Submitted by dwigtttt t3_10m1mxt in books

I joined a Meetup.com book club last year and have bailed on 2 or 3 meetings so far but read the books. The main reason I bailed the meetings was because I didn't enjoy them but also subconsciously because I'm not sure what happens at one and how formal they are.

After bailing on the third, I decided to find a new one that at least reads books I enjoy. They are currently reading a great book and I've binged 150 pages within 2 days. Usually I struggled to get through 20 a night...

I have engaged with this book so much so and have made some notes. Would it be weird to take the notes with me? Either written down or on my phone?

Also, how does a book club function? Is it like a lit seminar or more of a casual thing where people just naturally chat about the book?

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dust_cover t1_j60flej wrote

So my book club is made up of friends, we talk about the book for about ten mins and then spend the next hour basically catching up on our lives.

Book Club is an excuse to recommend stuff to each other, drink wine, and eat desserts…

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Catsandscotch t1_j60idb7 wrote

It really depends on the book club. I am in one with a group of friends. It is always a mix of what did we think of the book and what is going on in our lives. This last week our meeting was almost entirely about the book, just because we read a memoir of someone who faced a lot of challenges and there were a lot of heavy ideas to address. We were all really engaged in the topics addressed in the book. Other times, nobody really has a lot to say about the book, so it's mostly a social occasion. As an individual I find you can say as much or as little as you choose, without dominating the discussion. Like no one will mind that you have notes, but also no one will expect that you have to have them.

I recently went to a silent bookclub that I found through Meetup. In silent bookclub everyone is reading their own book and there is some social time after. Nearly all of the conversations I had in the social time were about books, but not about any specific book.

During the height of the pandemic, I went to two zoom bookclub events (also found through Meetup) and mostly the topic stayed on the book or on books with similar themes. I think when you don't know the people in the club personally, you might be more inclined to stay on the book topic (as opposed to general socializing). I also realized zoom bookclub is not for me. I prefer in person.

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MaeClementine t1_j60j5nt wrote

I just got back from book club! Ours had a moderator that asks us at the start how we felt about the book and usually we can just chat about it from there but she also has backup discussion questions in case conversation stalls. We usually talk about the book for the whole 90 minutes. No one in our group brings notes but that would be cool! It’s pretty informal.

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minimalist_coach t1_j60lds1 wrote

I'm in one now and have been in a few. The "formalness" varies. Most that I've been to have a "host" that person usually has a few questions that the group answers. Some people use notes, so it wouldn't be weird to bring them, some people bring the book with sticky tabs or highlights, others just show up, sometimes people haven't read or finished the book, it's all OK.

I encourage you to show up and see if the group has a vibe you enjoy. When it comes to meet up I often "try out" groups and just show up to see if I feel like a fit for the group.

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Prestigious-Fox-7842 t1_j60o7js wrote

My local library hosts one every month. The librarian hosts it at the library. People will sometimes bring a snack to share and your welcome to bring a beverage of your choice.

We take turns rating the book, 1 to 10 stars and give a reason or two for that rating. She has a list of questions that we sometimes talk about. If we think any of them are dumb, we skip it. Sometimes a member will have a few questions they bring in to talk about. We have also been known to veer wildly off topic.

It goes on for about an hour, we find out about the next book we’ll be reading and depart. We tried a few over Zoom during the ‘Vid and I did not enjoy that as much as the in person meetings.

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coloradolax t1_j60p68j wrote

Our book club eats, drinks and catches up for 30 minutes and then whoever hosted and picked the book is the one that leads discussion. We discuss for at least an hour. Mix of friends and people I don't know outside of book club. We connect reading to our lives, events, etc and get into some great discussions.

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Amelie_Holovan t1_j60sclq wrote

If I saw a person with notes at a book club meeting, I'd immediately try to befriend them :) Used to attend this kind of meetings held by a local bookstore a couple of years ago. Almost everyone there had a notebook with them.

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kitaro53085 t1_j60swzs wrote

I'm in a weekly book club that averages 6-8 people. It's run by some friends of mine who own a used book store, and it takes place at their store in a side room with a table and chairs. VERY casual. Most people just wear normal street clothes or whatever they wore to work that day. Some bring food, since it's around dinner time. The store has snacks and free water bottles. Some people do take notes, either in the margins or a separate notebook. Other people use color-coded tabs. Some take photos of their favorite passages. Some don't take any notes at all. We sit and talk for about 60-90 minutes about the assigned portion for the past week, which is usually about 100-120 pages.

I love it, and it's become a highlight of my week! We fawn over characters we love, rant on ones we hate, snark on questionable plotlines, speculate about what's going to happen next, create our own head-canons about characters hooking up, construct over-the-top conspiracy theories that would make Shyamalan cringe... and frequently get sidetracked. Most of the books so far have been pretty light fiction. But there are a few memoirs and historical fiction on the list for later in the year.

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fairygodmotherfckr t1_j60sy7c wrote

I'm secretly in one with my husband. He doesn't know yet.

He's reading a list that is several hundred books long, and the first book he mentioned to me sounded really good. So I'm reading it too. I'd like to read of them and bounce ideas off of him and vice versa, it would be fun.

But I'll see how he responds to having a member in his club.

EDIT: husband is reading novels which evoke aspects of the history and current character of every nation in the world, A-Z.

This is partially just to read some fiction, he reads a lot of grim reports for his work... but it's also to help him better understand the world, since his field is in human rights and geopolitics.

I told him I was doing this, in general we're trying to find more times to hang out as a couple now that our kid is in nursery, and he was touched.

But he's way ahead of me - I think he might be on the Bs - but I'm currently reading A General Theory of Oblivion.

I highly recommend it.

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Donkeykicks6 t1_j611m0v wrote

I was in two. One closed during he pandemic and as far as I know they haven’t started again and I keep looking to see if they have. Absolutely not would it be weird. We loved people really getting into it. Our meetings were at Panera in the back

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car01yn t1_j613qu3 wrote

It’s hard to say, they’re all different. I used to go to two.

The first one was mainly social and I stopped going because a lot of people hadn’t read the books! Argh, I came here to discuss the book! Here, your notes may be weird.

The second one everyone read the book and we went around a circle and discussed. Lots of people brought notes. You’d fit right in!

I’d suggest bringing your notes and making a call at the time about whether you feel comfortable bringing them out or not.

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KiwiTheKitty t1_j615nnu wrote

I used to be in some over the years and usually they're pretty casual. The way I've always done them, everyone gets to nominate a book and then they lead the meeting just to get the conversation flowing and people speak as they feel moved to. It wouldn't be weird at all to bring notes with you. So there is a little structure, but I've never been in one that was like a formal college class or anything.

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Loves-Coconut t1_j615owc wrote

I'm part of a book club and we definitely read the books. We socialize for a half hour and then we have a moderator who we pay to come and we go through the books. It's casual, and we just chat, but the moderator has done research on the author and knows the ins and outs of the book and we talk for about an hour or more about the themes and various aspects. We meet in person.

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No_Industry9653 t1_j6190k4 wrote

>have bailed on 2 or 3 meetings so far but read the books. The main reason I bailed the meetings was because I didn't enjoy them

I was in a book club for a while and something commonly remarked on was how some of the best meetings were when everyone hated the book. So don't let a dislike of the book get in the way of going.

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QueenRooibos t1_j619hq1 wrote

My book group has been going since about 1994 (that was when I joined and it was not new then).

Our protocol is: we each nominate 3 books about every 7-8 months, everyone votes and we choose one book from each person. Then, 2 months before we run out of books, we choose again for about 3-4 more books. This covers the year and allows us to choose books later in the year based on new interests or new book releases.

The person who nominated the book runs that month's book group meeting and we all make sure that everyone gets to speak and we try to minimize interrupting each other. Since Covid started, we have been meeting on Zoom. It is actually easier to minimize interrupting that way.

We do our fun chatting at the beginning or end of our meeting. Before Covid, we used to do a December potluck. Since Covid, we just take December off. Several of us are very high risk, and one person moved out of state, so we are continuing with Zoom so that everyone can participate.

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE my book group!!! And we all know/like each other pretty darn well by now (not all of us have been in the group 29 years, but several of us have....)

One of the best things is that I read books which I would never have read on my own, and even if I don't always like them, it is still interesting to have a big variety. And we all agree that if you really dislike a book, you don't need to read it.

One thing that helps us with a variety of books/topics is that our book group includes both men and women.

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Catsandscotch t1_j619jtq wrote

It was Hannah Gadsby's Ten Steps to Nanette. We all really appreciated the book and took different things away from it. If you plan to read it, I would recommend watching her Netflix special, "Nanette", prior to reading it. It makes the book make more sense.

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cany19 t1_j61bn7e wrote

Our book club is very casual. We chat about the book. Sometimes we have a lot to discuss and it’s very interesting, sometimes we don’t so we talk about other books we’ve read that we really enjoyed. If I take notes I do take them to the meeting. You can attend even if you don’t like the book or if you didn’t even try it; if they object to that maybe it’s not the group for you (I wouldn’t like that, though I usually read the books even when they don’t look interesting to me). Go ahead and attend and see how you like it, and how you like that particular group. No one in my book club likes every book every month, but if this group never picks anything you like that might be another reason to try a different group - although I have to say that one thing I like about being in a book club is it makes me read things I would not have picked myself, and I’ve ended up loving a lot of those!!

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Illienne t1_j61dxxw wrote

I started to visit an italian literature club. It's really fun, we talk about the book for an hour, then about two hours of homemade snacks, wine, laughter and catching up with people, while brushing up on my italian. It's basically an excuse for socializing and it's great!

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NewAlternative4738 t1_j61l6ww wrote

Lol my husband and I also have a two person book club! My husband is aware we’re in a book club, but it’s a little quirky. We declare where we are in the book when we’re ready for “book club.” Then the other person says when they’ve caught up. Then we discuss whatever exciting, shocking, non-sensical event occurred. We have a lot of fun with it

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Flaky-Purchase-4969 t1_j61wnam wrote

I have been in a 2 person book club for 6 years. We started by reading the novels list in “The Well Educated Mind.” We add a Christian living and a philosophy/education book also. We meet as regularly as once a week during the summer and every few months when we are too busy. I have definitely become more educated. I even got to be a guest on a podcast after sending an email to the podcast host about my reading journey.

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whyduhitme t1_j621hok wrote

My club has been meeting over 20 years now. The length of time we spend on the book completely depends on what’s been picked. Most we talk about the book for 30 minutes or so. Sometimes we get a pretty good discussion that lasts hours

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senefen t1_j623hv3 wrote

Yep. Mine is run by CAE (the centre for adult education) in my city. They operate a number of groups and you just sign up for the one in your area. We meet once a month and take it in turns to host with wine and cheese. Once a year we put together a list of our desired books from their catalogue and CAE will send us something from our list every month.

It's pretty casual, but there's a range of personalities and tastes. In my club it would not be weird to have written down your thoughts. We generally don't, but it wouldn't be seen as weird.

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Previous_Injury_8664 t1_j624f0n wrote

The book club I’m currently in is with people who live in my neighborhood. We do spend at least half of the time talking about the book, depending on how remarkable it was. There’s also food and drink and bonding, because that’s a secondary goal of our meetings.

I would say anything goes. I’m a nerd and I’d love it if someone brought notes to our meeting, but unfortunately most of our books are not that deep. We choose 6 genres for the next six months and then vote for books within each genre. Verity this month made my eyes bleed, so I’m following up on my own with Les Miserables.

I would love to have a book club with fans of literature, but I’ll have to settle for online for now.

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driftwood14 t1_j624ji4 wrote

My cousins, wife and sister have one. We meet monthly. Sometimes none of us finish the book and we just hang out. Other times we have really good in depth discussions about the book. I like the informality of it. Plus we all make food and have a potluck too

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Primary-Lion-6088 t1_j62b3pf wrote

I’m in two meetup.com ones, and they are both pretty similar in format. I don’t think having notes is weird at all, in fact I usually do. We all get to weigh in one by one at the beginning, then after that we chat more loosely about the book, sometimes with questions facilitated by the moderator of the club. At the end we vote on what to read next. One of my 2 clubs is always virtual and the other is sometimes virtual, sometimes in person. Although I theoretically like the idea of connecting in person, I find it much easier to actually make it to the all-virtual one. I think this is partly because it’s on Monday nights when I’m usually not doing much else, whereas the sometimes-in-person one is on Saturday afternoons — honestly, I’d rather be hanging out with my partner or friends on a Saturday afternoon than hauling myself all the way downtown to meet up with strangers, especially since it’s the only day my partner takes completely off each week.

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southern5footer t1_j62clla wrote

I've been in one for ~14 years. We have been in person except for a couple covid years when we met virtually. We have between 10-11 members always. 6ish have been around since the beginning. A few members have moved away, etc.

The way we run ours is that each member has an assigned month. You pick the book that will be discussed that month and we tell people 2 months in advance. If it is your month, you host at your house and serve dinner. (Although some host at other members houses if it is easier) Dinner can be super casual or themed or fancy.

We have a spreadsheet where we track books, each member's rating, etc. The way we pick books means we end up with very different types of books. This month we are reading a couple graphic novels, which is a first. Last month was a book on perimenopause. The books are quite varied.

The person whose month it is rates first and gives their review of the book and we go around the room and everyone rates 1-10.

Bringing notes to our book club would be totally normal and loved although there are many of us that don't do that either.

Hope that helps.

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blueberry_pancakes14 t1_j62i8hy wrote

I'm in one, in fact our monthly meeting is this weekend. I've been in for quite a few years now. It started on meetup, but that site is stupid high in hosting costs, so we ditched it eventually.

I really think all book clubs, like any social club, are different, and it's going to depend on the members and types of books they typically read as to how they function, flow, act, etc.

We're pretty relaxed, open, very opinionated but even if our opinions differ, we hear them out.

We joke we're the food and drinks and book club, but we're probably 2/3 books and 1/3 food. Most of us are friends outside of it (some having known before joining, some finding friendships with individuals after joining). We do catch up and talk about non-book stuff, but probably 2/3 is book related.

We read two books a month. Read both, read one, read neither. The books will spoiled if you haven't finished or didn't read, unless you want to step out. We try and read a fiction and a non fiction, both pretty varying on topics. We do have favorite authors we'd read multiple of (we've read several Mary Roach books for our non fictions), we like theming when we can- a spooky or horror book for October, etc. We always choose something that has multiple copies at the library and is otherwise easy to get (no one gets excluded because they can't or don't want to buy a brand new book every time). Usually our organizer starts us off with something, but we just let the conversation flow organically from there, bounce off each other. Oh you said this and I thought the same, or I didn't and here's why kinda stuff. Some takes notes, some don't. We're all pretty big and serious readers, so books are a huge interest of ours independent of those we read for book club, and a lot of times we read stuff we wouldn't pick up on our own otherwise, which I personally really like. Even if I didn't like a book, now I know. I've found some gems that have become some of my favorites I might not have found otherwise, too.

We round table host, just whoever volunteers. I'm a huge Halloween person, and I decorate to the max, so I've got a standing hosting gig for October, our organizer claimed December, otherwise it's open. Bring food, drinks, don't, whatever you can/want to do, change it up every time. Theme your food/drink, don't. Just have fun.

If you're not liking the club, then I'd say just find another one. I don't know how easy that is, but that's just how I've found clubs and such to be. Either you click and it works or you don't and there's nothing wrong with it, it's just not a good fit. Some are more structured, some are not, some read all fluff some read the opposite, some are a mix. Gotta find what works for you.

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Shanstergoodheart t1_j62k7rd wrote

You just go and talk about the book. Even if you didn't like it. Some of the most fun I've had at a book club is when we all rip a book apart. I can't tell you how much of us LOATHED the Left Hand of Darkness.

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PrestigiousCase5918 t1_j62nec6 wrote

How bookclubs work really depends on how well you know everyone and the tone and type of books you're reading; sometimes it's meant to be a serious environment for people to discuss themes and literary topics, and sometimes it's a place to just make friends and laugh. For example, I'm in a book club but it's really casual because it's just my friends and all we do is read bad, smutty, or bad AND smutty books lol. For us we just read out particularly bad or funny lines and laugh.

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sewimpressed t1_j62x8rc wrote

No, it wouldn't be weird. I've seen people do that and sometimes I did so myself. Our book club has grown considerably and each meeting is attended by 20+ people. At this point most of the talk is done about personal news and especially children, though (I have nothing to contribute) and not so much about books, unfortunately.

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Tortuga917 t1_j63hay7 wrote

My wife and i started a Covid book club just the two of us back in 2020 and haven't stopped. We choose a book to read, make an easy reading schedule (20-30 pages a day usually. We both read other things too). Then, when we have both read that day, we discuss, predict, etc. It's wonderful!

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space_tigress t1_j63uv46 wrote

Me and my friends created a book club during Covid lockdown here. We meet once a month over Zoom to discuss and pick a book for the next month. It's an open invitation to any of our friends, so it's expanded to people across all of Canada! I've met a lot of great people and we even did an in-person meetup in the spring that people flew out for. Unfortunately it has gotten a lot harder to get everyone together these days since we are obviously no longer in lockdown and everyone is busy again, but it's been a very rewarding experience!

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penngi t1_j63wu2r wrote

I started a book club. Our February meeting will be our 8-year anniversary. I started it by asking a few of my friends who were avid reader to join. Over time, they've invited other friends or coworkers. We've gained and lost some members in that 8 years, but we have a core group that has been there the whole time. We take turns choosing a book to read, and we meet once a month.

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Good-Albatross6597 t1_j64h607 wrote

It's only as formal as you make it tbh, I run a Marxist one with some of my friends and it's generally a pretty casual affair, we bring snacks, make jokes, help one another, and generally have a great time

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Fluffyknickers t1_j64ikuu wrote

A person with notes wouldn't be unusual in my book club. We often read quotes or look up author information during the discussion.

There's a bit of structure to it. We open by saying the rules if there are new people (be respectful and stay on topic). We may decide on next month's book, if not already selected. We speak in any order; it's a group discussion. During this time we order food. About an hour in, we close by each giving it a rating. Our food arrives, and discussion is opened up to anything.

I'm going to a 2nd book club this month, in person. Curious how it'll be different.

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dalownerx3 t1_j65703c wrote

The book club I’m in is also a meetup book club. It meets generally twice a month.

We need at a place that serves alcohol but there’s no requirement to order anything. The host would go around the table and have folks introduce themselves and say what they think of the book. Some folks have notes to refer to but folks aren’t giving a lecture on the book. Once everyone has spoken, the floor opens to general discussion about the book. The host has backup questions if the discussion dies down.

Towards the end, there may be non-book related talk as the meeting winds down.

It’s okay not to like a book and even not finish them.

Just show up and see what happens. The only thing you shouldn’t do is sign up and not show up if there are limited spots. That would prevent somebody on the waiting list from going.

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Spirited_Leave4052 t1_j66feby wrote

Yes, my friend started one six years ago so now we’re six years strong it’s a small group of like 10 people less than 10 people.

When we first started out, we would do really engaging book discussions but now when we meet up to talk about the book, it’s like mainly talking and just catching up and then doing a little bit of book talking, but also depends on how interesting and how good the book was sometimes the book was rather boring and we’d rather talk about something else going on

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BookyCats t1_j68ts0p wrote

I originally joined a meet-up book club about 7 years ago. And they're probably 10 to 15 people in it and it didn't seem to really meet often. But then there was a ice cream social made up and I ended up meeting some people there who are also book lovers. So now there are seven of us who meet regularly every month and it's been about 7 years or so. I don't think it's weird to have notes with you. With my little group we just talk about our personal lives, sometimes we have discussion questions printed from the internet about the book another times we just talk about what we liked and didn't like.

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