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librician t1_iy49onf wrote

I read the sample that’s available online. I think it would be good for people to understand that this book presupposes some universality in experiences of mothers—that there is a duality to the mother daughter relationship, but it includes an expectation that if the daughter shares hurts the mother will attempt to soothe. As a person who does not have a mother with the capacity to be generous, I found this alienating. Parental estrangement is incredibly common in the west, and I was hoping this book might be broad enough to have tools for those of us with problematic parents. Unfortunately it is written from the perspective of someone who is not considering that one in five people has a parental estrangement. I felt very sad reading it, very othered.

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uuuuuummmmm_actually OP t1_iy4fg3e wrote

If it makes a difference the author did address and acknowledged abusive mother/daughter relationships, including sexual abuse, physical abuse, and emotional abuse, and how powerful a mother’s acknowledgement of the impact of her abuse can be for her daughter/child.

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librician t1_iy4iem0 wrote

That’s an expression of the same othering perspective—I mean, of course it would be meaningful if my mother had the capacity to take responsibility for her part in things. I’m glad this book exists, it’s just not for people like me.

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BookishBitching t1_iy4t10y wrote

Thanks for this comment, I was considering reading this, but I have a similar relationship with mine. Only her needs are valid, everyone else is a selfish narcissist according to her. I'll just re-read I'm Glad My Mom Died instead.

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GarlicTeapot t1_iy4t1yc wrote

Thanks for the heads up <3 sounds like this books doesn't apply to me either

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