Dating in Boston

Submitted by Winter_Technology_66 t3_z4tt3b in boston

What are the girls you’ve dated from the Boston area like? If they grew up in this area are they colder than girls you’ve dated from other cities?

Is it harder to date in Boston than other big cities, or am I overthinking things?

I’m from the Mid-West and have lived in NYC + Philly before landing in Boston. There’s something about this city that I continue to feel like an outside. The girls I’ve met have been nice enough, but seem to, again, view my as an outsider. Is this just dating in my 30s, or are the girls here more stand offish?

Genuinely looking for advice. Thanks.

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trash_bae t1_ixsr6o5 wrote

First of all I’m assuming due to your little history you’re a grown adult…can we not call women girls? That would be a starter.

Also, like…maybe you’re just too much or not enough personality wise. I don’t mean to be rude but you’ve provided nothing about yourself or what YOU are into and where you hang out to really get any vibe about why you’re striking out. You’re putting the onus on the women not being interested in you……and while dating in Boston is hard it isn’t impossible because the scenes are so diverse. So, like, I dunno. Maybe it’s you?

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Particular_Ad_7831 t1_ixsuozu wrote

Also maybe a different approach. “What do you look for in men?” Instead of acting like women are also not on this reading this 😂

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No_Judge_3817 t1_ixsrwdg wrote

Go on a date with OP and find out! Then you can team up to help him find the woman of his dreams, only to realize...it was you all along.

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trash_bae t1_ixsrze8 wrote

Hard pass. Happily engaged to a midwesterner who came to Boston and didn’t seem to have a struggle. I’m sure he’ll find a nice lady.

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justhereforporn17629 t1_ixt7hz2 wrote

"hi, I think all women are the same. Why am I not having success dating?"

Bruh. Fix your fucking brain.

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Intrepid-Hunter-5813 t1_ixu0d40 wrote

Yes, the harsh New England weather causes them to be physically cold to the touch at all times. My advice is to bundle up, seek shelter, and avoid all social situations.

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RogueInteger t1_ixuictz wrote

Judging by the table of girls at Loco last night the opposite is true. Where do they issue the black crop top and jeans uniform?

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Peeeculiar t1_ixswv61 wrote

It's Boston. We're all outsiders. Folks keep to themselves around these parts.

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lintymcfresh t1_ixsz0cq wrote

plenty of folks doin just fine here

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Kitchen_Ad_7497 t1_ixt4ga1 wrote

The ones I dated smoked in the bed and left Dunkin’ doughnut cups all over the place.

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climberskier t1_ixssyg5 wrote

This isn't Philly or NYC. We are known for our anti-social scene. In Boston, dating apps are really big and are really the only socially-acceptable way to meet people.

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online_anomie t1_ixv0nio wrote

Welcome to Boston. /s

If you weren't born here you and you don't change your views on "girls" here, we will always likely make you feel like an outsider.

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Jer_Cough t1_ixuvjdx wrote

Years ago some culture mag rated Boston as the best city to be single. The editor had to clarify that it's the best city to STAY single.

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if420sixtynined420 t1_ixwu8ki wrote

I find it considerably easier to date in every other city i've lived in, or travel to.

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nflreject t1_ixu3e25 wrote

Wrong thing to post In Todays world.

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VeterinarianRich5986 t1_ixvcjy5 wrote

I’ve lived in 5 US states over the course of my life, and Boston was where I had by far the most difficulty dating. I think the issue is that generally the number of single men outnumbered the number of single women. It felt like at least 5 other guys were competing for every woman I was remotely interested in dating.

I moved to NYC and I had a much better experience.

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trimtab28 t1_iy1ul62 wrote

Really? Tbh, I came here from NYC and found Boston's dating scene to be way easier when I was single. Here most women I was meeting were just going for advanced degrees at the local universities or professionals and just swamped with whatever they were working towards. Could come off cold because of that, but not in a nasty way- just seemed pretty much every woman was insanely busy with her career or educational goals, and getting in a relationship was something they wanted but also didn't feel they could dedicate all their time to. On the flip side, back in NYC my options were either people who grew up outside the city coming to Manhattan or Brooklyn that no matter how they looked seemed to think they were worthy of a male model with a Wall St. exec salary, or in the outer boroughs where I was from just girls from the various ethnic enclaves looking for someone whom their parents would like so they could buy a house two blocks away from them before their 30s.

For what it's worth, both NYC and Boston have a gender imbalance with more women than men. Boston is worse though- figuring that's exacerbated by how heavily educated the population is- figure BU alone is 60% women. Whether or not women come off as if it's a tighter market for them is another story. But personally, I never found it all that tough here, particularly as a guy that was going for a professional degree and with career ambitions before I met my girlfriend. Seemed like women were generally just thrilled if you would go to museums with them or could hold an articulate conversation

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VeterinarianRich5986 t1_iy90hmz wrote

Huh, that’s interesting. I felt that if you’re NOT a (white) biotech professional who went to Harvard, then you’re SOL with dating in Boston.

I went on maybe 3-4 first dates a year in Boston. I had an easier time in nyc even during the pandemic and actually managed to land a long-term relationship here.

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trimtab28 t1_iyaphl4 wrote

Well, I'm a short white guy who neither went to Harvard nor is a biotech professional. And really didn't have any shortage of dating opportunities back when I was single. As I said, most women I met were just career oriented and things wouldn't pan out because they were super focused on whatever life goal they were working towards. Wasn't an issue of the size of my bankbook or degree- seemed they just cared that I was focused professionally and reasonably intelligent.

By contrast in NYC local women in the boroughs were down to earth and homely, but the transplants there to "make it" seemed to be super status conscious and obsessed with someone to make their friends on social media jealous

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psychicsword t1_ixxr60b wrote

My girlfriend is like a furnace sometimes. Definitely not cold at all.

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TheTr7nity t1_ixue8pw wrote

I used to live in Boston and dated women from there and tbh, I would go as far as saying, Boston is home to the most unapproachable and most stand-off ish women in the country. It’s just the culture in general in Boston. Everyone is recluse and keeps to themselves. You are better off looking elsewhere, go get yourself a southern woman.

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