mongreldogchild t1_irzqt6w wrote
Reply to comment by FrustratingMangooose in The hidden transphobia in "The Art of Being Normal" by hayzulhay
>I mean, if this were true, then the need to transition would be unnecessary. If you have not transitioned (medically, socially, etc.), then how are you already the opposite gender? Because you feel like it? It does not work like that. Quite the contrary, the reason why most trans people transition is because they are not already the gender to which they feel attached.
You're assuming an entire group of people off your understanding on a topic. Most of the people I know, my own experience, and from others online has been to seek medical transitioning to ease gender dysphoria. This isn't the only perspective, but it's the most common one I hear.
>I suppose it is more progressive using colorful language, but the last part seems emotionally driven if trans people have never said, “I was born a boy” and “I used to be [gender].” I say that all the time. It’s simple, straightforward, and better for me. Everyone has a different way of explaining they are transgender.
I say that too, but it's because people don't understand and think I'm a trans woman if I'm not straightforward about what people perceived me as before. It doesn't reflect how I feel about myself or how I felt about myself. I was always a man (except when I was a boy).
>I think you should rewrite this review with less emotionally-driven thoughts because some things are subjective to each trans person, and you make it abundantly clear throughout your review that you were expecting this story to tightly fit your experience as a trans person, which is wrong to justify attacking the author for not catering to your experience.
You just did this exact thing to OP but pushing forward your own perspective as the "real" trans experience.
>I think you need to give the author the benefit of the doubt. We need to stop saying everyone is transphobic without justifiable reasons. While I would have preferred a trans person to write a story like this, I appreciate that a ciswoman tried her best to not only understand our struggle but equally try to represent it. Keyword: try. I am not saying she did anything award-winning, but the effort shows, and it was a step in the right direction.
No one needs to give anyone the benefit of the doubt, but you're in luck because OP literally did just that. Multiple times OP gave the author the benefit of the doubt. Why are you complaining?
You can criticize something while enjoying it and even finding it helpful (in comparison to the norm). You can also be thankful for something while realizing it was not what you wanted and didn't do you or anyone else any good in having it.
FrustratingMangooose t1_irzv8cp wrote
> You’re assuming an entire group of people off your understanding of a topic.
Nope. I said most trans people for a reason, just like you. You agreed to my point anyway, lol.
> I say that too, but it’s because people don’t understand and think I’m a trans woman if I’m not straightforward about what people perceived me as before.
That’s why I said everyone has a different way of explaining they are transgender. I mentioned that there is nothing wrong with a trans individual saying it is a response to what the OP was saying.
> [...] Pushing forward your perspective as the “real” trans experience.
No. I make it clear which parts are my perspective, most of which are direct responses to the OP’s expectation that the author writes a “trans experience” as contrived and cliché; that, while not every trans individual will experience the same struggle, it exists.
> No one needs to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. [...]
That is why I said, “I think you should,” which was not an obligation. It was a suggestion. The OP can do whatever they want; I do not care enough to “complain.” Lol.
mongreldogchild t1_irzxsvg wrote
>Nope. I said most trans people for a reason, just like you.
You didn't quantify it in the same way. You said "this is the way most trans people feel". You also said that most trans people aren't their gender, they feel like they are, otherwise transitioning would be pointless lmao
>That’s why I said everyone has a different way of explaining they are transgender
I agree with this, it doesn't change the fact that this isn't coming from a trans person. It's a cis person and many cis people phrase it this way because they don't understand.
>No. I make it clear which parts are my perspective, most of which are direct responses to the OP’s expectation that the author writes a “trans experience” as contrived and cliché; that, while not every trans individual will experience the same struggle, it exists.
Except when you didn't. Like stating most trans people (not the ones you know, not even yourself or your friends as a metric, MOST) trans people think this way and see themselves this way.
You criticized OP's method of writing this because it didn't conform to your expectations of a review. You also said OP is expecting the author to cater to their experience. Which is the exact thing you're doing. You both write your perspectives in the exact same way, but your perspective fits with the book.
>That is why I said, “I think you should,” which was not an obligation. It was a suggestion. The OP can do whatever they want; I do not care enough to “complain.” Lol.
You complained about their tone for two paragraphs and told them what you wanted them to do. The fact that you couched it with "I think" doesn't change that.
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