At a celebration of sexuality… …let’s shame people about their sexuality.

I don’t want to sound like a TERF — if someone isn’t into anyone’s specific genitalia then they just aren’t into it. And not wanting to get intimate with someone doesn’t mean they dislike a person or group or are a bigot.

I’m monogamous and bi. I’m married to a man. I’m not looking to get intimate with anyone else. That doesn’t mean I see them as less of people. Not to be crass but — not wanting to fuck someone doesn’t mean someone sees the other person or their identities as negatives.

There are also sometimes essential biological incompatibilities e.g. folks with vaginismus or with trauma involving a penis may not be able to have intimacy with penetration. Literally unable from a medical standpoint.

Also not everyone into specific genitalia is interested in sex with people with those genitalia. People have preferences within the preferences. Everyone has a different build. I have been with so many types of people. Some don’t have a physical compatibility with me or I’m not into them. Even stereotypical super hot fit guys who have been very ‘blessed.’ But that’s me personally. It’s not indicative of their ability to find someone they are more compatible with.

People also have different libidos. So someone who has a high libido, regardless of genitalia, may not be compatible with a low libido asexual person.

Comparability with romantic and sexual partners isn’t limited to genitalia. There are so many factors. Even in terms of requirements people have for people they have hookups with.

I’m obviously pro LGBT rights. But I sound old fashioned and conservative when I say what happens in the literal bedroom is private. In that it’s not something the general public is owed information or explanations about. I also don’t mean private as in ‘should be hidden and something to be ashamed of.’ It’s private info people can choose or not choose to share with ours.

People in kink get that privilege. So should everyone else.