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jtet93 t1_jdvlcc6 wrote

You’re trying to solve the bystander effect and it’s just not gonna happen. People for the most part just mind their own business. It’s nice that you helped and came to brag about it on Reddit tho

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No_Judge_3817 t1_jdvobwi wrote

Actually I'm pretty sure this Reddit post is the first step in ending hundreds of years of collective human behavior.

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RailRoad_Candy t1_jdvln8r wrote

>It’s nice that you helped and came to brag about it on Reddit tho

Just for that, I'm gonna help somebody out today.

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jtet93 t1_jdvlraw wrote

Lol hell yeah. Turn my cynicism into kindness, I love to see it

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Cameron_james t1_jdwq388 wrote

> Turn my cynicism into kindness

I'm reading this in Emperor Palpatine's voice and picturing someone rubbing their hands like Montgomery Burns.

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felineprincess93 t1_jdwfkno wrote

I am completely unsure of what these types of posts do except serve as an ego boost for OP while simultaneously allowing them to talk down to random people who weren't present for this interaction. If you're very high and mighty, you should've yelled all this out at Caffe Nero.

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rainniier2 t1_jdvnvmp wrote

In this case I would not have intervened unless it was to hold open a door or slide out of the way. People are capable of using their words and asking for help. In my opinion, a double wide stroller is city life on hard mode but who am I to judge someone who makes different decisions than I would. ETA: I think Boston people do a great job of jumping in and helping in true emergencies.

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becausefrog t1_jdw4pb2 wrote

A double wide stroller should be parked outside like a bike, not brought into a crowded cafe. It's basic city etiquette.

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Cameron_james t1_jdwqbnq wrote

> A double wide stroller should be parked outside like a bike

With the kids in it?

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rainniier2 t1_jdxhezk wrote

You have to go to Norway and Denmark for that.

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ShardsgetmeStoned t1_jdw8t6m wrote

Yeah I don’t think that holds water in such an international city like Boston is now. In this case the woman was an immigrant and had a very thick accent when she said thank you. So some folks just can’t.

But I totally agree. In a pinch. New englanders on the whole are there for each other when needed

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charons-voyage t1_jdvluun wrote

I attempted to help a middle aged female open a door to a cafe once since she was juggling a baby carrier and she screamed “I AM FINE!!!” And acted like I was trying to like steal her kid or something. Now I just MMOB unless someone asks for help.

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jojenns t1_jdw58tf wrote

This right here is where we are. Trying to help is just slightly less offensive than not helping and knowing the difference is a minefield

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Comfortable-Scar4643 t1_jdwoaz9 wrote

+1. At Nauset Beach a few years ago, a Mom was chatting with her friend and I was watching her young child get closer and closer to being swept away by the rising tide and crashing waves. One big wave came, knocked over her kid and I jumped up to pluck her kid out of the wash. She gave me the dirtiest look. She was not thankful I kept her kid from aspirating a bunch of sea water.

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SolarFeline t1_je08jme wrote

In retrospect she prob was. But she was embarrassed and guilty in the moment combined with "stranger danger."

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SolarFeline t1_je08f7c wrote

I just ASK oh ya want me to hold that for you?

Interestingly, though, in NYC, if you ask to help a stroller up the stairs of the subway, generally the answer is No. HOWEVER, so many people (male commuters generally) seem to just grab it without asking and go.

That took getting used to.

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ShardsgetmeStoned t1_jdw9mrk wrote

I appreciate that your interaction with that woman turned sour, but you really gonna stop that one incident stop you from offering a helping hand unless asked?

Like how many times have you held the door open for folks and got a thanks of a smile of gratitude? I think the woman who yelled at you might be the outlier in these sorts of situations. Just sayin, the onus wasn’t on your trying to help

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charons-voyage t1_jdwbzvu wrote

People are free to ask for help, I’m always happy to. My elderly neighbor asks me to help shovel etc and I always do 🤷‍♂️

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technicolourful t1_jdvyk5u wrote

Double wide strollers belong in the suburbs. Don't encourage people with double wide strollers.

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Academic_Guava_4190 t1_jdwym01 wrote

This is the correct take. Or large pieces of luggage. Get your coffee at the airport.

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shitz_brickz t1_jdvxzwa wrote

Middle aged woman struggles to push mini SUV through coffee shop on a Monday. Not exactly the person I imagine when I think of helping people in need. Personally I can just imagine turning this into one of those situations where I try to help and end up knocking something else over or tripping over the very chair you were trying to move.

Also sorry not sorry but the world is over crowded and people who try to wield more than one child per body are just asking for problems.

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ShardsgetmeStoned t1_jdw8596 wrote

To each their own, just cus someone made life choices you don’t agree with doesn’t make them deserving of derision

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General_Skin_2125 t1_jdwtnxk wrote

Thank you so much for your actions, oh my goodnes! I mean, seriously! You stepped up and did the bare minimum. Thank you also for posting this, now we all know that Momma raised a good boy!

Seriously though, bragging about good deeds online is so lame. Just do it and shut up about it, it's the bare minimum.

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Ok_Concert7397 t1_jdwxus7 wrote

Congrats OP let me be the first to say u are true American hero,hopefully u are awarded a congressional medal of honor, u have my vote

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jonlb87 t1_jdxh8e6 wrote

Cool story. I’ll be sure to make a post and tag you every time I hold the door for someone.

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[deleted] OP t1_jdwdk4r wrote

Depends on the incident. A lady who knowingly goes into a crowded coffee shop without any kind of idea doesn't warrant help. There's no law saying she couldnt have put her shit down and then gotten in line with two free hands. I do that all the time when I'm carrying stuff. I've caught with shit trying to help people who didn't want, or dealing with my own problems, or actually stepping into slightly more serious situations. No reason to waste my time and energy on somebody going out of their way to give themselves a hard time. Most of the time somebody else's problem is actually somebody else's problem

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SmearingFeces t1_jdxuo29 wrote

The problem starts with you “sitting in a Cafe Nero”.

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farmingmaine t1_jdzqogg wrote

Don’t bring a double wide baby cart into any building and stay off the side walks.

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Girlwithpen t1_jdxx3dq wrote

People are afraid. Of offending someone. Of saying the wrong thing. Of inferring the wrong thing. Of referring to someone unintentionally the wrong way. And so on. So everyone minds their own business.

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