Yeah that's understandable. I've noticed that people who grow up with the same kinda deal as you (the shitty aspects of Christianity/religion/Bible), if they want to rebel against their upbringing or culture, will be attracted to memes (in the technical sense) that're antagonistic towards it (mall goth Satanism, Instagram occult), which is fine but the tragic part is that people are conditioned in a way to not be able to enjoy what value it does have.