Why didn’t I enjoy Conversations With Friends? What did you like about it?

Submitted by zeroschiuma t3_zy7g1e in books

I just finished reading Conversations With Friends by Sally Rooney and I am worried as to why I did not like it.

I can easily appreciate how pleasant Rooney’s writing is and on paper this novel was supposed to tick all the boxes to be, if not my all time favourite, a great read to bring along on holidays.

Female main character, some social themes, romance, an unconventional love or two and, interestingly, if I tell the story out-loud, I still see its appeal.

Still, I find myself entirely disapproving of the whole thing.

The main character has a weird way of being self-critical and absolutely insufferable all throughout. It seems like everyone likes her much more than she likes them, but her inner monologue seems to be only focus on how much she would like to be loved more.

Even more infuriating to me is how all social discourse is treated as conversation pieces. How can you be excused with addressing such burning topics in a novel primarily revolving around love? Is it just to make it deeper than it actually is, to enrich the whole things to it’s appealing to a more mature, millennial audience?

I’ve been struggling to see how it became the sensation it is.

I have considered all possibilities, including that I have become somehow too bourgeois to just enjoy good writing. I turned 30 this year after all.

But honestly now TL;DR - Is it just me, or is Conversations With Friends too much, but weirdly not enough?

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lostinaboook t1_j24dv58 wrote

According to my grandma, there are two types of wine: those you like and those you don't like. I think that applies to many other things, including books.

After reading Normal People, I realized that I don't like Sally Rooney's writing. But that doesn't make her a bad novelist nor does it make me weird.

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zeroschiuma OP t1_j24eihw wrote

Your grandma is a very wise woman and I enjoyed this comment much more than I did Conversations With Friends.

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[deleted] t1_j245wb8 wrote

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zeroschiuma OP t1_j2468l5 wrote

Thank you, I feel relieved! I’m just confused, I don’t understand why it bothers me so much 😮‍💨😂

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yejejil425 t1_j24bpnm wrote

You're not alone. The character is insufferable. DNFed. Every page felt exhausting to turn as the story progressed and if a book makes me feel that way, I find that it's best to end it beforehand.

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Slow_Chemistry_2359 t1_j25ibrd wrote

I've read all of Sally Rooney's novels and I've enjoyed all of them. Yes her characters are pretentious and can be unlikeable but I still found them to be realistic esoecially Rooney's descriptions of feelings/emotions.

There's a particular scene in Conversations with Friends where the protagonist is on stage and she senses the love interest in the crowd and describes the effort it takes not to look at him - this is me when I have a crush!

I'm also Irish and living in Dublin so being familiar with the places described also adds to my enjoyment.

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hpghost62442 t1_j26dekj wrote

I was very ambivalent until the ending, when the entire arc of the story just seemed to fill me with emotion. I'm definitely in the target audience and related to the main characters' insufferable qualities, so it made me reflect on that. You're definitely not too bourgeois haha, I think it mostly appeals to white women in their early 20s

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zeroschiuma OP t1_j271yf8 wrote

I understand, and appreciate I am probably not the target audience any longer

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Ok_Wave2581 t1_j27f6m9 wrote

I disliked book b/c I wasn’t sold on this attractive, successful couple befriending (not really the right word…) these two random college girls in the way they did. And for the story to work, I needed to really understand that, and I wasn’t sold. At all.

“Normal People” was OK, but I enjoyed the TV Series more than the book (rare occurrence).

No more Rooney on my TBR list.

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goscoutgo t1_j245og4 wrote

I actually felt the same way — I can’t really articulate why but I agree with your points! Now i’m hesitant to pick up any other SR novels even though they are highly regarded. Have you had luck with any of her others?

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zeroschiuma OP t1_j24639b wrote

Hi, I am so happy to hear I’m not alone in this! I was just now sitting in the kitchen with my partner lashing out some more on how much better the whole thing could have been! Anyway I have Normal People too in my backpack and I’m far from home, so I guess I will be giving it a chance before 2023. Why do I do this to myself, why

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