being Jasmine and Jafar was really into my outfits and taking them off and doing all the things.

This reflection explains so much about my love life now....hmm.

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02kaj2019 t1_iuf22nw wrote

Scruples. Found an old copy at a family member’s house one summer and was like 🤯

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snark4days t1_iuf4610 wrote

Summer Sisters by Judy Blume, which I should not have been reading as a freshman in high school probably

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Glitz-1958 t1_iuf52w8 wrote

The Oxford English Dictionary.

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CatTaxAuditor t1_iuf8ck2 wrote

Fanfiction taught me more about sex than anything traditionally published.

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Mammoth-Albatross-16 t1_iufcjcd wrote

Not really sex but, I got my period at 8 and was never thought what it was, until I was 13. I got a book, called titeuf et le zizi sexuel I believe, it means Titeuf and the sexual peepee. Titeuf is a famous cartoon character boy in France, kinda like idk gumball. But he is a immature 13 years old boy and the books talks about puberty, and how to make babies in a childish way

I learned sex, periods , and everything.

There was even a hole on the book to put ur finger, and it made a penis, and it was a silly drawing made by kids, really fun book

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TrekkieElf t1_iufgq0p wrote

I swiped one of my moms romance novels haha. I was probably about 18, I was very prudish. If a fantasy novel had too graphic stuff when I was younger I’d stop reading. Anyway it was called a Courtesan’s Guide to Getting your Man.

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This_Inside_6421 t1_iufov3u wrote

I wouldn’t say any book taught me much about sex. But Ellen Hopkins books were really popular when I was in middle school/early high school & they cover a range of darker topics (addiction, sex work, etc). My friends & I were the book crowd so we read a lot of books that were probably a little too old for us. So these books I would say maybe opened my eyes to the darker side of sex, not the super romanticized things that you see on tv. If that makes any sense

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dzenib t1_iufwxks wrote

My best friends big sister had a copy of the "The Surrogate Wife" that we got our hands on in middle school.

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Mystical_Triforce t1_iug28tw wrote

Teenagers should be in church and not thinking about sex. You should heed the words of Jesus when he said this place was a setup.

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jellyrollo t1_iugcoff wrote

After my parents got divorced in the early '80s, my dad used to leave his copy of The Joy of Sex lying around on the coffee table, which was quite educational for a 12-year-old. There were always Playboy magazines lying around throughout my childhood, and he kept the kinkier stuff in the bottom drawer of his dresser.

Library-wise, Erica Jong was probably the most reliable author I discovered as a teen for reading about people having sex.

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DownloadedBear t1_iugr0cm wrote

I think I just found a penthouse my dad was hiding, didn’t realize there was anything wrong with it, then got in trouble for having it, then I found some old western romance novels my mom was hiding and that had all the descriptions I needed to put the penthouse in context

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Lily_Roza t1_iugs8n8 wrote

Replying to Liiceka (#359,913)

Then you're one of the lucky ones. People who wait until after age 20 to have sex are more successful, and have happier marriages.

There are plenty of people who regret their teenage sexual experiences.

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Liiceka t1_iugxrb0 wrote

Replying to Lily_Roza (#372,202)

I hope you're right but my anxiety-riddled mind isn't even able to develop the courage to ask for a date.

Also, i feel like the regret part is kind of a grass is always greener situation.

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Yukikaguya t1_iuh6vd2 wrote

Wasn't aware people learned about sex from books. Seems a little too disconnected to be impactful.

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HangryBeard t1_iuhc7ff wrote

None, besides the Godfather making me learn how to hide an awkward boner in 9th grade. Books are not the greatest choice anyways when it comes to learning about sex. It's very much an on the job training type of thing. But if you are thinking about having sex and are worried about looking like a complete and utter dunce, familiarize yourself with the all the bits through the internet. NOT PORN but diagrams of what's what and what's sensitive. Maybe an article on how to do something or what to be careful of. Then again partners can be significantly different and things that work for one couple may not work for you.

Honestly the best way to learn about sex is none of the above, but rather through open communication with your partner in the bedroom. It might be clumsy at first. that's ok. No one expects you to be Casanova your first time. Pay attention to how your partner responds to touches and listen when tell to do or not to do something and be open with what you will and won't do without feeling pressured to do something that makes you uncomfortable.

In a more personal note make sure it means something. Make sure they mean something. You are going to remember that moment with absolute clarity for probably the rest of your life so make it a good memory.

Ok friend sorry if that's more than you asked for. But I felt it needed saying. Have fun learning about the birds and the bees whatever your route.

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boxer_dogs_dance t1_iuifudk wrote

Replying to hmm_okay (#356,168)

Disagree. I suppose you also think Youtube videos are needed to learn auto mechanics, or autocad for mechanical design and architecture.

As for working against you, porn is normalizing choking and other dangerous play with no disclosure about risk.

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hmm_okay t1_iuih3i2 wrote

Replying to boxer_dogs_dance (#388,422)

You're arguing my point... learn by doing. Swapping an engine or changing oil is a wee bit more technical, books are well suited to those types of endeavors.

Reading about how to have great sex, as a teenager, can be just as absurd as relying on porn to teach you.

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