When Breath Becomes Air

Submitted by 0dteSPYFDs t3_10gdoh7 in books

Background:

Paul Kalanithi is on the brink of realizing all of his hopes, dreams and ambitions as neurosurgeon-neuroscientist, when he finds out he has stage IV lung cancer shortly before completing his residency. After a lifetime of cultivating his identity, he suddenly has to piece the puzzle of who he is and what’s important to him, once again.

Review:

What an incredible read. For me, this book can be described in one word, "wow". Despite being a relatively short book, every word felt extremely deliberate, powerful and written with intent to convey the entirety of his existence.

The book begins with his diagnosis, which right off the bat, sets the tone of the book being extremely personal and intimate. By the end of the book, I felt like I knew Paul.

Paul takes you through the journey of battling with his ever changing views of mortality, beliefs and purpose from childhood until death; which is juxtaposed to his first hand experiences in the medical field. The short epilogue at the end makes his story even more powerful.

In my opinion, Paul did an outstanding job of being able to articulate the totality of his life, putting the reader in his shoes, so much so that I cried for him and the parallel experiences in my life: for my mother who had a stroke a few years before she passed and had to learn to speak and walk again, for my brother who is going through uncertainty with a liver tumor and for myself and my experiences with suicide (I’m good now) and neurological issues, including epilepsy.

Paul’s words influenced me to reevaluate my identity, beliefs, how I perceive my life experiences, what matters to me and who I really am, thanks to him sharing so openly, who he was with with the world.

RIP Paul, you seemed like an extraordinary person, who profoundly impacted people positively in life and continue to do so, even after death.

I highly recommend this book to everyone. For those of you who have read it, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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Comments

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Learner4LifePk t1_j526smk wrote

God I still remember the heartbreak I experienced after reading that book back in 2016. I loved reading about his clinical experiences and reading that right after neuroscience class was incredibly exciting but the magnitude of heartbreak and Dr Klanithi's courage were strangely heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.

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phabphour20 t1_j52lt8k wrote

Only time I’ve ever openly sobbed after reading a book. My wife was concerned. So I made her read it too.

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0dteSPYFDs OP t1_j5270ko wrote

Absolutely heart wrenching, but such an incredible book.

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InterestinglyLucky t1_j5eczqm wrote

So well put.

It came in the mail two days ago, and I finished it (late) last night.

Still processing the emotions I felt, and have not laughed out loud (several times) while reading a book in I do not know how long.

The questions he poses, in the light of the classic writers (I was not aware of Samuel Beckett and his impact on 20th century writing before) directly contrasting the incredibly technical neuroscience involved in his day-to-day work was absolutely arresting. Literature posing the Biggest Questions of our meaning and existence, all the while he's working with the pain and grief of not only himself and his family, but the reminiscence of all those patients he had to do the exact same thing from the physician's perspective.

It's going to take some time for me to process such a contrast of feelings. And will be sure to read it again in a few weeks. Thanks /u/0dteSPYFDs for sharing your thoughts here.

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Rich_Librarian_7758 t1_j538ur6 wrote

I loved it. My medical side loved how he broke down the doctor-patient dynamic and my English major side loved his appreciation of literature and writing. So moving. And poignant.

Along a similar, although funnier vein: “The Bright Hour” by Nina Riggs.

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boxer_dogs_dance t1_j52zvbj wrote

That was an amazing book. I will never forget it.

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maconmama t1_j536udp wrote

This book is amazingly beautiful and heartbreaking. I recommend it and Know My Name by Chanel Miller to everyone.

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Xylem88 t1_j538ql6 wrote

Great read in many ways. I disagree with his decision to have a child but that's just my opinion. There's plenty to like about the book and his perspective

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0dteSPYFDs OP t1_j53huaq wrote

I don’t think anyone from the outside is in a position to judge that decision.

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Xylem88 t1_j53n7cv wrote

You might be right. I think everyone is in a position to have opinions about other people's decisions. I respect his decision for sure and I understand why he did decide to have a child. My dialogue isn't with him but with others who are reading his story and experiences and who have a different perspective on it, so thanks for giving me yours.

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0dteSPYFDs OP t1_j53ryks wrote

For me, when I read the note he left to his daughter, I thought to myself that’s something I would carry close to my heart forever. I wish had parents that loved me like that and expressed it. That would mean more to me than the cumulative relationship I had with my parents. I still struggle with feeling loved.

Both my parents were pretty much absent in my life. My Dad had full custody, but was abusive and neglectful. I maybe saw my Mom 6 months between when my parents divorced when I was 6 and when she passed when I was 20.

Both parents being alive and present is ideal, but knowing you’re loved matters a lot. Maybe I’m biased, but I don’t think he made the wrong choice. She’ll know forever she made her fathers life worth it.

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