read this a few months ago after my friend listed it as one of her all time faves. im cis hetero so couldn't directly relate to the gender/sex issues (while wholly appreciated how thoughtfully it was written) but as 1st gen the thing that personally struck me was how wonderfully it captured the charming yet uncomfortable cultural dichotomy between our immigrant parents' "old world" life and the americanized middle class "new world" they gave us. >!(cal standing guard for the funeral killed me) !<for that alone this was one of the most relatable and deeply touching novels I've ever read