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lydiardbell t1_j1uq75u wrote

In my experience, the majority of personal development books could have been summarized as a blog post, even with the ones with some sort of valid backing. I tried a couple when I was younger and (even more) insecure, but I don't bother with them now.

A personal favourite is one that spent 50 pages building up to the author's magical secret career- and relationship-seeking lifehack: "if you don't want to do something, do it anyway." And then the next 150 pages was testimonials from Twitter and comments in the author's Facebook page.

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untorches t1_j1v0bri wrote

> "if you don't want to do something, do it anyway."

There's no way there isn't a world where this is the title of a best-selling self-help book.

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missasch t1_j1uuy6a wrote

I’ve found the same thing! It’s like almost the whole books is fluff made to make the book look impressive.

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corycrater t1_j1wm1sx wrote

I’m always so shocked by the insanely high Goodreads ratings on personal development / self help books. I picked up Atomic Habits and immediately found it had nothing to say that I didn’t already know.

Although, I do believe certain people benefit from just being told to do something (even if they already knew they were supposed to said thing). And to those people I say all the power to ya.

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DevilsOfLoudun t1_j1wvnj3 wrote

I think reading books like Atomic Habits gives people instant serotonin boost, especially because they already know the information. They're like "yes, tomorrow I will do this and my life will change!". Sometimes reading about things feels as good as actually doing them and our brains can't tell the difference.

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FeloniousSausage t1_j1ytbsc wrote

This is akin to the (not-book related) idea that telling people your goal decreases your chances of reaching it because it causes a big dopamine hit.

"I'm gonna lose weight in 2019 2020 2021 2022 2023." Tell everybody, feel good about it, don't follow through on it.

Reading a book that gives an easy boost of serotonin or dopamine could have a similar effect through affirmation.

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MsAnthropic t1_j1x7291 wrote

Sometimes it’s just a matter of something clicking with you, whether it’s because of repetition, right timing, or subtle wording change. Everyone knows they should eat vegetables, get plenty of sleep, and exercise — but oftentimes we can’t get ourselves to do it regularly without a bit of a mental push.

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julian_devid OP t1_j1w010x wrote

oooh that's interesting, have you read a book about "wealth" for example rich dad poor dad, the richest man in Babylon etc. what do you think of these?

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TaliesinsEnd t1_j1wevu3 wrote

The only useful pieces of advice I found when I was into reading these were from Ramit Sethi.

A lot of his stuff is fluff but three that stuck out and helped me a lot in life were:

- Automate your finances. Autopay for bills, try to get them to happen all at the same time of the month so that you know when 95%+ of your bills are paid, deposits should go to savings and investment accounts as soon as possible and preferably before it even makes it into your checking account to begin with.

- It is far easier to make more money than it is to cut enough expenses to make a real difference in your life. Cutting expenses and sticking to personal austerity measures is also mentally exhausting whereas earning more tends to be energizing. I know this piece isn't for everyone. It worked well for me but one size doesn't fit all and I absolutely don't advocate side hustle culture as the end goal of personal finance. In my situation I went from working a more traditional role 70-80 hour weeks with constant office drama to consulting 40 hours a week and earning substantially more.

- You define what rich means in your life. Prioritize the stuff that's really important to you (even if it's something extravagant like a personal chef or chauffer) and don't bother with the crap that isn't as important. For me this manifests in having groceries delivered, a service pick up the dog poop from my yard, etc. because I put a high value on my personal time. Areas I don't really give a damn about/don't spend on include my car. I work from home, my only driving is to and from daycare. I feel absolutely no pressure to buy up from my 2015 Subaru while most of my neighbors have 6 figure vehicles.

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boxer_dogs_dance t1_j1wa847 wrote

I found a few useful points in the Millionaire Next Door. Likewise Eat that Frog. The Black Swan and Antifragile legitimately changed my perspective on some things.

But I think a lot of these books are just preying on insecurities and selling snake oil.

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EmpRupus t1_j1ygpja wrote

Not the same person but here's my take.

Self-help books are good if they address a very specific problem you are personally struggling with.

Like as an introvert, Susan Cain's "Quiet" helped me a lot. Or I had organizing problems at my job, and Marie Kondo's "Joy at Work" helped me a lot.

But if it is a random generic book like - 10 Habits of Rich People, or How to hack your mind and max your success, etc., they are either scams, or, they are a retelling of already well-known advice and not useful.

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