ImJustSaying34 t1_iydcgxo wrote
Reply to comment by rfdavid in Are the divergent series appropriate for a 14-years old? by [deleted]
100% agree! My husband and I were talking about if there are any books we would ever let our kid not read. I was allowed to read whatever I whatever whenever as a kid and I plan to do the same. But we did come up with just one book series we will not allow our kids to read. One that I’m fine censoring and banning and burning into oblivion.
>!50 shades of Gray!<
rfdavid t1_iydcs7t wrote
I live in a pretty conservative town and the heart stopper books were either banned or at the very least controversial. The good news is my 14 y/o daughter was interested due to the controversy and now she’s read the entire series and has moved on to other YA fiction. Thanks book banners.
jackgomad t1_iydwxaz wrote
Good for her - they're wonderful. The people wanting to ban them are decidedly not.
avolordo t1_iydfyh7 wrote
Agree! I have Game of Thrones on the list too (not banned to oblivion, but she wanted to read them at age 12) but now that my kid is almost 16 I might let that one go. We have a rule that if movies are based off a book, the book has to be read first.
carlitospig t1_iydr327 wrote
It’ll take them forever to get through it, and by then they’ll be adult. Well done, loophole locked down. 😎
avolordo t1_iye4j85 wrote
Exactly! She is a speed reader though, I can only hope it takes her that long to get through them 🤣
BrilliantApricot1223 t1_iye01i9 wrote
> We have a rule that if movies are based off a book, the book has to be read first.
Why do you feel that is necessary? Just curious as to your reasoning.
Low_Revenue_3521 t1_iye17e0 wrote
We have the same rule. It's partly based on so many dreadful adaptations of books, partly as a way of encouraging slightly reluctant readers to try something different, and partly because I feel that if possible you should try the original before trying adaptations/versions/retellings.
My kids have adapted the rule to say "you have to experience the original first", so if the film or TV series came first, that's what you go for first.
Its not a hard and fast rule, I don't micromanage their reading, but my eldest was delighted when she accidentally followed the rule with Romeo and Juliet/West Side Story/These Violet Delights.
BrilliantApricot1223 t1_iye23ca wrote
That's interesting! I'm just curious because I've discovered so many things by watching something, then reading the book afterwards. I think it's a great way to discover something new.
For example, I didn't read Handmaid's Tale until after the show. I wasn't sure if I would enjoy it or not, but I love the show, so I went ahead and read the book.
I think it's a good way to explore something you're not comfortable with without diving too far in.
My daughter is only 15 months old, so I haven't come across this kind of issue yet, but I've already started considering how to approach these things.
avolordo t1_iye5rq7 wrote
Doing it in reverse is great too! I never would have read through Neil Gaiman without watching Good Omens or blowing through GoT after the first season because I didn’t want it to end. Reading requires more time, patience, and imagination than a movie or show so anything that will motivate a child to read wins. I found that bribing with the movie after the book helped and also severely limiting screen time while young so that it was more of a reward when it was earned.
BrilliantApricot1223 t1_iye6376 wrote
That's absolutely fair! I was just curious as to your reasoning, because honestly, I've never heard that rule before.
You're right, whatever gets someone reading is the winner, in my opinion, be it movie first, or book first!
avolordo t1_iye3t3s wrote
We felt the same way. Movies cut so much out of the books. We also wanted to encourage reading over screen time. If she wanted to watch a movie she had to read a book and she only got one movie a week of screen time m until she was in middle school.
We were more strict when she was younger and have loosened it up a lot. She also was pretty sensitive to scary/suspenseful scenes so knowing what will happen from reading it first helped temper her fearful reaction a little.
At 16 she is a major bookworm and has an incredibly creative mind. For more adult content like Game of Thrones I would absolutely still make her read first. Either way, she loves critiquing movie adaptations now and we have a lot of fun conversations about good and bad scenes, casting, set, what we’d change and how etc.
L0udFlow3r t1_iydy8t6 wrote
Tell her she can read it when WOW is released.
SpiderSmoothie t1_iydf1gv wrote
I think the most important thing in these cases is to know your kid and their maturity level and to be involved in their reading process. By that I mean know what they're reading, read it yourself, and be available to discuss concepts and events and answer any questions your kid may have regarding their reading. I was like you, when I was growing up I read whatever I wanted without restrictions. My parents weren't involved though. They didn't know what I was reading and didn't care. I was pretty mature and was able to handle whatever I picked out but I also think it would have been nice to have a close enough relationship with my parents to be able to ask questions if I'd had them.
Jade_GL t1_iydl5u5 wrote
My parents were the same way. My mother only said that I couldn't read one book series, and that was based on what my aunt told her. That was The Sleeping Beauty trilogy by Anne Rice, which were like the mid 90s 50 Shades I think, just better written.
My mom got the warning because I was really into Anne Rice's Vampire books, so I would be trying to read anything else by her that I could get my preteen/teenage hands on. They just told me it was erotica in more vague terms. I was cool with it, I had tons of other stuff to read anyway. :D
Rominions t1_iydq65b wrote
50 shades of grey is bad, not because of sexual scenes or bdsm. But that it romantises someone so narcissistic and just generally a horrible person. Also don't forget that book is a stolen story, from the movie "the secretary" even uses the same names mr Grey.
CrayZ_Squirrel t1_iydqtd6 wrote
It's also just reskined twilight fanfiction. Not to mention some of the worst prose I've ever seen. It's just plain bad
PfizerGuyzer t1_iydxt36 wrote
But like, you shouldn't prevent your kid from reading it because of that. It's a great piece for life lessons. "Do you like Anastasia? She sure does let Christian do a lot of stuff to her, and doesn't ever take control of her own life. Is that what you want for yourself, when you grow up?"
carlitospig t1_iydr6tq wrote
I thought it was twilight fanfic?
Silverjackal_ t1_iydf3q5 wrote
There’s a few other popular ones that fit nearly the same theme. I’d not let them read those either. Something like Twilight? Eh, it’s bad but at least they’re reading.
carlitospig t1_iydqzd0 wrote
A 14 yr old doesn’t need to know about butt plugs or the overuse of the internal monologue ‘oh my’.
Such a sorry excuse for fanfiction.
ImJustSaying34 t1_iye8mkb wrote
It’s not even the sex stuff that bothers me. It’s the whole persona of Christian Grey. One it’s just bad writing. And two he is just the worst and my kid isn’t old enough to not get swayed by the hot rich guy.
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