asocial_butterfly t1_j1lnux5 wrote on December 25, 2022 at 11:30 AM

I'm from the Pacific Northwest and I agree with you, actually. I think most people here are already established in their friend groups and not looking for new connections. On the west coast there's generally more of an openness to give new friends a chance.

If you're serious about making friends, here's what's worked for me, and others I've met in a similar situation: https://www.skipthesmalltalk.com/public-events?category=Boston

It's literally like speed dating but just for making friends (although they also have dating events, never tried that myself). I moved here five months ago, and by attending once a month I have a pretty solid friend group by now - generally going out three or four nights a week. It's mostly people (20s and early 30s) who are also recent to the area.

Beyond that, maybe try just joining a volunteer group, adult sports league, or church community (of your choosing, there's tons of options around here) and being open about looking for friends. It takes time, and the holidays/midwinter is by far the hardest time of the year to meet anyone new. Good luck and happy holidays!

nahrgs t1_j1lxj0y wrote on December 25, 2022 at 1:41 PM

Another PNWer here. My experience is that PNW folks are nice but not friendly and Boston folks are not nice but friendly. What I mean by that is that someone in the NW is generally open and willing to meet new people but they are flakey and not the greatest friends. Bostonians are cold and closed off but if you make friends with one they will give you the shirt off their back and be there when you need them.

ObviousAd22 t1_j1mcwhf wrote on December 25, 2022 at 4:09 PM

I like this. I'd rather work harder to have better quality friends.

pep_c_queen t1_j1n4mc9 wrote on December 25, 2022 at 7:48 PM

Yes!!!! I can absolutely confirm this as having lived in Boston and Seattle. In Boston people don’t want to bother you, but most are actually willing to be bothered and will become your friend, they just won’t start the conversation.

darkwater931 t1_j1mcvg3 wrote on December 25, 2022 at 4:08 PM

This has been my experience as well!

giveumthaboot t1_j1mp9s9 wrote on December 25, 2022 at 5:48 PM

I moved from Boston to Portland, and this is absolutely correct.

Cameron_james t1_j1mkn5u wrote on December 25, 2022 at 5:12 PM

I'm not established in my friends group. I just prefer to not have friends. I met the people from Boston growing up. We aren't that great.