Start it with “In the <year of birth>, <father’s name> was born. This made a lot of people very angry and was generally seen as having been a bad idea. We, his family and friends, more or less respectfully disagree…”

Just as long as it ends with "he was a hoopy frood who really knew where his towel was".

“You know,” said Arthur, “it’s at times like this, when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.” “Why, what did she tell you?” “I don’t know, I didn’t listen.”

. The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied.

Possible conclusion: "Dad, on behalf of all of us down here we'd just like to say: 'We apologize for the inconvenience.' "

&#x200B;

Also, condolences on your loss.

I’m so sorry to hear about your father. I found giving my father’s eulogy last year to be very cathartic - I hope it brings you the same peace that mine did for me.

Only because you specifically said funny is okay:

How about starting it off, without preamble or explanation, with a Vogon poetry reading.

My father's passing was unexpected - so when I spoke, I used this, which I thought captured the impossibility of understanding something so senseless. It may not apply here, depending on circumstances:

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." (from The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

Others that are potentially useful:

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife." (from Life, the Universe, and Everything)

"The quality of any advice anybody has to offer has to be judged against the quality of life they actually lead.” (from Mostly Harmless)

Whatever you go with, you're awesome and I'm sure your dad knew it.

This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

One Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, a girl sitting on her own in a small café in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything. Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, the Earth was unexpectedly demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass, and so the idea was lost, seemingly for ever.

-- change a few things around to make it personal to him and that's a quote any Adam's fan would be happy with.

This is a lovely idea!

For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”

You could tell everyone that he's spending a year dead for tax purposes, like Hotblack

You can read the bit about Saint Antwelm (the king who believed that what people really want is a good party, willed his fortune to that, and was canonized for it)

Personally, I like the bit about Arthur making sandwiches - I think it speaks to the joys of a simple life

If I were you, I'd slap a hot pink somebody else's problem field on top of the coffin and then have a funny speech with quotes to explain it. (They sell bright pink sequined duvet covers for little kids that aren't too expensive)

You could give the eulogy in your bathrobe (ideally with a bone in your beard)

If your dad drank or partied, can you serve gin and tonics (or pan galactic gargleblasters) during the eulogy? My dad died this year, and he drank a lot and dislked religion, so I served booze during the eulogy and played the parting glass in lieu of prayers or a hymn

End with So long and thanks for all the fish

And I'm sorry about your dad and proud of you for sending him off with a laugh - I think that hoopy frood would be proud of you too

Sorry for your loss.

How about this:

so long - and thanks for all the fish

I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounds like he was a good dad with a great sense of humor.

There is a book by Adams called "Last Chance to See" and it's both funny and a little meloncholy because he visits a lot of endangered animals. I don't have any quotes off the top of my head, but I'd really recommend reading that one if you haven't already. I think it will resonate with love and loss and grieving.

https://kirpag.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/quotes-from-the-hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy/

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

You could mention that 42 in computing code is an asterisk, which would imply that one has to make one's own meaning, that life itself.os meaningless, but to build meaningful relationships is the purpose of life.

My condolences, he sounds great.

The story so far: “In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

In a world full of Vognons that wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders – signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters, your dad made your life brighter and happier.

Mixed quotes from two books together.

Suggest opening with:

> There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

> There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

This leads naturally into some discussion of the meaning of it all, etc.

If you want to include more of the works in your eulogy, I would suggest the “dolphins v. humans” quote (also mentioned above):

> On the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.

This would lead into a discussion of how your Dad was properly focused on the little joys of life, over the grand achievements and the mistreatment of others required to accomplish those.

Very sorry for your loss, good luck preparing your speech.

Sorry for your loss. Not from HGG but here is what I love.

From Thich Nhat Hanh.  

When we come to grips with our mortality—and realize that we aren’t going to live forever—the preciousness of everything in life emerges from the depths of our minds and our experience of life changes significantly.  If you’re anything like me, you might have moments when you get reminded of your mortality—when you are touched by an emotional scene in a movie, or when you pass by a car accident, or when a loved one gets sick or dies—and after you spend some time feeling sad, upset, or philosophical, you go right back to living without death in mind and unintentionally live taking life for granted.   

And while I don’t think that we should live with death always on our minds, I think that finding ways that we can remind ourselves of our impermanence on a daily basis can definitely have positive effects on happiness in ourselves and others. When we carry mortality around in the forefront of our minds, life becomes increasingly precious.  We see what we may never see again; smell what we may never smell again; hear what we may never hear again; touch what we may never touch again; and taste what we may never taste again—and we enter a blissful state of deep gratitude and appreciation for what we have in each moment of each day.

Oh no, not again.

“He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”

“If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”

“Did I do anything wrong today," he said, "or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice?”

"Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans."

"The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied."

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife."

"All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it’s pretty damn complicated in the first place."

Arrange 6 pints of bitter, a bowl of peanuts and a towel alongside the casket or urn. He'll get it!

Hello, I feel your pain. My dad died just this past August. We had a quiet grave side memorial for him but I still miss him every day. At 13 he read me the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and by the end these 18 years later I probably knew it and was a bigger dork for it than he was.

In the Restaurant at the End of the Universe we have the Ruler of the Universe. He turns out to be an old man who just wants to be left alone with his cat and is not sure if anything actually exists, but he is the most peaceful character.

I hope whatever passage you read gives you peace and if you want to talk then stick this fish in your ear and send me a message. Life is complicated. Grieving is difficult.

"Life will be a great deal less weird without you." From the fifth book of the trilogy.

Maybe a joke that he "Never could get the hang of Thursdays" unless that's too insensitive for people.

“So long and thanks for all the fish” That would be a good ending to lighten the mood It’s been so long since I’ve read that book and I don’t know your dad so maybe not but adding a little light heartiness to the sad is always appreciated in hard times

There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind.

First, Your dad had excellent taste. Second, I'm really sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad this week too and it sucks. Hang in there.

My best friend passed away suddenly a few years ago. I struggle with expressing my emotions, and I was still in shock when the funeral happened, and I hadn't cried. His dad was there and i was doing my best to hold my shit together. Anyway... that bastard had made his funeral plan already and the reading (read by a very confused and very elderly friend of the family) was vogon poetry. I've never ugly cried more in my life, and it is strangely one of my fondest memories.

I loved my friend so much and I miss him every day. He he was able to hit me right in the feelings with his wit, charm, and nonsense one last time.

Bring a small towel rolled up.

Don’t panic

Douglas Adams also wrote a book series called “Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency”. Here are some fun quotes from that

I rarely end up where I was intending to go, but often I end up somewhere I needed to be

Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.

...was friend the word? He seemed more like a succession of extraordinary events than a person.

What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that’s really the essence of programming. By the time you’ve sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you’ve certainly learned something about it yourself. The teacher usually learns more than the pupil. Isn’t that true?

So long, and thanks for all the fish

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,

Thy micturations are to me,

As plurdled gabbleblotchits, in midsummer morning

On a lurgid bee

Maybe some of the bits where the ghost of Zaphod Beeblebrox IV is talking to the crew while the Vogons attack.

And condolences on the loss of your father.

Sorry for your loss and just your thought to quote Adams says good things about the both of you. I always loved this one: "Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans."

Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.

Got a friend who’s willing to pop up near the end of services as the Great Prophet Zarquon?

“Er... Hello. Er, look, I'm sorry I'm a bit late. I've had the most ghastly time, all sorts of things cropping up at the last moment... Er, how are we for time? Have I got just a min...”

Aaaaaaand that’s it. Go in peace. Hail and farewell to your dad.

So long folks and thanks for all the fish!

I'm sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like he was a great guy.

One of my favourites has always been:

"Anything that happens, happens.

Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.

Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.

It doesn’t necessarily do it in chronological order, though."

I suggest "The Hitchhiker's Guide entry for <insert name> reads simply: mostly harmless.

God’s last message to his creation.

Sorry for your loss. He had a great sense of humor!

Don’t panic.

You have to mention he always brought a towel with him

i am so sorry!

“Dads last words were ‘so long, and thanks for all the fish’”

I'd suggest the news segment on Zaphod.

Zaphod invented the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. He was voted "Worst Dressed Sentient Being in the Known Universe" seven consecutive times. He's been described as "the best Bang since the Big One" by Eccentrica Gallumbits, and as "one hoopy frood" by others.His brain-care specialist, Gag Halfrunt, also said, "Vell, Zaphod's just zis guy, you know?"

Or something similar. Very sorry for your loss.

So long and thanks for all the fish

You could potentially make an allusion to “the answer to life, the universe, everything” and follow it up by saying something about how we may never know the answer (though you suspect it’s 42), but he lived his life as close to that true meaning as anyone could.

I’m sorry for your loss, but I’m happy to hear that you have some really precious memories you’ve shared together. Grief is funny in how it touches the things we love even when it’s not funny in how it touches the people we love.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I always liked this, hm, sudden "humanisation" of Arthur:

"Arthur Dent," comes the cry from the furthest reaches of the galaxy, and has even now been found inscribed on a mysterious deep space probe thought to originate from an alien galaxy at a distance too hideous to contemplate, "what is he, man or mouse? Is he interested in nothing more than tea and the wider issues of life? Has he no spirit? has he no passion? Does he not, to put it in a nutshell, fuck?"

Or maybe you could build something around God's last message to his creation ("We apologize for the inconvenience") and Marvin's reaction to it.

Condolences to you. I wish I could say anything more that would be directly helpful.

There’s some great stuff here already but it might be worth a reference to:

“It must be Thursday, thought Arthur. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”

There’s a few quotes from Adams’ Dirk Gently books that might be good too, depending on what fits:

“He had a tremendous propensity for getting lost when driving. This was largely because of his method of “Zen” navigation, which was simply to find any car that looked as if it knew where it was going and follow it. The results were more often surprising than successful, but he felt it was worth it for the sake of the few occasions when it was both.”

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”

 -Long Dark Teatime Of The Soul

“...his horoscope had been pretty misleading as well. It had mentioned an unusual amount of planetary activity in his sign and had urged him to differentiate between what he thought he wanted and what he actually needed, and suggested that he should tackle emotional or work problems with determination and complete honesty, but had inexplicably failed to mention that he would be dead before the day was out.”

 - Holistic Detective Agency

Thursday? Never could get the hang of Thursdays.

I'm sorry for your loss.

So long, and thanks for all the fish

This makes my heart ache in a happy and sad way. My father is still around but my mother passed away almost 10 years ago. My dad is a HUGE Douglas Adams Fan, and in the 80’s even took a towel to a convention to get it signed. He has that signed towel somewhere, stored in a box to prevent light damage.

Condolences for your loss, but thank you for this lovely thread and comments I get to read. ❤️

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like a hoopy frood who really knew where his towel was.

Hugs, Reddit friend.

The entire audiobook series is available free on Internet Archive if you’d like to scrub through for quotes

“It was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea”.

Substitute “a dad” for “tea”.

Check out the good reads page the book. Sometimes there are quotes from the book .

In the beginning of Life, the Universe, and Everything there’s a really good bit about Arthur deciding today was the day he’d go mad and finding himself chasing a Chesterfield sofa across a prehistoric field shortly after. I don't know your dad but there’s a lot of room for analogies and loving silliness with this passage. I’m sorry you are having to do this.

Start by putting a pot of petunias on the casket.

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Thanks for all the fish.

So long and thanks for all the fish