Read "It Ends with Us" by CoHo. 1.5/5 ⭐

Submitted by chicki-nuggies t3_10khi97 in books

EDIT: this does contain spoilers for the book. So if you're planing to read this book pls skip this post.

I just finished this book and I gotta say I almost regret reading it. I don't like how the DV is basically used as like a plot twist. I think it's pretty irresponsible to not put a trigger warning for that along with the rape/SA.

All the characters were pretty 2 dimensional as well. The abuse and the trauma is what made them and the story interesting (and i feel gross saying that). Outside of that, i didn't feel like any of the characters had a personality.

I hated Ryle from the moment we met him. Atlas was mostly fine but boring and I'm uncomfortable with him being 18 and sleeping with a minor. Lily was also pretty plain and not that interesting.

There were so many moments in this book that were comical in the worst way. I'd be reading through a very dark and serious part of the book and then suddenly lily would say "just keep swimming" and like... That just ruined the moment. How am I suppose to take this seriously??

I don't think abuse and trauma should be used as a plot twist and trauma also is not a personality trait. If you can only make a character interesting by giving them some sad backstory or making them go through trauma then you're just not a good writer. That's basically sums up how I felt about the book.

I did like the convo in chapter 32 that Lily and her mom had. I feel like that's a good thing to read especially for those people who say "well, if he hits you, why don't you just leave?" It puts things into perspective more and shows that it's not all that black and white.

Overall tho, did not enjoy it.

Edit: i did wanna add that I'm aware that this book is based off of Colleen's mom and dad and I read her author's note at the end. That still doesn't change my overall view of this book. I feel that the DV in this book was dealt with in an immature way, in the sense that i feel like it diminishes the real impact this kind of thing can have on people in real life. Ryle had no consequences whatsoever for his actions and I don't think Lily divorcing him counted as a consequence

23

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

UnluckyReader t1_j5r4g3g wrote

I actively hated that book. As a DV survivor, it managed to both trivialize and glamorize violence, made all sorts of excuses for the abuser, and the ending was just bad freaking information. It literally fits the definition of…

trauma porn: When a writer glorifies trauma in their writing, exaggerating aspects for the sake of angst. Usually a writer thinks they are being deep and edgy when in actuality they are just disrespecting and glorifying trauma.

30

chicki-nuggies OP t1_j5rdsmm wrote

That's exactly what it is. The fact that Ryle is just forgiven and there are no consequences and he gets to be a part of both Lily and their daughters life just sucked. The sister said that he had been going to therapy to manage his anger issues since he was a child. Meaning he'd probably been in therapy for around 2 decades... And he's still this bad?? The therapy ain't working, sweetheart

12

UnluckyReader t1_j5rpc1b wrote

And, I’m sorry, I can never make spoiler tags work on mobile, but

At the end they peacefully coparent?! You allow an abuser to be unsupervised with his daughter??? That ends NOTHING. He will just abuse you as his ex-wife, but with the added leverage of custody fights. It gives him a new way to control and torment. He will continue to abuse women from his place of prestige and privilege, and will likely abuse his daughter too.

Seriously f that book.

11

chicki-nuggies OP t1_j5s2q16 wrote

And to add to that, he'll also try to make sure that any of her relationships with other men fail. Like, nothing about this made any sense

3

alternativelola t1_j5sabx4 wrote

Funnily enough, I fully agree with you. A few years ago My one group of girlfriends loved her, and I had come forward about my engagement about to end and why, so they told me to read it. This was not a topic they were familiar with, and I’m not easy to trigger, so I didn’t mind, but it was just such a weird book.

Him facing no punishment is very realistic. I didn’t do anything either, and there have been times since we split where we’ve been completely copacetic (we are not speaking anymore, fwiw) despite what happened. It’s like your brain just won’t acknowledge that something bad happened or how bad it was.

Now, while that made it fairly realistic (not for every woman, I realize) it still bothered me because it made it MORE normalized. I should have done something and not let someone get away with it, and I don’t want a book glossing over that being a very real (and favourable if you can stay safe) potential outcome. I don’t want my feelings to be normalized, what if I don’t leave at all next time?

I hope that made sense. 😂

6

terrortheory1 t1_j5ziq9z wrote

Just the fact Colleen Hoover wants to make a coloring book out of this shows how much care she puts in writing about a serious topic.

Domestic violence romanticized. That's all I have to say.

5

Raemle t1_j5qt4r9 wrote

Yup. It feels awful to say because the book really badly want to be serious and “say” important stuff or whatever. But everything is so over the top and unrealistic that it was hard to take it seriously. Lily Blossom Bloom and her flowershop for people who don’t like flowers should be considered a crime. Not to mention the rich best friend who wants to work anyway and those are the best workers

The only characters that I found interesting was Atlas, Ryle and Lily’s mom. I also don’t think the family dynamic with Ryle and the sister’s parents made any sense at all or was explained in any way that connected to the backstory we got later.

The scene where she asks for a divorce in the end was pretty emotional tho, I will give Colleen that. It messed me up for a couple hours

4

EntertainmentNew2047 t1_j5r81pq wrote

Yes. I felt really guilty after reading it because it didn't feel like it was appropriate to "rate" due to the content. But I straight-up despised the book? And I don't think that it's fair for me to feel weird about disliking it for its "theme" when I felt that the choices made in that book completely counteracted/undermined its message. It felt like an odd choice to me that the book (that's advertised as being about ending the cycle of DV) ended on this spoon-fed excitement towards the potential of a rekindled relationship with another man and not an epilogue or moment solely centered around this woman and her daughter living a life free from an abuser. And the fact that there is a whole ass sequel about their rekindled romance kind of fortifies that point that it was disrespectful and irresponsible. I had many (MANY) more issues with that book, but that one really irked me.

3

ok_lemonpop t1_j5u5yrl wrote

I read Verity by here first and really liked it. So I went and bought a few other books by her, and It Ends With Us was the next one I read. I was so disappointed, and now have like five other books by her that I don’t even want to read. But feel like I have to since I bought them🥲

3

Davidstarr86 t1_j5qqol7 wrote

A quick google tells me much of the trauma and abuse is drawn from Hoover's real life relationship with her mother.

2

chicki-nuggies OP t1_j5rdgz1 wrote

Right. The book still wasn't good.

The fact that this book is based on her parents relationship and CoHo has a somewhat firsthand experience of abuse should mean that she knows how sensitive this topic is. Yet, she still decided to use the abuse as a plot twist and failed to give content warnings about the graphic assault scenes in this book.

That's irresponsible, harmful, dangerous, insensitive, careless, etc. This is what pissed me off about the book the most

21

jessicaxyuna t1_j5rbyyl wrote

I couldn't even finish it! I DNF'd it a few chapters in. I haven't had much luck with her books (even the ones I did manage to finish).

2

aslowdyke t1_j5s9ril wrote

> I think it's pretty irresponsible to not put a trigger warning for that along with the rape/SA.

I can count the number of books I've read that have included content warnings on one hand, though. Even among queer fiction it's not that common!

2

laps95 t1_j5sdp5t wrote

Please warn that there is a spoiler in your post, that book was in my to read list 😅

1